Dr. John Gottman’s research out of University of Washington shows that a healthy functioning relationship needs a ratio of 20 positives for every 1 negative.

Do you know what the big data-backed positive inputs are?

If you don’t (and don’t feel bad, most people don’t) you may be going on dates that do nothing to deepen your connection… like having dinner together… super common, AND super NOT wise or helpful.

Why?

Think about the last date you had… started fine maybe but on the drive or at the restaurant, where you were both TRAPPED in seats – one of you says something that triggers the other then HERE WE GO…

And the evening is derailed.

So you believe you tried to put positives in but “It didn’t work.”

Which is the wrong assessment.

You tried the wrong thing.

There are better, proven ways to connect that don’t run the risk of blowing things up!

But if you don’t know what they are, you aren’t really working on your marriage – you are working on things that don’t work.

What kind of sense does that make?

Gottman’s research shows healthy couples have 5 positives to 1 negative IN CONFLICT. 

Do you know how to get from where you are to what that could look like?

There are steps involved.

They do NOT include sitting in a counselor’s office each week dissecting the conflict of the week. Most men feel humiliated by that experience and eventually won’t go back.

What to do instead?

FIRST: Borrow my hope.

I didn’t know any of these things either, and I’m living proof God can heal the relationship of someone who thought they had “tried everything”… we have an actual PLAN that provides the spiritual healing (actually it’s the Holy Spirit Who does the healing, btw) …

Have you been to the workshops, intensives, counselors, and are still stuck?

SECOND: Set a time to meet with me here: Calendar and let’s chat about how YOU can have hope again and what that might look like.