When you’ve been wronged…
We often think that emotional injury isn’t supposed to happen in marriage, but when you’ve been wronged, or when you hurt the one you love, the Bible’s pretty clear on the course of action that is to follow:
We’ve heard it said that
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
It doesn’t happen that way.
Matthew 18 is pretty clear:
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
For further reading, here’s a great article on Gary Thomas’ website about the power of giving up the grudge.
What about you? Are you struggling with this? What power have YOU experienced with forgiveness? What keeps us “hanging on” to the grudges?
Love to you,
Here’s a few more posts you might find useful:
Why Your Husband Doesn’t Respect YOU
A WILD Story about the “N-Word” and Grace
Is Complaining Ruining Your Marriage?
How Being Defensive is Destroying Your Marriage
Six Ways to Overcome Your Husband’s Anger
How to Become a Woman of Strength & Dignity
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I am truly struggling with total forgiveness and regaining trust after my husband has repeatedely lied to me regarding alcohol and drug use. I feel that if I give in to my desire to love and forgive, I will be fooled and betrayed yet again. I have kids to protect too. What should I do? I have attended Al anon and plan to continue, but I have some hard feelings to work out.
Thank you for being transparent. Praying for you. Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud might be a good book to read. You can love and have boundaries. You can’t control what he does, but you can impact the relationship.
Love to you,
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