One Way to Deeply Impact Your Marriage
If there was just ONE thing you could do that would deeply impact your marriage, would you do it?
It’s something women are wired to do easily.
When my daughter was four years old, she had a friend whose kitten died. When she found out about it from the little girl’s mom, she told me, “I have to go. I have to go be with her.” I asked her what she was going to do, and she replied, “I have to go help her cry.”
And she did. She simply went over to her friend’s house and sat with her and cried with her.
In that way, she did the “right” part of what Job’s friends did for him…
Job 2:11-13
11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.
12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.
13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.
Later, they started criticizing him. Judging him.
Not awesome.
…
I have a friend who is having a hard time with her firstborn going to college. We’re going to sit together and look through photo albums and cry together over change, missed opportunities, celebrations of tender moments, and our happy/sad mothers’ hearts.
And I’m trying to figure out how to do friendship with my husband right now, as we navigate the waters of serious health issues for him together. What does it mean to be his friend right now? As I’m learning, it often means just showing up.
Dare 31 talks about how loving a man can sometimes feel like a spectator sport.
Doesn’t it seem like it starts when they are just so very young?
I went to my daughter’s first baby sitting job with a new family last night, and the two little boys, ages 3 and 2, kept saying, “Watch me!” They really didn’t want to interact, but rather to be seen.
I don’t think this changes as they grow older. I can’t tell you how many things I’ve done just watching my kids, just watching my husband. Showing up matters.
What about you? Have you ever “helped someone cry” and just “been there” for them? What does that look like with Your husband?
Would love to hear from you today – some of the small things in marriage and parenting net big returns. Dare you to share Titus 2 style with us today.
And praises are in order for our pilot class of Daughters of Sarah. The countdown is ON… in just 4 weeks, Part 1 will be available to you, and 8 weeks after that, Part 2!! We’ll keep you posted.
Would you mind chiming in on our trailer for Daughters of Sarah? This is a “work in progress” and we’d love to get feedback from you about it. How does it make you feel when you watch it? What do you think about the class from viewing it? Is it too long? Too short? Does it convey enough information?
And we have a new thing for fall for you if you are starting up a small group doing The Respect Dare, or even if you just want me to hang out with you once a week doing it. These were filmed in my office, and are just very casual. Nothing like the eCourse (which is filling up fast – starts September 15, so grab a spot if you are interested), or the professional job that was done on the Daughters of Sarah videos. So the filming is pretty laid back, and so am I. Women were asking for a “in my living room chat” with me, so it’s what we came up with. I’ve heard the content is good, and if you agree, praise God for that. 🙂 Please know 100% of the tuition and video purchase goes to our ministry – I volunteer my time and take no compensation.
If you have friends you’d like to share these relationship-changing tools with while they deepen their relationship with God, we’d appreciate the help – we just don’t have the money for advertising and would love to see Him impact even more families around the globe. 🙂
Just as an FYI, you can always share anything you get from us here, or via the TIPS! that come in email. It’s all His. 🙂
And if you think of us, please pray for my lifetime friend and husband as we find out more next week. I keep choosing to remember that God is good, all the time.
SO glad you are on the journey! Can’t wait to hear from you today. 🙂
Love to you,
I went back to this post from your most recent. Last night I went out with my husband to weed his garden because you helped me figure out sitting beside him or being with him is precious time. I stood watching him; then began praising him for how good it looked, how easy it was to pull the weeds and how proud I was of his green thumb. We even laughed because I planted a few posies in one spot and he admitted must have pulled them up as weeds because they were gone. We could laugh because I did the same thing several years in a row to an expensive plant he was trying to grow several years ago. I really enjoyed myself and all I did was talk.
Love this story, Kathy. Now you’ll just have to get him to help you with the wall paper, wink 😉
Encouraging and good common sense as always Nina 🙂
Nina, if you want to be a really special friend to your husband, just hang out with him as he is doing various activities, such as working on a project or a hobby. Don’t say much; maybe don’t say anything. Simply quietly be there with him. Let him decide what interaction and communication will happen — maybe none, maybe some, maybe a lot.
Just the fact that you are there in his world, letting him create the world, will mean the world to him.
Jim, that is not a loving thing to tell a woman, to sit quietly and wait and let him. Decide what interaction and communication will happen? And don’t say anything?
That is so hurtful to read.
Beryl, I’m sorry if what I said was hurtful to you in any way.
Nina had expressed a desire to do friendship with her husband in the midst of his health issues. I wanted to let her know what would be most meaningful to him.
My point was to give a man’s perspective on the issue, since it seemed to me like that was what Nina was looking for in this situation.
The video is awesome! I hope to get a copy of both. You help me see I am not the only one with struggles. I only wish I was as strong as you!
Oh, Denise. I’m not strong at all. I’m the weakest thing around. But Him? HE is strong within me, and sometimes, I can stay out of His way long enough to watch His glory unfold before my very eyes. 🙂 Just keep pursuing our Lord, baby. He is everything. 🙂
SO glad you are here!! 🙂
Love to you,
~Nina
Nina, All of your blogs, books, videos, etc have touched my heart and helped heal my soul, my marriage and my relationship with The Lord. I thank Him every day for leading me to this ministry.
Praising God for what He is doing within you, Tiffaine. 🙂 Anything ANYTHING that you’ve seen here that is good is all ALL 100%-style from Him.
SO glad you are here! I can’t wait to see what you are doing 5 years from now.
Love to you,
~Nina
Think your info DVD is very good! I’m 71 and want to let you know that it will appeal to women my age also. I’ts a hope giver and is packaged in a way that will keep people’s attention. Marge
Thank you! 🙂 It’s REALLY valuable to know the video connects to you – we want women with experience in the class for a multitude of reasons, but it really helps the younger ones learn Titus 2 style.
What we’re seeing, also (which was my biggest concern, honestly) is that the women don’t want to go home. I’ve run this class and had gals stay after for over an hour – and we are seeing similar things now in the pilots. 🙂 Praising God! 🙂
SO glad for your feedback today, Marge. Glad you are here, beautiful!!
Love to you,
Nina