I’ll explain the photo at the end. Here is a BIG piece of what’s wrong in your marriage…
I meet with people every day around the Marriage Transformation – and the thing that just makes me sad is when two followers of Christ are so held captive by lies they can’t see past their own pain to what possibilities are there.
It’s NEVER just one person’s fault.
The accuser (the enemy) chimes in … on the daily… and they buy it all… hook line and sinker style all the way to divorce court.
If we can intervene and God drops the scales and a humble heart shows up, they can work their way back to hope in Christ again. It’s actually very simple. Not easy, but simple.
THEN the marriage can be saved.
(Right now maybe someone is resisting this saying, “you don’t know my spouse – they will never have a humble heart!” And what you don’t see is how that thought is keeping YOU stuck)
Brutal truth, but I’ve been there – on the inside of this, and on the outside with too many couples to not say this is what’s true.
I hear “I’ve done everything” and “I don’t know how to fix this” and only the second statement is true. If you knew what to do you’d be doing it. Of COURSE you don’t know what to do. You’ve never seen it, and honestly I don’t know why more therapists don’t know this process.
If a couple’s pride or fear (same thing often) stays in the way… well, that’s another one lost with the secondhand often inaccurate label of “s/he’s a narcissist,” or the judgment of “they never really knew the Lord,” as if those are things WE could even ever really see.
Most of the people I work with have been labeled and/or labeled their spouse as a narcissist. And even had therapists join in fun – which is heinous if you ask me, because you simply cannot diagnose someone without seeing them, and I have personally seen these people be wrong.
So far it’s 100% of the time with the couples we work with.
And families have been destroyed by this unethical action.
It just makes me a little sad and even angry sometimes – people who say they love God but reject Him and His love at the same time, buying the lies of this world, the enemy, and well-meaning people who don’t know how to help.
Unfortunately there is a severe consequence for those who lead them astray.
May I never be one of them.
I know what I’ve seen.
The God I worship splits seas, brings sight to the blind, and heals the broken-hearted. I’ve PERSONALLY watched Him heal marriages deemed “unsavable” by multiple therapists, counselors, and pastors.
I’ve seen Him be bigger than it all.
I’m often the only voice of hope – and maybe you need to borrow mine because that is how big the God I worship is.
Anyway.
Just some musings around challenging relationship situations – and a small encouragement that maybe it’s time – maybe you need to do something different. To take a small action to move forward and reach out with a PM so you don’t have to wait til your level of tolerance for misery is nearly exhausted before it is finally worth it to you to take action.
I’ll know if we can help or not – and I’ll tell you exactly what needs to be there if we can’t.
It’s not over.
The photo is me riding a polo horse, thought I’d give that sport a taste, take a risk, see if I liked it, do something different. I don’t need to bore you with the details but it was a ton of fun!
And that’s how we try to make this process of healing your marriage – more fun than challenge.
And we watch God work.
When’s the last time you THOUGHT differently in your marriage?
You don’t know how. I get it.
That’s at the core of your issues, btw, no matter how your spouse is acting.
Let’s do something about that.
It can literally change everything.
If you are ready to take action – let’s talk. Just reply to this email to get started with or without your spouse now – and/or come to our conference!
