What Are YOU Waiting For?
My mind was elsewhere, and I looked at her. I saw my friend and coworker’s mouth moving, and couldn’t answer the question she was asking.
It was something about upcoming possibilities with the ministry, but because it was a future situation, all I could think about was how dramatically different things might be…if my husband dies.
I took a deep breath, and said, “I’m so sorry. I have no idea what you just said. I haven’t been listening. I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this, but it’s clouding everything. Last night, he went out to buy dog food, and I thought, ‘Will it kill him to lift that?’ and…”
And then my heart filled my throat.
The tears welled.
My nose burned.
I put my face in my hands, trying to protect her from the sorrow and fear leaking out around my edges.
She got up from the table, walked over to me, and put her arms around me.
“It’s okay to cry,” she said.
“I just can’t right now,” I responded. “I have a meeting in half an hour, and I can’t start something that will last a while.”
The week before, the tears didn’t stop for hours. And I confess, I would rather be thinking about getting ready for the holidays than wondering if we’ll be spending them in a hospital.
The theme of the now we’re in seems to be “WAIT.”
We hoped to hear today or tomorrow what the surgeon thought about the latest test result – and when to schedule the surgery.
Instead, last night we found out that the records haven’t even been sent yet.
Moments of anger, fear, you name it…
So instead of having an answer this week, we have another full week to wait.
I don’t know about you, but I’m lousy at waiting. I’m better at it than I used to be, however.
I realize that God will often give you a dream, and then make you wait for it to come to fruition. Think through the Hebrews “hall of fame” passages – Hebrews 11.
Look at the wait God had for most of them.
Not much is said about it, either.
But the two most powerful words in the passage that communicate volumes to me are these: “By faith…“
By faith, they waited. By faith, moment to moment, in the minutia of the moments, those who are praised in the Bible are men and women of great faith.
And many of those minutia moments are tiny decisions, hundreds of times in a day, to battle back the fear, and choose faith instead.
This is what it means to walk in the Spirit.
We need to remember that the journey is a marathon – not a sprint.
This is how strength rises as we wait upon the Lord.
Isaiah 40:28-31 ESV
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is he everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; is understanding is unsearchable. 29 He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. 30 Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; 31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Notice the walking and the running – implying some respite – and we are strong (in His strength) when we are weak.
I’m not striving for being awesome, however. I’m just trying to walk this leg of the journey well. I want to represent Him well in the midst of this Now. What does that look like? I wish I knew.
Am I waiting well? I don’t even know. I’m spending time with God, friends, family. I’m staying busy in the waiting because there is much to do (Daughters of Sarah launching in January, website upgrade, and too many writing projects going on). The thing that seems to help the most is being in His Word every chance I get, whether from an online devotional, or extended time reading.
Prayers are appreciated.
I feel like I’m daring us all to wait well.
What about you? Are you in a period of waiting?
What have you found that helps?
Would love to hear from you today. 🙂
Love to you,
Prayer and the Word and close Christian friends that are safe! Hugs from God also help!
Dear Nina,
May God continually be gracious to you, as He is being to me, as we learn to “walk by faith and not by sight.” It is a very hard lesson for me which may be why God gives me so many learning opportunities. I’m praying for you, your husband and your family. Have a blessed holiday.
I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through. Waiting is not easy but I think it tests our faith and increases it. I do not always wait well but I’m learning to trust God’s timing and His perfect plan.
My husband has been waiting for a much anticipated promotion and his wait is also my wait. Right now I do my best to encourage and support him so he can see beyond the wait, that God has everything in place for him and things will happen on His time because he sees beyond what is apparent to us.
Know that you and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong as you are doing, finding comfort and wisdom in God’s word. May his sweet embrace be with you always.
I want to say a special thanks to all the ladies that posted poems and verses about waiting on the Lord. I obviously needed the reminder! I push and push to try to make things MY WAY instead of heeding what He has already promised me… BUT I HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT! LOL…
Thank you sisters.
Praying for you and your family Nina.
John Piper wrote, “To wait! That means to pause and soberly consider our own inadequacy and the Lord’s all-sufficiency and to seek counsel and help from the Lord. . . The folly of not waiting for God is that we forfeit the blessing of having God work for us. The evil of not waiting for God is that we oppose God’s will to exalt Himself in mercy. God aims to exalt Himself by working for those who wait for Him.” 1
Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart (Psalm 27:14).
Problems patiently endured will work for our spiritual perfecting.
A. W. Tozer
1John Piper, Desiring God (Colorado Springs: Multnomah WaterBrook Publishing Group, 2003), 170.
Nina, I am praying for you, Jim and the kids. When I waited for four years–through fertility treatments, miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy–for our sweet baby to finally arrive, I found some comfort in this poem. I hope you will, too.
WAIT
(Taken from “Follow Me!” by Russell Kelfer, copyright 1995.
Published by Discipleship Tape Ministries, Inc., and Into His Likeness Publications.
Used by permission.)
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied.
I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”
“Wait? You say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why.
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
“My future, and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me ‘wait’?
I’m needing a ‘yes,’ or a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no,’ to which I can resign.
“And Lord, you have promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receiv.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this in my cry:
I’m weary of asking: I need a reply!”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God; “So I’m waiting, for what?”
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, darken the sun,
Raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.
“All you see I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust, just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence was all you could see.
“You would never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth and the beat of my heart.
“The glow of My comfort late in the night’
The faith that I give when you walk without sight;
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinate God who makes what you have last.
“And you never would know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
Yes, your dreams for that loved one o’ernight could come true,
But the loss! if you lost what I’m doing in you.
“So be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all…is still…wait.”
Love,
Laura
Waiting… I have been waiting five years for my husband to come back from his prodigal journey. God has promised he would. The waiting is the hardest but when I get weak, I turn to God’s word to give me strength. My “go to” verses right now are Exodus 14:14, The Lord will fight for you, You need only be still and Psalm 46:10, Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. He has sent those to me so often when I began to worry or get angry because the wait has been long. Praying for you and your family Nina.
Mmmm…so sorry you are in a five year wait… THAT is hard. And I love the verses. Thank you so much for sharing them with me. 🙂
Love to you,
~Nina
Prayers for you and your family..
I am stuggling with the minutia moments right now.. I thought I was doing well.. but the last month I have noticed a decline in my husband’s loving behavior toward me. I didn’t know why, and instead of looking at myself, I went into attack mode… I would ask him what his problem was… start little squabbles over nothing.. I allowed him to take on more house chores than I know he is OK with doing..
Last night and the night before we had some significant arguments.. He was able to express to me that he felt I had been picking fights and being disrespectful of him to an increased level as it was before and it is hard for him to stay loving me when I act that way… That broke me! I lost it and started crying.. which he hates, but I was able to tell him how sorry I was and that I don’t want him to feel that way and when he does I hurt because I don’t like to hurt him.. I could tell he was still upset this morning… I didn’t bring anything up, just kissed him goodbye before I left for the day. He told me he loved me and that is about all I can ask for until he again sees that I am serious about respecting him.
So often it is two steps forward, and one step back, isn’t it? And sometimes three steps back. UGH. I get this – and it IS hard. Good for you for pursuing righteousness, and more of Him in you. 🙂
Love to you,
~Nina
Thank you Nina, for sharing. Praying for you and your family. Thinking of Psalm 23..
“The LORD is my Shepard”….Who? Jehovah Rohi, Jehovah Nissi, Jehovah Jirah, Jehovah Rapha, Jehovah Shalo and Jehovah Tsidkenu…What? Shepherding…His protective care.
“Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”.
“I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
I can’t help but think that this so aptly describes where you are walking…in the SHADOW of death.
God be praised it is just a shadow! Praise God his medical needs were found out!
HE is with you.
Rehearse this Psalm in your heart.
I will pray that God will comfort with His promise.
Love your Sister in the Lord,
Beth
Beth – you are SO RIGHT. That’s the one thing I keep clinging to, is that we even know. That knowledge hopefully buys us time – and a future. And yes, it does feel like death’s shadow is all around. I don’t dwell there, but fear licks around the edges of my periphery…May we always look toward The Light, and not the shadows, and worse yet, death.
I love the “rehearse this Psalm in your heart,” because it is my heart where this battle rages. More Truth and fewer lies stored there bring blessing and hope itself.
Love to you,
~Nina
Been waiting a long time. I see God answering prayers in the wait. I’m studying Jeremiah now, thought you could relate to this:
Jeremiah 15:16 When I discovered your words, I devoured them. They are my joy and hearts delight, for I bear your name, oh Lord God of heaven’s host.
YES. I love devouring the Word, instead of being devoured by the enemy. The Book breathes life into my parched soul. I’m so glad you are seeing answers – I feel shielded from this area, mainly because He’s so clear about so many other things…and that in and of itself requires more trust on my part. More faith. By Faith style.
Love to you,
~Nina
Prayers continue for you and your family!
Thank you, Kim. 🙂
Glad you are here!
Love to you,
~Nina
Im not sure Im waiting well but I have glimpses of it sometimes. I find that as you said the waiting seems to go by faster by spending time in The Word. I revert to psalms and proverbs when I don’t know where else to go. Although recently my go to has been to Ruth because I feel like she waited well for Gods plans for her life.
Thank you for sharing your heart and know that I am praying for you!
Thank you for your prayers – Ruth is a great example. Psalms are like air and water to me right now. Gosh. Do you know how glad I am that you are here?
Love to you,
~Nina