Does Submission Mean I Must Agree with Everything?
“You aren’t serious about staying with him in the hospital, are you?” he said.
“Actually, I am. I know this makes no sense to you at all, but I feel strongly led to do this. I know you think he’ll be fine in the hospital without one of us there at night – but I feel led to be there. I know this creates havoc for our family, but I have a ton of friends who will take care of the other kids, and I’ve already talked to them. Please try to understand…I need to do this,” she replied.
“I think you are being overprotective,” he said.
“You might be right. I actually hope you are, unfortunately, I sense God has a reason for me to be there,” she replied gently.
“I see,” he said.
And so it went. And the child’s surgery took place, and the mother stayed in the hospital. And when the nurse had the orders wrong, she was there and got things straightened out. When another tried to steal her son’s narcotic pain medications, she was there and stopped it. When complications arose, she was there, and helped make things better. Her son needed her. God knew that before it even happened. He told her. She was listening.
“I’m glad you were with him,” her husband later said to her. “I’m sorry I made it difficult for you.”
“It’s okay – it all worked out in the end,” she replied.
And she smiled.
Looking back, she sees a more mature faith for both her husband and herself. Mature faith that relies on another’s relationship with God, instead of stepping in the middle of it. Mature faith that runs both directions, with mutual respect and mutual love, trusting the other’s relationship with God, trusting another’s character as well.
This didn’t happen overnight.
Years earlier, in her 20’s, she stopped speaking volumes about everything. She stopped having an opinion about everything, stopped sharing it every time. She learned to hear God’s voice – and so knew when to insert herself into situations around her, and when to stay out of them.
She became a woman who spoke less, but said more. And she was respected, as a result.
She spent years learning to speak her husband’s language of respect.
She spent years figuring out who she was in Christ, and thereby making it easier for her husband to respect her.
And because she actively chose to “major in the majors” and realized that MOST disagreements were not worth having – her husband trusted her and valued her opinion. She was not perceived as a “disagreeable person” or a “contentious person” and so he had no reason to defend himself and his opinion.
Dear God, may it be so for all of us. Proverbs 12:12 says, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” May You help us all be women of noble character, wives of strength and dignity. Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” God, may we all bring glory to your name as we attempt to emulate Your Son. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit. It’s in Jesus’ name we pray. Amen and amen.
Glad you are on the journey. I love The Respect Dare journey. I plan to be on it my whole life. I love what it has done for my marriage and many others. Dare you to subscribe/follow/whatever but join us regularly! 🙂
Love to you,
~Nina
Nina,
I LOVE this! It is so true – we end up having our husband’s respect and trust, too, when we respect and trust them. And things go so much more smoothly! I believe I actually have infinitely more “power” in my marriage now than I did when I was trying to control my husband and force him to do things.
Such a beautiful story and example.
Thank you!
You nailed it, girlfriend! 🙂 A true testimony!
Love to you,
~Nina
I love this Nina. What encouragement. I too plan to be on it for life. I am so seeing and experiencing the truth in this. Thank you for your words.
Thank you, Nina, for this good article. I recently had to go through a difficult thing, and I felt led to allow my husband to lead the way through it. I was so thankful I did that — it took al lot of pressure off. It is so good to allow God to direct our steps whether to speak up or stay quiet — the peace is amazing when we let Him guide. This article is a good example of that — there is a time to say, “I think God wants me to do this.” And a time to submit. Good example!
YES. Kathie – you totally get this. If we are His ambassadors, we just need to 1) know Him, then 2) follow (obey) Him, and His plans are achieved. Good for you! What great faith. I love it. 🙂 SO glad you are here!!!
Love to you,
~Nina
Just starting to Read a really good book right now..just thought I’d share:)
‘Captivating’ by John and Stasi Eldrege.
(Not another book of what us as women are not doing and fail fail fail to do!)
🙂 Thanks, Mandy! 🙂 I think there’s so much encouragement to be found in relationship with Jesus Christ. When we KNOW Him and ARE KNOWN… it’s just so very good, it’s everything. 🙂 Glad you are here!
Love to you,
~Nina
Oh what a wise wife, in so many ways, and so inspiring! Thank you Nina for sharing. God bless you!
God is so good all the time. 🙂 You are lovely, Shanyn.
~Nina
Good Morning Dear Nina,
Oh how I love it when God uses something to confirm what he is teaching us ..
Firstly – I have been convicted – REALLY convicted – of the need to speak less and not offer my ‘opinion’ at every turn ..
and My Bible reading this very morning contained this very verse “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” …
Love the confirmation that we are walking in His way … another treasured gem that I have gleaned this week is that Love does involve sacrifice … it isn’t all fuzzy and sweet … after all … Jesus died for me …
NOW THAT IS sacrifice …
Blessings to you 🙂
Linda F
Linda –
We are all in the process of “letting God” or “fighting God” to work out our testimony… I pray all of the women who “do the dare” make such changes in their lives that the world sits back and notices – and wants what we have.
It’s a battle worth fighting.
Love to you, baby!
~Nina