Ever say, “Get over it!” to yourself or others?

Why it's not helpful - and can actually hurt you and your relationships

If you’ve ever heard a parent or loved one say to you, “Get over it!” you know the emptiness that phrase dumps on you. It’s a common phrase in our individualistic Western culture, however. We think we are tough, should be tough, want to be tough, but what we are really looking for is strength, […]

Deflate Defensiveness in 2018

join us and rethink respect...

Deflating Defensiveness in 2018 My marriage isn’t easy, but I married a really wounded man, he was neglected as a child, and those wounds show up in his lack of trust that anyone is ever really there for him. Without learning how to speak the language of respect and deal with his hyper-defensiveness, our marriage […]

Dare #14 Journey – Is A Lack of Communication Destroying Your Marriage?

The horses grazed in the pasture. The drying grass crunched under my feet as I walked from the barn out to the field, eager to try the new thing I learned the day before thanks to Equus.com. Normally, my process was efficient and productive. Take the lead. Walk to the horses, maybe saying, “hello” to […]

Dare #14 of The Respect Dare

Communication When I read Dare 14 from The Respect Dare this morning again, I saw a number of things that I hadn’t seen in it before. The comments about the husband’s emotional responses, subtle as they were, stood out to me. What’s really interesting is I’m also currently studying horse communication.  I spent about half […]

Phrases that Either Open or Close His Heart

Words that make him defensive

Phrases that either open or close his heart So far we’ve learned how to get and keep our husband’s attention. Today I share several key phrases to avoid. We don’t want to sabotage the conversation by making him feel defensive! I also share a few key phrases to include in your communication that will help keep his […]

Psst… are your thoughts destroying you?

Is self-talk destroying you? Shoulders hunched over, face in a scowl, the thoughts come… “I can’t.” “I’m so lousy at this…” “I wish I’d never started…” “I want to quit.” Or maybe, like the woman in the story in Matthew 9:21, she perseveres, knowing – no, believing – for twelve years – that she will […]

5 Ways to Get Your Husband to Listen

You simply can’t get him to listen without these five things

5 Ways to Get Your Husband to Listen Situation: Maybe you can relate to this – you want to talk to your husband about the kind of car your 16 year-old wants to buy. Your husband is focused on his phone, reading the news. You bring up the topic, ask him what he thinks about it, […]