Yes. Here it is – the whole enchilada of how to fix your marriage. If you are suffering from loneliness and disconnection, hurting from angry words launched like grenades blowing up an already damaged or broken heart, know that God is bigger than all of this and He CAN fix it. His goal is for your marriage to glorify Him – and He knows what He is doing! There is a proven specific PATH – and we have a strong track record of taking people down it.

We have watched Him heal filed divorces, separation, mental illness, addiction, demonic influences, rage, affairs, and tons of other less dramatic situations.

First let’s talk about what usually does NOT work:

1. Attending embarrassing “conflict of the week” sessions where both people tell their side with an audience – people usually leave feeling worse than they did when they got there
2. Applying “what works” in a healthy marriage to one that is struggling – or adding things in the wrong order
3. Demanding perfection from your spouse when they are learning new habits
4. Getting your identity from how your spouse treats you instead of your relationship with the Lord
5. Reacting in anger due to triggers – and expecting your spouse to not trigger you instead of doing your own healing work
6. Leading with complaint (usually a “you-statement” that on the surface looks like a legitimate concern but is really giving voice to the accuser)
7. Refusing to apply boundaries for whatever reason

Here is what DOES work:

1. Applying the 20 positives to every ONE negative ratio (research on 4000 couples over 40 years from University of Washington gold standard studies)
2. Having ZERO communication when you or your partner are emotional (and “frustrated” IS emotional!)
3. Bringing up just ONE topic at a time and ending on a good note
4. Being trustworthy
5. Choosing to act like a friend
6. Becoming a listener that is on your spouse’s team, validating their perspective before (and sometimes without!) sharing your own
7. Choosing to spend fun time together on purpose, every week, consistently – and NO, dinner doesn’t count!
8. Being patient as your spouse grows – thinking the best of them and paying attention to that instead of complaining and criticizing
9. Overcoming your own triggers and emotionality to become mature as a person – which means forgiving injuries and letting go of bitterness and resentment
10. Following Christ and seeking the Kingdom FIRST – and then everything else will fall into place

That’s a lot – seemingly simple stuff, and, with history of past hurts in the way of healing, it CAN be hard.

It takes 1-3 months of consistent intentional effort on the right adds to fix things – and another 3 to create the habits that continue progress.

We have been at this for a minute and watch God heal couples that others have recommended to divorce.  He IS bigger and He IS in the restoration and transformation business. He WANTS you to get it and save your marriage 🙂

I have personally experienced this healing and I encourage you to borrow my hope until we talk. We don’t take everyone, btw – we look for very specific things that let us know ahead of time if this process will be successful for you at this time.

Reach out if you are finally ready to take the steps forward to have the marriage of your dreams in 2026!

Got questions? Reply to this if you got it via email or contact me at Coachnina (at) greaterimpact.org

Love to you,

Nina