Maybe you’ve got this little secret-to-helping-your-marriage gem down solid-style, but if you don’t, if you miss this, you miss a LOT.
Kids running through the house, chasing each other, squealing like pigs.
Dog barking. Phone ringing. Pot boiling.
And he’ll be home in an hour.
To this chaos.
The messy Now you are in.
“Strength and dignity woman” (Wonder Woman-style) emerges to rescue “Crazy Mom.”
She doesn’t scream or yell at her young kids, because she wants them to listen to her without teaching them the only time to do that is when mom yells.
She steps in front of the racing little people, squats down to where they are (joining their Now), grabs one.
She falls over, giggling with them.
“I have a snack for you, but you have to super-stealth-style clean up all the toys on the floor. You have to do this without the bad guys hearing you – and you only have 14 minutes before the bomb goes off! Ready… super stealth quiet guys… go! 🙂 ”
Mother of boys, she’s got them inspired.
They lead the pack of 4 kids, two girls whispering excitedly behind the boys, gathering toys, putting away the pony castle with a sense of urgency.
“Good job!” she whispers as she sets the timer in the kitchen and finishes assembling the snack.
Oops. The pot on the stove.
Floor picked up, kids in the family room doing “book time” and loving it (because mom and dad resisted “easy” and “quick” by with-holding the screens), she finishes dinner.
His car hits the driveway an hour later, the snacked kids no longer “hangry,” the dogs start to bark with glee and she commands them, “Bed!” and they go lie down. Her husband walks in, the kids rally around him, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy!”
She smiles at him, steps out of the kitchen, wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him.
“I’m so glad you’re back!” she says, smiling again. “All done!” she tells the dogs.
Kids out of the way, the golden retrievers do their version of the “happy dance.”
Husband smiles. Kisses and hugs her back.
He sits down at the couch, takes off his shoes and socks. One of the dogs buries her nose in a sock, looking lovingly at him.
She knows he needs a few minutes of quiet, so she calls the kids to the kitchen and distributes the chores for setting the table.
They get busy.
The timer goes.
Dinner is ready. On the table.
“Come and eat, baby. How was your day?” she asks.
And so it goes…
small things = big things
when done consistently over time.
In the decade + years we’ve been ministering to wives, we come into contact with many husbands. I’ve personally asked more than a few how much the “greeting at the end of the day” matters. Regardless of who is walking in the door, literally 100% of the men say it matters.
Most of them give me this LOOK and say something like, “Oh. Yeah, that matters. A lot.”
One pastor gave me the LOOK, and said, “It’s a HUGE deal – for most men. Like it counts for about 20% of how a man feels about his wife and his marriage.”
When I was little, we used to cheer when my dad would come home from work – he liked everyone riled up, including the dogs. I’ve heard a bazillion variations on the theme, but it usually boils down to just a few similar things:
- Enthusiastically & intentionally notice him upon at the end of the day (whatever that looks like to him)
- Have things “under control” as much as possibly by planning ahead
- Give him a few moments to mentally shift gears and be in the Now with family
- Don’t dump a laundry list of complaints on him (or the kids! LOL) but be part of the peaceful environment
- Know it matters to him
What about you? What do you do? What does your husband like? Did you grow up with that? If you’re the one coming home, what do you do to connect?
Can’t wait to hear from you today! 🙂
Love to you,
PS… I haven’t forgotten – if you want my response to the “submission = obey” post from last week, check the comments section on the post. 🙂 MANY thank you’s to the wise and well thought-out responses from you! 🙂
If you are interested, here’s a few of my favorites on the whole “submission” topic:
The secret of submission (my favorite)
We’ll have more of the new dare journey this week, too. 🙂
If you’ve received this via email from a friend who cares about you and your marriage, know you can sign up on the sidebar. You’ll get a copy of the ebook, “101 Ways to Respect Your Husband” and tips for marriage from our Daughters of Sarah course.
Want more? Do the Respect Dare experience with an online group in the eCourse. 🙂