I don’t mean to offend you with this… but it may be a brutal or potentially triggering post… know it’s written in love and prayers for you if you are struggling in your marriage.

Some mornings I read Scripture and am stunned by God’s directness and even harsh communication with us. Yes, we are loved, but James 4:4-7 … whoa. He is right, of course. Humbling ourselves is the first step toward changing our marriage. I am thankful for the Lord’s directness through His books of the Bible – without them, we would make mistakes on the daily.

We still do.

I’m reading this book right now (Practicing the Way, by John Mark Comer) with a friend – Comer says only 10% of current people who claim to be Christians actually put in the effort daily to follow Christ.

Are you one of them?

No one likes to hear this, but if you are blaming your spouse for the issues in your marriage INSTEAD of putting your FOCUS on what YOU can do differently, you will STAY a victim in that mess.

Do you know how to STOP doing that?

Most people don’t.

They stay stuck because they literally cannot even SEE another option.

Here is hope – you can’t see it because you are caught in negative thought patterns that need to change. ONLY THEN can you really start bringing different outcomes into your relationship. And these thought patterns CAN be CHANGED. The ones you have now are keeping you stuck.

The worry becomes “I’ll be a doormat if I don’t do what I’m currently doing,” ummm… I get the fear, but you again are really only seeing the one option in your head of doing something differently – which gets you walked on. So naturally you wouldn’t want to do that, but you aren’t seeing the other available options.

There IS a better higher Way.

You CAN change your marriage.

And I may be the only one out there telling you this is actually possible. But I have seen God do this over and over again when people are humble – God lifts them up and heals them and their marriage.

When we aren’t humble (which by the way keeps our eyes OFF of our own behavior) we stay stuck.

You can tell if you are humble by whether or not you are more focused on what you did/are doing OR spending your energy listening to “the accuser” and blaming your spouse. That guy WANTS to keep you stuck.

YOU get to CHOOSE who you will listen to and serve.

I know it sounds scary.

I know most won’t lay down their hurt and pride to even reach out to me. It’s easier to be in what you are because you know it so well.

I did too.

I’m living proof that God can move you out of this hell into a transformed space where you no longer feel like this. Reply to this email with “hope” and let’s visit – borrow MY hope and faith til we talk!

Love to you,
Nina