Wondering how to finally be happy in your marriage?
It’s not what you think…
I spent the majority of Saturday and half of Sunday lying in bed, enduring a migraine headache – it’s been well over a decade since I’ve had one, so at first I wasn’t even sure what was going on.
If you haven’t had a migraine, I assure you, it’s an event worth missing.
Your teeth hurt.
I can’t explain this, but my hair follicles also hurt. And today I have a “migraine hangover…” BLEH.
And in the midst of my complaining, His Spirit gently reminded me I had much to be thankful for, and I decided to obey and be grateful – for the pain.
Yes, I said that.
I actively chose to thank God for the pain – and for a chance to let others do for me, and for the quiet house, and for the chance to actually spend a weekend RESTING. When I looked at Dare 9 for today, I noticed it tied right in!
I could have spent the weekend fussing about all I didn’t get to do, but then I remembered what I choose to believe –
- God is omniscient and all powerful
- He allows ALL things – to work together for GOOD according to His purpose for me
- Complaining just makes others miserable and doesn’t change a single thing
- So I need to embrace my Now, and do my best to learn from it
I had many opportunities to overlook “insults” over the weekend. Everyone was quiet, but I was grumpy. Know what I mean? How the smallest of things seem like bigger things when you don’t feel well? I’m glad He grabbed my attitude early! 🙂
In the past, I might have behaved like a doormat, however, insisting I could still function instead of taking a much-needed rest and letting others pitch in. I’ve learned, however, that it’s really not honoring God to fry myself in an effort to serve others.
It’s also not honoring God to LIE – especially when everyone around you can plainly see the truth.
It’s not being selfish to sometimes say, “I can’t do this,” when we’re sick, tired, or otherwise committed.
We literally steal opportunities for others to grow and learn to serve when we do.
My husband is a much better and more creative cook than I am any day, so it’s great when he takes over!
I’ve been sick in the past and kept going – and found it nearly impossible to “overlook insults.”
In the midst of that, I’ve also lied to the people around me by saying, “I’m fine,” while I was honestly NOT.
So I’ve stopped lying.
And if you are living with teenagers, you know their emotions swing high from one extreme to another, so it is really a waste of time to get exercise by jumping to conclusions! Give them five minutes – they’ll feel something else entirely! I really liked how the woman in Dare 9 dealt with her step-son!
So today’s dare is to OVERLOOK an insult – and contrast that to showing annoyance quickly.
Do you get upset quickly and easily? Do you immediately see what is WRONG and give voice to THAT? Or are you working on seeing life through the lens of the Holy Spirit, paying attention to whatever is good, noble, right, pure, admirable, praiseworthy, excellent, etc.?
It’s painful to be around people who are negative. The complaining is contagious and it is bad for others and bad for us. Here’s a great article on the research about how complaining is damaging to both our own and other people’s health. It’s good for your soul to find ways to be grateful – that’s why the “Gratitudes” exercises are in everything we do at Greater Impact. Not only is the concept hugely talked about in the Bible, but now there’s research supporting it.
And we can finally be happy in our marriage if we start paying attention to the right things – AND stop lying to ourselves and others.
Bottom line: If we want to be happy in our families, we need to start by doing these three things:
STOP lying, and…
START paying attention to what’s good – in everything
Here’s WHY: Sin (complaint & lying) and a lack of gratitude (probably also sin) SQUELCH the Voice of the Holy Spirit. We lose His peace and His presence and can’t hear His next orders.
Love to you,
Here’s a few more posts you might find useful:
One more thing?
It’s not a small thing.
Seriously, if you lead women’s studies, and you want to do marriage ministry that makes a crazy wild lasting difference, you need to pray about joining us for Boot Camp.
We have marriage and family ministry for you – ministry that makes a difference – it’s His, but it’s amazing, and we’d love to help you grow as a leader – and make a greater impact in the neck of the woods He’s entrusted to YOU.
I’d like YOU to pray about Boot Camp – September 7-12, 2016. More info HERE. Here’s a discount coupon good for $50 off each for you AND a friend – if you use it by May 15: bringafriend2016
If you feel called to lead others, to be a Titus 2 woman of influence in your neck of the woods, please seriously consider joining us in ministry. We’re training others to use the incredible discipleship method He has given us – and He’s growing ministry all around the world as a result.