Standing in the coffee bar near the fireplace on a break, I poured myself a much needed cup of  the hot bitter liquid. The staff smiled at us, all couples struggling to find a reason to stay married, tossing tons of money and the last shred of hung-onto-hope into this week-long brutal marriage intensive experience.

Knowing what I did about relationships, while I appreciated the insight into the enemy’s particular scheme for our marriage, I couldn’t see how what we learned would literally change anything.

To say I was at the lowest point I had ever been would be an understatement. I’m guessing I wasn’t alone in that. 

I wasn’t sure my heart or our marriage would survive the gut-wrenching humiliation of bearing everything in front of strangers.

Wasn’t there a better way?

I noticed the music playing.  This happened to me multiple times during the week, with this specific song, but the first and every time I heard it, the awareness of “Never give up – it’s not over yet” kept hitting my heart as only the Holy Spirit can do.

God not only resurrected what I saw as a dead marriage over the course of that year – but He healed it and created something completely new. And while imperfect, I see a miracle in what has been redeemed.

Over the course of about a decade, we’d been to 7+ therapists, pastors, counselors, most of whom recommended divorce, and attended a few intensives. Thank the Lord my husband was willing to spend the money – we could have gotten divorced for much less. 

Nothing seemed to help.

We endured painful weekly meetings where we disparaged our situation, complained to a so-called expert about the problem of the week, leaving feeling worse than we did upon arrival.

We didn’t know this was further damaging our relationship.

It was supposed to be helping.

Neither of us gave up on our commitment to God, however, and we both believe Jesus raised the bar on “grounds” for divorce.

I often felt stuck, frustrated, and alone, but knew God could fix this. After doing so many things, and at the end of my pride, I tearfully begged Him to fix it.

He did.

As I look back now, years later, the realization of how SIMPLE it is to fix a marriage hits hard. Not easy, and nearly impossible when you have to find HIS Way by yourself without a guide, but still simple.

AND… it can be done WITHOUT the humiliation of exposure with an audience and in front of your spouse.

It can literally also be FUN.

That probably sounds wild but it is true.

Are you humble? Are you trying to be friends? Do you KNOW the 20:1 positive to negative input ratio for healthy marriages? Or the 5:1 DURING a conflict? Something as small as asking how your spouse’s day has been and then actually listening, or being POSITIVE when they say something versus negative or critical goes a LONG way. Simple stuff.

And if you aren’t doing those things, there IS a reason. And that CAN be healed if you are open to it. God can do that work in you if you will be open.

THAT takes a minute, but is also simple. All of this takes about six months. 

The BIG change occurred for me when I stopped blaming and instead focused on my own behavior, who I was, and Whose I was(and am). Stunning what God will do when we will look at the planks in our own eyes.

AND follow Him in a very specific spiritual, emotional, and relational HEALING process.

So I’ve been doing this work with others for years now – and maybe you need to borrow my hope. Please don’t give up – you really haven’t “done everything” until you’ve done our marriage intensive.

It’s not like anything else out there.

Its not therapy, not counseling, but rather a spiritual, emotional, relational holistic HEALING and training process based on Biblical truths, relationship with God, and solid 40+ years of DATA with 4000 couples about what actually WORKS in healthy marriages.

And it really does work – for those who put forth the effort and commit to six months of consistency with us – who we screen as a good fit, because we can’t have you blow up our group if you don’t really want to save your marriage, and I can’t in good ethics have you waste your time or the investment if I am not fairly sure we can help.

Did you know that healthy marrieds spend 6 hours on average a week working on relational things? And having fun? We know WHAT those specific positive inputs are and can help you create them if you are willing to get started with HALF of that time (3 hours a week) being with us.

For just six months.

If you aren’t willing to invest just that, well, we won’t be able to help.

However, if you are ready to take action on something that actually works with an 6 month end date, message me “hope” and let’s talk. We are starting a new group in January, still with the discount. 

Love to you,

Nina