Dare #8 of The Respect Dare – The Problem with Memories
I Remember the Time…
The lunge line was in one hand, the end of the rope in the other.
I quietly told my horse to lunge (walk a circle) around me to the left.
She did this.
Then she sprung into the air, and started to gallop.
Mane tossed in the wind.
Eyes wide. Both of ours.
Nostrils flared.
My throat tight.
Her head tosses.
Tears welled.
She’s going too fast – too much energy – too close – I can’t control her…
Terror.
Heart pounding.
Tears. Why TEARS??!?
Sigh.
I don’t know what to do.
Helpless.
Another Memory
I confide…”I feel A when B happens… and I don’t know what to do.”
He confides.
I learn something new.
Heart pounds.
Tears. Again.
I confide… “I can’t go there now… I’m not ready to talk about it. Yet.”
He understands.
We break.
And then comes Dare 8. STUPID DARE 8.
Gottman’s research reveals couples in trouble rewrite their history. They forget there were ever good times.
Spouses can’t remember a time they’ve had sex 3x in one week.
Both forget why they married each other in the first place.
Neither can remember ANYthing good.
And satan wins.
Truth Doesn’t Rewrite History. Face Fears
My horse trainer, an incredibly smart man who reads people and horses brilliantly and is truly a gift from God…he helped that day.
And I took the first step by being responsible for my fear. For my failure. For my lack of knowing.
I asked for help.
(Do you?)
I was truthful.
(Are you?)
I told him I was afraid. Nearly in tears, I told the truth to the man I barely knew but respected very much. I told him the Truth.
And I told him I was afraid.
I told him what happened.
And he took her, lunged her, rode her, and then had me do the same thing.
(Will you?)
And I wasn’t afraid in the middle.
At the beginning… YES.
OH YES! Very Afraid.
But in the middle, no.
And at the end, no.
Because we only overcome and grow in the middle of the fears we face at the moment we face them.
And that night with my Husband… Face Fears
The one where I confided in him?
Shared and was vulnerable…
(Could you?)
He listened.
And he revealed things I didn’t know about him.
22+ years of marriage plus 5 years of friendship before that…
And I learned a new thing about this man.
But for us, fear was faced, and progress made.
Because in that moment of fear, I asked myself, actually felt God asking, “What is this fear?”
And it was one I could reveal. Chose to reveal.
Even with tears.
And the relationship with the horse? And the husband?
Better.
So don’t re-write your history.
Refuse.
And pray…pray HARD… through Dare 8.
Because the enemy wants you to remember…
only the bad…
or nothing.
Refuse.
Thanks for being on the journey with me.
I am deeply wondering how these things strike you… where are YOU in this journey? Can you confide? Are you afraid to try…or are currently rewriting history yourself?
Be sure to check out today’s discussions on Family Life Today – “A Wife’s Role.”
Love to you,
Nina~
Are you trying to rewrite history with your tweens, teens, or twenty-somethings? Check out Debbie’s blog and book!
Want to see how 6 fictional wives bravely tackle their fears in Dare 8? Get your hands on Dare to Respect, a fictional novel of women who dare to dare!
Want to lead other women towards truth in marriage?
