Do you wonder how to handle being treated like garbage?

Recently, I published this post: Respect Means Acting with Integrity and received a comment stating, “in other words, you just accepted people treating you like garbage?”

Made me super sad that was the walk-away. 

Essentially, God used the opportunity to be people-pleasing with a decision around breast feeding my daughter to help me level up. I didn’t need to be aggressive, stand up for her or my rights in a loud obnoxious way, but rather let love win.

Here’s how I responded to the commenter’s statement, “so you accepted being treated like garbage”:

No – but great question! I accepted the reality (big difference) of how they act, instead of making their behavior about ME, and didn’t feel sorry for myself because the person was acting that way towards me. I would also be curious around what had them so whatever, as their behavior had nothing to do with me. THEN is when it becomes possible to set a boundary, leave a conversation, or create connection instead of conflict, because I am not tipped over with offense.

For example, when someone said, “That kid is too old to be doing that!” I replied, “Oh? tell me more about why you believe that.” And would listen, usually to some ill-formed opinion about how it was going to damage the baby to not wean them yesterday. Then I would say, “Thanks for letting me know what you think.” And for me, that was the end of it. If they pushed, which was usual, I would respond with “My pediatrician believes baby should get nutrition this way, since it is the only thing their gut can tolerate. They were born with a digestion issue, and they’d be malnourished and in constant pain otherwise.” And that would be the end of it. I was respectful, the other person learned something, and usually followed up with an apology. 

Any fool can respond with anger and offense – and most fools do! His ways are higher (and more effective) than our ways, building connection, creating opportunity) but that level of response is only possible when we aren’t offended. When our identity in Christ is solid, we just don’t get offended and can be patient with the behavior of others – even if it is rude, unkind, unloving. We are never more like the Lord than when we are not offended by other’s behaviors and can be kind even during disagreement. 

It’s shocking to me how VERY NEEDED that ability is in marriage. SO. After having three people reach out to me within the last few days, I want to see if God is doing a thing…

It wasn’t my plan to do another marriage intensive in January (and it still may NOT be…) I was thinking maybe fall 2024. BUT… the Lord has had three people contact us about this in the last week and a half so I’m listening. IF you are interested in being “unoffendable” and creating connection where conflict now exists, please contact me via coachnina (at) greaterimpact.org and we’ll set up a time to talk. We have a near 100% success rate – a proven method, and I want you to STAY OUT OF THE LAWYER’S office the first week of January.

Seriously, you HAVE done a TON to try to turn your marriage around – and you haven’t done this. There are a few key elements that you’ll be able to apply that can change everything. It takes TIME. And help. From people who have been there, done that, know the path, and can show you the way. We screen everyone before signing them up, and yes, I do tell people when I don’t think we can help.

Anyway. Freedom may be God’s plan for you in 2024. Let me know if you are interested. If you get this via email, let me know if you are interested by replying to the message.

Love to you,

Nina