Deflating Defensiveness in 2018 My marriage isn’t easy, but I married a really wounded man, he was neglected as a child, and those wounds show up in his lack of trust that anyone is ever really there for him. Without learning how to speak the language of respect and deal with his hyper-defensiveness, our marriage …
She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. (Proverbs 31:25) There are times I don’t want to be a grown up. I have three kids, a husband, a house, a ministry, and countless other responsibilities. Being a grown up is a difficult requirement of life to ignore. In …
Right now, there are just two choices: Egalitarian and Complementarian. Here’s what they mean, according to their own writings: Egalitarian: We believe in the equality and essential dignity of men and women of all ethnicities, ages, and classes. And we recognize that all persons are made in the image of God and are to reflect …
What if there was a process to change your marriage? And what if it was not only biblical, but had been proven to work? What if there was even tons of research behind it? And the method had been around for literally decades? Here’s the thing – ALL marriages have conflict. Based on what we’ve …
Right now, there are just two world-views on marriage relationships: Egalitarian and Complementarian. Here’s what they mean, according to their own writings: Egalitarian: We believe in the equality and essential dignity of men and women of all ethnicities, ages, and classes. Recognize that all persons are made in the image of God and are to …
Several years ago, I facilitated a retreat that equipped organizational leaders to effectively handle conflict. We spent a good deal of time talking about some of the behaviors of people in the organization. God used the opportunity to remind me of something. Many of the issues and problems that ALL organizations face are due to …
Negative or Positive? What do you actually DO? I mean, are we supposed to just run around giving compliments like crazy? In research done by Dr. John Gottman, we learn that marriages that are considered “happy” have a number of things in common. Here’s just a few: A complete absence of contempt 5 “positive” interactions …
There aren’t words. All I can say is that prayer is appreciated. What are the odds of taping a Focus on the Family broadcast about your parenting book in March, and then having the segment that talks about raising a challenging child air on the day of that now 29 year-old child’s memorial? As many …
Happy / Angry What really makes my heart soar, is when my husband speaks about my strengths, especially in front of others. One time during a talk, he hijacked my audience with a ten minute speech about how neat he thought I was. And presented me with a bracelet. In front of about 80 people. I’m …
What makes you defensive is often a lie Sometimes the only exercise we get is jumping to conclusions. But when we land, we will frequently land on our spouse’s heart – because all too often a conclusion can be wrong – a lie. And the Bible is pretty clear about how we are to engage in …