Dare #2 of The Respect Dare …

How childhood may be messing with our marriage ...

Research shows that our childhood may be messing with our marriage – and Dare #2 of The Respect Dare: 40 days to a deeper connection with God and our husband brings this to life for us all.  Given that the divorce rate is as high as it is, and most women are dissatisfied in their […]

Dare 1 of The RESPECT DARE

...how expectations may be destroying your marriage

Got expectations? They might be destroying your marriage. Sitting next to each other in the church pew at a conference for young girls and their moms, my daughter and I smiled at each other. Standing and worshiping together, we clapped hands, waved our arms, and sang our hearts out. We took notes sitting side by […]

Can I humbly ask for prayer?

I’m humbly asking for prayer… It’s not often that I highjack my blog with a prayer request.  I think the last time you saw me do this was when my husband had open heart surgery three years ago. And I don’t want to communicate fear at all. I just want to rally the troops because […]

Ever say, “Get over it!” to yourself or others?

Why it's not helpful - and can actually hurt you and your relationships

If you’ve ever heard a parent or loved one say to you, “Get over it!” you know the emptiness that phrase dumps on you. It’s a common phrase in our individualistic Western culture, however. We think we are tough, should be tough, want to be tough, but what we are really looking for is strength, […]

If you are feeling worthless or alone in your marriage…

If you are feeling worthless and alone in your marriage, I want to give you HOPE today. Even if your marriage is “okay.” Especially if your marriage is “awful.” And really if your marriage is “full of conflict,” “mean-ness,” hurt, or even verbal/emotional abuse. And I hope that if you understand what I’m about to […]

Deflate Defensiveness in 2018

join us and rethink respect...

Deflating Defensiveness in 2018 My marriage isn’t easy, but I married a really wounded man, he was neglected as a child, and those wounds show up in his lack of trust that anyone is ever really there for him. Without learning how to speak the language of respect and deal with his hyper-defensiveness, our marriage […]

Dealing with defensiveness?

Start here...

If you want to know how to deal with defensiveness, you’ll need to know the basic why’s and how’s of respect.  Here’s why: Defensiveness divides in relationships. I don’t think there’s a better place to find those answers than this radio show I did with Debbie Chavez. God used her to pull out the right […]

Dare #18 of The Respect Dare… What should she do?

In search of the male perspective...

Psychologists will tell us that the “parent-child” or “mothering” style of relating is extremely unhealthy in marriage. What IS healthiest is “adult-adult.” Unfortunately, we don’t always do that. Both men and women can be “parental” or “mothering” in a relationship and “childish.” This manifests itself in ranges of varying levels of controlling behaviors to rebelliousness, […]

Dare #17 Journey – Is a Label Messing Up Your Marriage?

Right now, there are just two choices: Egalitarian and Complementarian. Here’s what they mean, according to their own writings: Egalitarian: We believe in the equality and essential dignity of men and women of all ethnicities, ages, and classes. And we recognize that all persons are made in the image of God and are to reflect […]