We’re so glad you are here! This is where you’ll find the episodes from Greater Impact’s Podcast, What to Say & How to Say It!
The Greater Impact Podcast (archive below) features video versions of some of the most inspirational and compelling Greater Impact interviews with great people (Nina Roesner, Kyle Hargrove, Doris Homan, Shysha Lewis, etc). Audio versions are available on all podcast platforms.
Stop reacting in conflict situations, and discover how to respond instead! Conquer people-pleasing, establish boundaries, and create authentic relationships! This email might help you.
Please note: This information is NOT meant as relationship or business advice, as we cannot possibly know your individual situation. Even if we did, the Holy Spirit has His way of doing things, which none of us fully know. Please listen to God over anything we EVER say! Participating in any place in the community is an agreement to hold Greater Impact, and all of our volunteers and staff harmless for any outcomes as a result of decisions you make based on what you learn here.
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Episode Archive:
What to Do When You’re Causing More Trouble in Your Relationship | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #147
Join Nina and Kyle as they dig into what to do if you’re causing more trouble in your relationship. Learn how to work together as a team to keep your marriage healthy and happy!
How to Build Habits That Fill Your Life With Greater Joy | Nina Roesner & Marcus Warner | #146
Are some people just born happy? Most of us grew up thinking that joy is random and fleeting, instead of something we can actually count on or build our life around. But brain science has revealed that joy is the perfect word to describe the fuel on which our brains run. So how do we live a joy-filled life? Joy is possible. It doesn’t have to be a random experience that catches you off guard now and then. Some of the most joyful people have endured unbelievable trauma. Joy-filled living expands our world. It makes life an adventure and teaches us to live for what is truly satisfying. Discover the skills and habits you can develop that will enhance your very quality of life. This episode is a must-watch! Join Nina Roesner and author Marcus Warner on this episode where they talk about how to build habits that fill our lives with greater joy and satisfaction. Based on the latest neuroscience and attachment theory–but written in everyday language–The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People book is practical and easy to comprehend. The authors provide exercises and tools you can put into practice immediately. Download the book here: 4habits.org
Learn How to Make Positive and Imperative Changes in Your Relationships | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #145
Experience the joy and abundant life God intended for you in your relationships. Learn how to be heard and feel connected. In this episode, Nina and Shy share their experience from a previous Strength and Dignity Conference.
What to Say When You’re Dealing With a Complainer | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #144
Sandy feels like her husband is a chronic complainer and she’s having a hard time dealing with it. She tried to talk to him but he ignored her. Now, her kids are adapting to their father’s attitude. Are you in a similar situation where someone in your life complains a lot and you’re having a hard time dealing with it? This episode is a must-watch! Join Nina and Shy as they talk about how to deal with a complainer in all your relationships.
What to Say When You Need to Show Self-Respect in the Midst of Conflict | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #143
This episode is a must-watch! Join Nina and Shy as they talked about self-respect.
Learn How to Deal With Pain to Show Up Differently in Your Relationship | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #142
Do you feel life is painful at the moment? Are you struggling and don’t know how to deal with it? We are here for you, friend! This episode is a must-watch! Join Nina and Kyle as they talk about how to navigate pain.
How To Handle Behaviors That Drive You Crazy | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #141
Haley’s husband promises her but he “forgets” to pick up her only gown at the dry cleaners the night before her big acceptance award at work, so she has to run to the gown boutique last minute. Things like this always slip her husband’s mind and she feels like he intentionally “forgets” things as a way to ignore her or get under her skin. This episode is a must-watch! Join Nina and Kyle as they talk about how to handle behaviors that make you crazy.
What to Say When Privilege Meets Suffering | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #140
Claire is stressed out at home with all the chores and being a new mother. Her husband commented on her appearance and she started feeling insecure. She feels like her husband doesn’t get her because all she wants was support from him and understanding that her body needs to heal after having a baby. Is empathy missing in your sufferings? What can you do so others could understand you more? This episode is a must-watch! Join Nina and Shy as they talked about what to say when privilege meets suffering.
What To Say When Help Becomes Transactional | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #139
Angelica asked her husband to help her with the dishes. Her husband replied that since she did not help him with his favor earlier, he won’t help her with the dishes. Do you feel like your marriage starts to feel transactional? Do your relationships feel like work? You won’t want to miss this episode with Nina & Shy if you ever find yourself in this situation.
Living a Life on Purpose | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #138
Join Nina and Kyle as they dig into this topic. Learn how to work together as a team to keep your marriage healthy and happy! Be sure to grab our free pdf of our website, https://greaterimpact.org, and Stop Walking on Eggshells today!
What to Say When Seasonal Expectational Disasters Occur in Your Relationship | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #137
Before marriage = happy couple. During marriage = disaster. You met “the one” and couldn’t believe how easily you both get along and imagined how perfect your life is gonna be with that person. But after getting married, you were hit with reality, your “the one” was not as perfect as you thought. You began to wonder if you’d made a big mistake and you started to regret getting married. You are not alone. It’s not too late to connect with your spouse. Join Nina and Kyle as they dig into what to do during a disaster in your relationship. Learn how to work together as a team to keep your marriage healthy and happy!
What to Say When You’re Hit Below the Belt in Conflict | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #136
“I never would have yelled at you if you hadn’t said that to me first,” “You’re the one who’s always starting these damn arguments,” or “You’re the real problem in this relationship.” Does this seem fit for you when you are arguing with someone else? Or do you hear these things when you’re arguing with someone, especially your spouse? Join Nina and Shy as they discuss what to say when you’re hit below the belt in conflict.
What To Say When Boundaries Become Punitive | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #135
Melissa approached her spouse to talk because of the chaos that happened during their family dinner but her husband responded that he can’t talk at the moment but maybe tomorrow. The next day came but her husband responded the same, she tried everything to communicate her feelings to her husband but she feels like her husband is totally shutting her down. Join Nina and Shy as they talk about what to say when boundaries become punitive.
What To Say When There’s Delusion Happening In The Room | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #134
Have you had any experience with delusion in your relationship? How did you deal with it? Join Nina and Shy as they talk about what to say when a delusion happens in your relationships.
What To Say When Scripture Is Used As a Weapon | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #133
Anne is arguing with her husband because she doesn’t want to go to her husband’s company party. Her husband got frustrated and shouted at Anne to obey and submit to him because he’s the husband. What would you do if you were in this situation? Listen to this episode as Nina and Shy talk about what to do when scripture is used against you.
How To Fight For Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #132
Are you willing to fight for your marriage but don’t know where to start and how to do it? Listen to Nina and Kyle as they navigate this topic.
What to Say When You’re the Villain in Someone Else’s Story | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #131
Mira’s husband wants to buy a new car to replace his old car. Mira disagrees with his plan because they’re about to purchase a new house and can’t afford a new car when he still has a capable but old vehicle. Her husband started to view Mira as the villain because she went against his desires. She doesn’t know what to do anymore to make her husband understand her point. Listen to Nina and Shy as they discuss what to say and do when you are the villain in someone else’s story.
You Need to Pray Out Loud With Your Family | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #130
Christine asked her husband to join her in praying for their family and eventually lead it. Her husband asked in shock, “You want me to do what?”. Are you like this? Are you afraid to lead prayer? Are you spending time praying with your spouse? Listen to Nina and Kyle as they discuss why you need to pray out loud with your family.
How a Reset Button Can Be Really Useful for Overhauling Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #129
Mila feels like her marriage is unraveling because she and her husband stopped believing in the best of each other and started assuming the worst behind every action. They continued to choose hate over understanding and it destroyed their intimacy. Are you in a similar situation? Want to rediscover and reset your marriage? Join Nina and Kyle as they navigate this topic.
What To Say To Inspire Reciprocity | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #128
Is your spouse not reciprocating your energy? Listen to Nina and Shy as they provide helpful tips on what to do to inspire reciprocity.
What To Say When You Need To Speak Truth To Power | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #127
Ellen’s manager is making their team do a new strategy to help boost sales. Ellen wanted to talk to her manager about strategy because it is against company’s policies but she doesn’t know how to speak the truth to power. Join Nina and Shy as they navigate on what to say and do if you’re in this situation.
When Your Spouse’s Default Answer is “I Don’t Know” | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #126
Does your spouse’s default answer always “I don’t know”? Are you frustrated because your spouse doesn’t want to engage or be intentional in your relationship? Join Nina and Kyle as they uncover what to do when your partner’s default answer is “I don’t know”.
What to Do When Godly Sorrow Is Missing in Your Relationships | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #125
Beth is fed up with her husband always being hard on her and their kids. She doesn’t know what to do anymore because he always apologizes but doesn’t do anything to change his attitude. She did everything she could to help her husband. Do you struggle the same way? Is having a repentant heart missing in your relationship? Maybe it’s time to back down and let God act in your relationship. Join Nina and Shy as they talk about what to do when godly sorrow is a miss in your relationship.
Resentment Will Destroy Your Relationship if You Don’t Identify It and Deal With It | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #124
Penny felt an increased agitation or disgust every time she see her husband. Her husband always hears passive-aggressive words and sarcastic remarks from her every time they talked but he doesn’t know the reason why Penny acts that way. Are you having a hard time identifying or dealing with resentment? Want to know how to prevent resentment in your marriage? Check out this helpful episode where Kyle Hargrove and Nina Roesner talked about this fungus that eats and destroys relationships.
What To Say When Immaturity or Selfishness Is In The Way | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #123
Your partner wants you to notify him ahead of time every time you go out with your friends, but he’s spontaneous in making plans with his friends. He gets upset when you don’t notify him and blame you for being selfish and immature when you try to reason with him. What to do in this situation? Join Nina and Shy as they navigate this challenging situation.
What To Say When Others Judge Your Decisions | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #122
How would you react if you received unsolicited advice? Do you feel like people judge your decisions? Join Nina and Shy as they navigate this challenging situation.
How To Be a Better Listener In Your Relationship | Nina Roesner | #121
You’re listening to your husband talked about the fun they had at their work Christmas celebration and while listening a thought occurred in your mind: “Why he’s not this enthusiastic when he’s with me?”. You’re there listening but there are tons of negative thoughts on your mind that are now hindering you from building deeper connections with your spouse. What to do? Listen to Nina as she navigates this topic.
What To Say When Hateful Words or Actions Come Your Way | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #120
Kate told her husband that she wanted to be a pianist so she signed up for an online course but her husband shrugged it off and said she don’t have what it takes to be a pianist. How would you react if this happened to you? Join Nina & Shy as they talk about what to say when hateful words or actions come your way.
What To Do When You’re In a One-Sided Relationship | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #119
Sarah notices that she does things for her husband, but she can’t say he does the same for her. Can you relate to this? Are you the only one who puts work into the relationship? Don’t know what to do or say? Join Nina & Kyle as they talk about what to do when you’re in a one-sided relationship.
What To Say When Commitments Are Broken | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #118
When you commit or say you’ll do something for your spouse or family and then don’t keep your word, you’re letting them down and hurting your relationships. What to do if you break your commitments? How often do you do this? Are you stuck in this cycle? Join Nina & Shy as they talk about what to say when promises are broken in your relationship.
How Jealousy Can Destroy Your Relationship | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #117
Kate doesn’t allow her husband to go out with his friends unless she’s with him. Her husband feels like she doesn’t trust him and that she takes issues with the friendships he has with others. This causes tension in their marriage. Join Nina & Kyle as they talk about what to do in this kind of situation.
What To Say When Compassion Turns Into Enabling | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #116
Jenna’s husband walked out of her brother’s wedding reception last night after getting upset about not getting the food he liked. Jenna made an excuse for him and covered up his actions as a way to protect him. Is this the right thing to do? Join Nina and Shy as they navigate this challenging situation.
Why You Need To Run Into Conflict Instead Of Away From It | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #115
Mike and his wife, Denise, fought last week and he wants to address the conflict head-on, but his wife isn’t very comfortable talking about things, so every time he approaches her, she starts to feel put on the spot and pulls away a little bit when conflict starts to bubble up. When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to the marriage, but when handled in a respectful way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the relationship. Join Nina and Kyle as they unpack some details you may not have heard about running into conflict.
How Inner Healing Prayer Helps us Show Up Better in Relationships | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #114
You know that moment when your throat gets caught, your heart starts to race, and you sense conflict coming on? Fight, Flight, or Freeze, are your choices, thanks to our brain design. AND… because of woundings from our past, lies we believe, and vows we have made. Join Nina and Shy as they unpack some details you may not have heard about Inner Healing Prayer and Deliverance.
What To Say That Increases The Chances Of You Getting Heard Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #113
Jane told her husband about how exhausted she is after taking care of the household for the whole week and needed one day to rest. Her husband nodded and then proceeds with what he was doing. What do you think is wrong here? It’s hard to speak, to try and communicate with your partner only to see your words fall on deaf ears. Join Nina & Kyle on today’s episode on what to say that increases the chances of you getting heard.
What To Say When You Need Safety In Your Relationship | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #112
Sheena feels like she can’t share her thoughts and feelings with his husband because she is afraid that it might upset him like what happened in the past. Jed, her husband, found out about this and assured her wife that he won’t react poorly if she expresses herself, and voice her needs, boundaries, and feelings to him because he wanted to understand her. But what about those who have spouses that communicate poorly? What do you need to do? Do you feel unsafe in your marriage? Join Nina & Shy on today’s episode on what to do when you need safety in your marriage.
What To Say When Reasonable Expectation Is Missing In Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #111
Jim wants to join a marathon with his wife but she declined because she’s not into physical activities. He expressed his disappointment to her and told her that they should always do things together. This causes tension in their marriage. We all have different interests and expectations, but they don’t have to derail your relationship. Join Nina & Kyle on today’s episode on what to do when unreasonable expectations are in your marriage.
What To Say When There Is Cognitive Dissonance In The Room | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #110
You have a long to-do list but spend the day watching your favorite shows and you didn’t want your partner to know, so you try to make it look like you’ve worked hard all day. Is cognitive dissonance keeping you stuck? Join Nina & Shy as they discuss dealing with cognitive dissonance in relationships.
Act Of Resentment Can Destroy Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #109
Lily and her husband had an argument last night about financial disagreements and she brought up that she resented him over the years for not making more than enough for their financial needs ever since they had a kid. Her husband was shocked because she didn’t know Lily feels this way. Join Nina and Kyle as they navigate this challenging situation.
What To Say If You’re In A Relationship With Someone Who Is Struggling with Pornography Addiction | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #108
Jane was wondering why her husband was cold and uninterested in her intimately. Then she found her husband watching disturbing videos and felt betrayed. Pornography is a big deal and can have a significant impact on your marriage. Join Shy and our special guest, former Judge Kent Levis as they talk through what to do in this space. Kent is also the author of Come Clean, you can grab a copy from Amazon or any other major retailer at this link.
What To Say When Deflection Happens During Conflict | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #107
Joe is confused about why every time there’s a conflict with his wife, she brings up things from his past mistake. Do you bring past issues caused by your spouse when in an argument to not feel guilty? What’s the right thing to do? Join Nina and Shy as they navigate this challenging situation.
Why Empathy Is Important In Your Relationship | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #106
Do you feel disregarded or alone? But no one is empathizing with you? Join Nina and Shy as they navigate this challenging situation.
What To Say When Mental Health Is A Concern | Nina Roesner, Shy Lewis, & Stacey McDonald | #105
Maybe your partner or you struggle with psychological issues. Do they impact your relationship? Join Nina & Shy as they talk with author Stacey McDonald about her book, The Gospel of Mental Health. You can grab a copy from Amazon or any other major retailer at this link.
What to say when there are different capacities for conflict | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #104
Jo couldn’t understand why his wife wouldn’t hang in there and finish the discussion. She had a hard time working through difficult conversations without becoming emotional. Estrella was surprised Jo couldn’t understand how his direct and confrontational tone just made everything worse. What should they do? Join Nina and Shy as they navigate this challenging situation.
How to Fix Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #103
You’ve been to the workshops, paid the therapists, read the books and are still stuck in conflict, miserable in your marriage. Join Nina & Kyle Hargrove as they dig into how self-awareness either positively or negatively impacts our relationships.
What To Say When Your Reaction Is Used Against You | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #102
Your spouse just dropped a bomb on you and now they are upset that YOU are upset!! WHAT?? How’s that work? How do we deal with people who do something TERRIBLE and then focus on how we react when we find out? Join Nina & Shy as they talk about this tough subject today.
Why Support System Is Necessary | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #100
You have time after work, on the weekend, and what are you doing and who are you spending it with? Nina & Kyle talk about how necessary a support system is and how it impacts your marriage.
What To Say When Adapting To Someone Else’s Boundaries | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #99
Your spouse has just said NO, they WON’T go to the festival with you, and you are confused. What happened? Things were going along fine, and yeah, so you had a brief argument, but seems like things have cooled down… what gives? Relatable? Join Nina & Kyle as they talk about dealing with others’ boundaries.
How To Deal With Different Mindsets In Relationships | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #98
Your spouse and you have a disagreement, and both of you strongly believe your solution to a problem is the right one. What to do? How do you navigate this? Join Nina & Shy as they talk through how to deal with different mindsets in relationships.
What To Say When You Feel Invalidated | Nina Roesner | #97
Carl felt invalidated and accused when his wife came to him to confront him about the missing $2000 in their joint account. He knows he didn’t touch it, but her wife keeps accusing him and not letting him defend himself. Join Nina to know what to do and say when you’re in this situation when you feel invalidated.
What To Say When You Are Feeling Discouraged | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #96
Feeling down? Wishing for things to change? Join Nina and Kyle Hargrove as they talk about what to say!
What to Say When NOTHING is CHANGING | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #95
You have spent years trying to connect, trying to have a good marriage, and your spouse just can’t seem to understand your concerns, hear your issues, or put your needs ahead of theirs, and you are so frustrated, maybe even ready to give up. What do you say? What can you DO? Join Nina & Shy for HOPE and strategy today.
What To Say in How We Treat Others | Nina Roesner, Kyle Hargrove, & Shy Lewis | #94
Your spouse is losing their everlovin’ mind all over you, emoting up a storm you’d love to escape from. What to do? How to respond? What options do you have other than acting the same way THEY are, thinking maybe that will get you heard? Not a chance. Join Nina, Shy, and Kyle as they talk through options in this space.
What to say when you need to say NO | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #93
Everyone knows that internal pressure of being STUCK thinking they HAVE TO do a thing someone wants… what do you do? How do you justify saying NO – especially when you don’t want to disappoint the other person? Join Nina & Shy as they take a look at how saying NO could be the best thing for your relationship – and how your own identity issues show up in the struggle. Are YOU dealing with this common relationship mistake?
You, your spouse, and YOUR PHONES! | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #92
Does your spouse spend a ton of time on their device? Do you? Learn what that could be doing to your relationship as Nina & Kyle Hargrove talk through the impact our phones are having on our marriages. Are YOU dealing with this common relationship mistake?
What To Say When Accusations Are Messing Up Your Marriage | Nina Roesner | #91
Sarah was 100% sure she knew what her husband was thinking. She “just knew” he was trying to embarrass her in front of her friends when he joked with her last night. What she didn’t know was that the odds of her being correct were VERY low. The data is in! Are YOU dealing with this common relationship mistake?
What To Say When Blindness Is Ruining Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #90
We know people who just can’t see their issues, even when they are right in front of them. Join Nina and Kyle as they talk about dealing with blindness in ourselves and others.
What To Say When You Think Someone Is Lying | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #89
How do you navigate the challenge of someone lying to you? Join Nina and Shy as they navigate this hard topic on today’s podcast.
What NOT to do when you apologize | Nina Roesner | #88
Sometimes we apologize for things that are not ours to own in our relationships. Are you doing that? Sometimes we don’t apologize when we need to, thinking the situation will just get better if we don’t mention it again. That erodes trust, and can be the beginning of the end. Join Nina as she shares briefly about this topic to change your relationships today.
The simple, easy to learn conversation skill that makes a BIG difference in your marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #87
Did you know masterful conflict skills aren’t enough to build a beautiful relationship? We spend a lot of time talking about conflict, but there is one conversation skill that will make a huge difference if you will learn it. Join Nina & Kyle Hargrove as they explore this simple, easy to learn tool.
What To Say When The Other Person Is Stuck In Victim Mode | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #86
You know the drill, they are blaming, maybe even blaming YOU, and they just can’t see what’s real around them. How do you interact with that? What can you say to deal with the dreaded victim mentality? Join Nina and Shy as they explore this topic today!
Is affirmation MISSING from your marriage? | Nina Roesner | #85
Dena felt frustrated. Seems like all she ever heard was complaining from her husband. She had fallen into that habit herself, and wondered how to change. Sound familiar? Join Nina as she gives you a tangible thing you can SAY to change your marriage.
What we think is the problem in our marriage usually isn’t | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #84
You may have seen a video “It’s not about the nail,” where a woman is complaining to her husband about head pain and has a nail sticking out of her forehead. He is frustrated, tries to fix her problem, but she resists until he shows compassion. Why are we trying to deal with things in ways that don’t work? Join Nina & Kyle as they talk through how the problem really isn’t the problem.
The SAD SURPRISE about how conflict skills aren’t enough to change your marriage | Nina Roesner | #83
Carol didn’t get it… she moved back in with Stefan after they finished the conflict skills week-long training from an international ministry. Thousands of dollars spent. And YES, they had fewer conflicts. Why was she still so unhappy? What was missing? Join Nina as she shares the SAD SURPRISE few know – maybe this secret can help YOU change your marriage today!
Are You Being Fake Or Real In Your Marriage? | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #82
Maybe you feel like you need to protect your spouse from your feelings, maybe you think the people at church wouldn’t accept you if they knew what you really think. Maybe you are scared to tell your kids you don’t really know what you are doing in a tough situation at home… sound familiar? Join Nina and Kyle Hargrove as they take a look at the challenges of authenticity, and faking it in our relationships.
When It’s Not Your Fault But It Ends Up Being Your Responsibility | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #81
Loraine knew that she was NOT to blame for her husband’s gambling debt. She knew the depletion of their savings was entirely his choice. Angered, feeling alone, she worried about how they would make ends meet. It wasn’t fair that he’d done this to them. Join Nina and Kyle as they explore what savvy spouses do to deal with outcomes they didn’t have a choice in.
What To Say To Those Who Won’t Take Responsibility | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #80
Jeffrey felt frustrated with trying to get his wife to understand how her behavior affected him. He’d brought up the rude comments she made to her dad about him felt, and she dismissed him. How could he get her to see her behavior was damaging their marriage? Can you relate? Join Nina and Shy as they talk about how taking responsibility is an issue for many relationships, and what you can do about it.
STOP Criticism From Destroying Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #79
You know the feeling, words come out sideways at you, and BAM! damage is done. How do you deal with unjust criticism before it happens and after? What’s often the cause? Join Nina & Shy as they dig into this marriage-destroying behavior.
How to Handle Change | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #78
You’ve been praying and begging God to move… and finally He does! NOW WHAT? Be careful or you’ll get in the way of the coming awesome! Tune in to Nina and Kyle as they chat about this phenomenon that makes or breaks marriages – dealing with change.
THREE things to STOP to save your marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #77
Are you tired of being tired? Fed up with the stress of trying to fix your relationship? Are you wondering what you could be doing differently to salvage your marriage and family? Join Nina and Kyle as they discuss three things you have to stop doing to save your marriage. It starts with you.
How to Handle Anger, even if it scares you or you’re overwhelmed | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #76
Tonya stared with disbelief at her coworker, Elise. The words spoken over her were hateful, mean, not to mention unprofessional. Elise had a reputation for being a powder keg, and most of the staff avoided her as they never knew what would set her off. We all have a relationship with someone who has a short fuse. That anger often triggers an anger response in us, and so the cycle begins. Listen to today’s episode as Nina and Shy explore ways to deal with anger.
What you MUST STOP DOING right now if you want to save your marriage and sanity | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #75
Wondering why you keep having challenging situations, frustrating outcomes, or disagreements? Wishing you could STOP feeling like garbage and being taken advantage of? Join Nina and Licensed Professional Counselor, Kyle Hargrove, as they discuss two things you have to stop doing to save your marriage.
3 Keys To Becoming A Respected Person | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis #74
In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It, listen to Nina & Shy as they explore what are the 3 keys to becoming a respected person in our relationships.
What To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #73
Your spouse comes home late again, doesn’t call, doesn’t text, and you notice the chore they said they’d do is still undone. Moreover, no real communication other than kid logistics for months, and sex is hardly happening…. What to do? Check out today’s episode where Nina and Shy discuss what to do to not give up.
5 Tools to STOP Walking on Eggshells at Work, Home, and Church! | Nina Roesner | #72
You KNOW that feeling… the dread, the gut twist, the thing that happens when we agree to do something we don’t want to do because we’re afraid someone else will have a fit. I’ve had it, too. It’s lousy. And controlling. We waste time walking on eggshells, and over time, the relationship degenerates into something super unhealthy. Want to STOP that? Listen to today’s episode of What to Say & How to Say It and learn how to speak up, navigate conflict, and deal with your own negative emotions. Grab your copy of “5 Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells” from https://greaterimpact.org!
How to NOT blow up your family and friends over | Nina Roesner | #71
3 Keys to Create Mutual Respect in Sticky Situations – even if you think you’ll fail! | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #70
Clara felt trapped in the hallway as she listened to Stefan drone on and on… and on… complaint after complaint about his work situation. Then he criticized the neighbor’s poor choice of dog breed, noting the short legs of the Basset Hound and its howling. “I wish he would just shut up,” she thought to herself. “He never asks me about me, the kids, my job… just more about him and his opinions.” She wondered why she’d ever been attracted to so much selfishness. HUGE mistake in asking him how his day was! What she didn’t know was WHY she felt like this! Have you ever been Stefan? Wonder what you’re doing to disrespect yourself and others AND create distance in relationships? Listen in today as Nina & Shy talk about 3 keys to creating mutual respect in sticky situations, even if you think you’ll fail!
Why A Lack Of This One Thing Could Be Ruining Your Marriage (and it’s NOT sex!) | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #68
Darla droned on and on about the doctor’s appointment for their preschooler. She seemed concerned, but Nick couldn’t remember about what, she took so many tangents when she talked. What was she doing that made it so hard to listen to her? Check out today’s podcast with Nina & Kyle Hargrove as they talk through Emotional Physics, and the ONE skill everyone needs in their marriage.
How to Change Your Marriage Through Your Relationship with Jesus Christ | Nina Roesner & Doris Homan | #67
Kevin realized early in his marriage that his wife had more patience, was kinder, and more gentle than he was. WHY? Finally, he asked her, and the answer surprised him, “No, baby, that’s our Jesus you’re seeing.” Stumped, he asked God about this. How could that be a thing? What could HE do to allow Christ to rule his heart, mind, and words more easily? Check out this episode of What to Say & How to Say It where Nina & author Doris Homan talk through how our salvation and Christian faith walk is also an opportunity for deeper connection in marriage.
How Common Christian Myths Might Be In The Way Of Creating A Healthy Marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #66
We get married with these notions of happiness and holiness and find ourselves struggling with what healthy actually looks like. Christian myths might be part of the problem. Join Nina and Kyle as they discuss myths some of their clients have believed, and how that impacts the marriage negatively.
How To Have Hope When Your Relationship Is A Mess | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #65
There’s a fine line between hope and stupidity, where we leave reality and keep having wishful thinking – that ironically often lands us in hopeLESSness. Listen in today as Nina and Shy talk about how the verse, Love always Hopes, comes into play when your relationship is a mess.
What Does It Mean That LOVE Always TRUSTS? Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #64
Jered listened to his wife’s apology about the affair in the counselor’s office. She seemed sincere and said she had changed her ways, but she’s done that before. As a Christian, was he supposed to just trust her now? Love always trusts, right? Explore this Biblical command and what we believe it means with Nina & Shy in today’s episode.
The Process Your Relationship MUST Go Through To Change | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #63
You want things to be different. Your spouse says everything is fine. What to do? What needs to be in place to change a relationship? Join Nina & Kyle as they dig into what the process is for change to occur in your relationships.
What Does it Mean that Love Protects | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #62
Javin saw his son struggle with the other boys at school, picked on, probably because of his accent. “I’m not going to slay your dragon, son, I’m giving you a sword.” Join Nina and Shy as they discuss what it means for love to protect and how to notice if you’re being controlling, as we talk about the best gifts we can give those we care about most.
You Broke It, Can You Fix It? | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #61
Sheila recognized her daughter’s silence as deserved. While right about the boundaries with a curfew, she knew her tone had been too harsh, and now her daughter wouldn’t even look at her. What to do? Can you relate? Even when right, we can cause damage. Join Nina and Kyle as they explore what to do when we create relational damage.
What To Say So That Love Doesn’t Rejoice In Evil But In Truth | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #61
Louisa thought to herself, “Well, now THERE’s some decent reaping and sowing! Serves him right! I told him so! Keep making fun of their daughter in front of her friends, and a day of reckoning was coming!” and there it played out, Seth receiving a tongue -lashing like nobody’s business from his fifteen-year-old daughter. Can you relate? Ever feel just a little bit good when someone “gets what’s coming to them?” Check out today’s episode and hear what Nina and Shy have to reveal about this topic.
What To Say as a Concerned Citizen | Nina Roesner & Michelle Bachman |#59
In this episode, we deviate from our normal relationship focus to deal with a “what to say” as a concerned citizen – if you live in a country where voting is a thing, NOW is the time to make your voices heard. If you live in the United States, please listen to this short episode.
Without Rest, We Can’t Be Our Best | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #58
David fell into bed exhausted after a long day at work, running kids to sports, picking the dog up from the groomer, and grabbing dinner for the family. Fast food. Again. Karla noticed him walk in the house and called out a cheerful, “hello!” Over the din of the kids, he barely heard her, grumped a “yup,” in response, and slowly found his way to the den. An hour later, his wife found him there, basketball game on the tv, David asleep again in his big chair. Can you relate? No matter which side of this equation you are on, you’ll find encouragement from Nina & Kyle today as they talk about what to say TO YOURSELF to be your best and find your rest.
5 Signs You Might Be A High-Functioning Nervaholic | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #57
“Stressed” was Billie’s middle name. Seemed like everyone BUT her knew that, however. What could she do? Two kids in soccer, a demanding job, a husband that traveled, things were BUSY. She was the hostess for the neighborhood book club, so of course her home had to look beautiful. On the outside, she seemed like she had it all together, smiled a ton, made everyone’s day a little easier, and she didn’t sense the tension undergirding all of her communications. Sound like someone you know? Worried it might be YOU? Join Nina & Kyle as they talk about anxiety and the impact it has on people where we’re not even aware we are stressed.
Does “Love Keeps No Record Of Wrongs” Mean They Are Off The Hook? | Nina Roesner and Shy Lewis | #56
Eyes welling with tears, Louisa read the verse another time. Mikal confessed the affair only because she caught him – again. This made three women he shared himself with, violating their vows. Was God saying Mikal was off the hook with this? If she loved him, did that mean there were no consequences? Join us in today’s episode as Nina and Shy pick apart this verse and apply it to our relationships. What does it really mean to keep no list of wrongs?
How To Look at Your Past & Find The Gold That’s There That You Don’t Know Exist | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #55
June waited impatiently, exhausted, for her 9-year-old’s baseball game to finish. She knew she should be more aware of what was happening on the field, but she found herself distracted by the thoughts and emotions swirling in her head and heart. Her husband’s death left her with three kids, a mortgage, no job, and the reality of loneliness daily licking like flames ready to destroy what little sense of self she had left. How was she going to get through this? Why had God allowed Keith to be taken from her so young? Where was the purpose of this? Tune into today’s episode of What to Say & How to Say It while Nina & Kyle take you back to your past and find the gold that’s in there.
How To Deal With Being “Easily Angered” or “Provoked” In Your Relationships | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #54
You know it when you see it – a look, an eye roll, a snide remark. Love is the LAST thing you feel when those are tossed your way – especially by someone who claims to love you. What to do? How do WE keep from being easily angered ourselves? You won’t want to miss this episode with Nina & Shy if you ever find yourself dealing with anger in your love relationships.
Dealing With Foolishness In Relationships | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #53
Deanna wondered if she should confront her brother about his behavior towards their mom. The older woman spent a ton of time alone, needed his help, and he lived so much closer to her than Deanna did. She couldn’t tell if she was meddling or helping her mom out. She decided to call their sister, Claire, and ask her what she thought about it all. Can you relate? Got #familydrama? Wondering what to do? Tune into today’s episode of What to Say & How to Say It while Nina & Kyle talk through some foolish relationship behaviors, how to tell if you’re dealing with evil, and how to handle both.
Knowing The Difference Between Disagreeing & Arguing May Save Your Relationships | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #52
Heart in his throat, feeling exasperated, angry, and finally hopeless for change, Jerome threw his hands into the air. “I don’t know why I even try. You are the most disrespectful person I know!” he shouted, storming out of the room. Samantha stood dumbfounded, and confused, and began to tear up. She’d done everything she knew to do, asked if he was open to a different perspective AFTER making sure she understood his opinion and kept it simple. Why did he always blow up when she had a thought that was different than his, no matter how gentle and kind she was in presenting it? Got people like this in your life? Join Nina & Kyle as they explore the difference between disagreement and arguing and how that difference can impact your relationships today.
What To Do When You Think God Is Not Answering Your Prayers | Nina Roesner & Doris Homan | #51
Christianity is full of myths, one being, “God won’t give you any more than you can handle…” maybe that’s true IN HIS STRENGTH, but everyone in the Bible and you and I today are being called outside our comfort zones daily. Join Nina and author and Bible teacher, Doris Homan, as they dig into a few Christian misquotes and misapplications that may be messing with your relationship with yourself or others, or even God!
Two Ways to Avoid Damaging Your Relationship | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #49
Louisa listened to Stewart go on and on and on and on… While her husband was intelligent and sometimes she did learn a new thing from him, she grew weary of time spent conversing. She often found herself feeling like she was in a lecture hall listening to a teacher drone on about the topic at hand. Stewart didn’t have conversations, he gave sermons. If she tried to get a thought in, his condescending tone immediately shut down her desire to contribute or share her point of view, which was often very different from his. Maybe you have someone in your life who communicates that they are smarter, wiser, etc., than you are, and you feel most of your conversations revolve around them. Join Nina & Shy as they walk through what is happening and how to avoid being that person yourself!
How A Healthy Confrontation Maybe Just What Your Relationship Needs | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #48
“Confrontation” and “conflict” are not bad words. Most people when they experience conflict will quit the relationship. People depart the relationship rather than face and walk the conflict. Let’s listen to Nina and Kyle as they talk about healthy confrontation is what your relationship needs.
Know How Love Doesn’t Envy and How It Can Change Your Marriage Today | Nina Roesner and Shy Lewis | #47
Have you envied someone because they got want you wanted? Did you realize that being envious shows in our communication? Previously, we talked about love being patient and kind. Now, let’s listen in as Nina and Shy talk about how love doesn’t envy and how it can change your marriage today.
What You Don’t Know About Submission Could Be Damaging Your Marriage | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #46
Men tend to ask how to make their wives submit. Marriage is built with love, and that love is anything but the desire to control. What we don’t understand about submission could be damaging your marriage. Listen in as Nina and Kyle talk about what submission is and what it’s not.
How To Be Kind In Conflict | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #45
How to be kind in conflict or maybe we should call this episode, “Why men can easily be interested in sex right after an argument”. Listen in as Nina and Shy talk about what kindness is, what it’s not, and how to actually be kind in the midst of a conflict. Click the image to watch the whole episode.
What Everyone Needs to Know About Boundaries | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #44
“You’re going with me tonight, right?” Lisa asked her husband, Daryl, when he walked into the family room. His heartbeat was a bit faster. He hated it when she did this. He’d already told her he was meeting his friends for dinner. Twice. He couldn’t help it if she had a social she decided to go to after learning his plans. “No, I am still going with the guys. We can do something tomorrow night.” Lisa felt the emotions begin to rise. Why was he like this? They never spent any time together, he was always going out with his friends… The push-pull of negotiation is normal in relationships – to a certain extent. When someone makes it about them, boundaries start getting crossed, or a need for them arises. Can you relate? Join Nina and Kyle as they talk about this sticky issue dealing with fear, control, and what to do and not do with boundaries in today’s podcast.
Struggling With Patience | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #43
“Lord, help me be patient, help me grow in this area.” Every time I would pray that I’d get pregnant. Apparently, I’m a slow learner, as it took three pregnancies to discover patience isn’t something God injects into us through the power of the Holy Spirit, but rather a MATURITY developed over time. I hate that. But it’s His way, and it’s wildly useful. Join Nina and Shy as they talk about how to deal with the opportunities for patience in our lives, click the image to watch the video.
What You Don’t Know About Emotions Could Be Ruining Your Relationships | Nina Roesner & Kyle Hargrove | #36
We know men and women are different, but when we consider emotions, there are a lot of myths we hear which may or may not be true. Join us in today’s episode where Nina & Kyle talk about how what we don’t know about emotions may be in the way of healthier relationships.
How to CONFRONT someone’s sin against you, even if you’ve done it before and it’s gone badly | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #27
You discover one of your closest friends overshares about a touchy situation in your life and a few of your other church friends find out about it. You’re angry, concerned about the gossip, and feel betrayed. What do you do? How do you solve this common problem, when someone injures you, even when it is unintentional? Aren’t we supposed just to overlook the insults and turn the other cheek? Check out today’s episode of What to Say & How to Say It and learn what you can do to level up your relationships!
How To Repair Damage in a Relationship | Nina Roesner & Shy Lewis | #17
3 Proven Things To Do To Get Better Outcomes In A Conflict Situation | Nina Roesner | #16
Hearing his father’s judgmental words caused Paul’s chest to tighten, his pulse to race, and all he could do was stare at his Dad. He was frozen, couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. So much for the communication class, he’d taken at work! Those conflict sessions seem to be ineffective at best. Sound familiar? Knowing how to navigate conflict without making it worse is a skill. And a process. If you don’t know how to figure this out, you’ll spend your time at work, home, and church, arguing with people, creating disagreement, and fostering a lack of unity and connection. Join Nina as she helps us dissect three proven steps to create a better outcome when dealing with conflict!
How To Not Get Hurt By Other People | Nina Roesner | #13
“I’m sorry, honey. I can understand how you could be upset, especially thinking your mom is being neglected. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. I want to be here for you. But please don’t accuse me of an affair. That feels like an assault on my character, and it hurts. Please talk to me about what’s going on with you instead.” Do you wish you could respond kindly to accusations? Join Nina as she takes a look at how God can change how we show up in challenging situations – without becoming a doormat or steamroller.
What To Do When They Threaten Divorce | Nina Roesner | #10
“He keeps throwing the ‘D-Word’ around, every time we have a disagreement!” Carola complained. “What do I do? What if he actually files?” Knowing how to handle this isn’t easy, but it’s definitely worth doing. Join Communication Coach Nina Roesner for some tips on how to handle this damaging behavior in today’s episode of What to Say & How to Say It!
How Laying Down Your Life Can RUIN Your Marriage | Nina Roesner | #9
“What do you think of these dishtowels?” she asked? “I married a woman that could make a decision, where did she go?” he replied. OOF. Have you tried to serve the one you love like crazy? Do you know people who have lost who God made them to be while trying to make others happy? Today’s episode of What to Say & How to Say It deals with losing your identity and how that can actually backfire in your attempt to have a good relationship.
How Blaming Others is Destroying Your Confidence | Nina Roesner | #2
