101 Things A Husband Can DO to Show Love to His Wife
“Hey, I just want to tell you something,” he said, motioning me to come closer.
I noticed he had tears in his eyes.
My heart started to pound.
I barely knew this man.
He was the wife of a friend.
Not a good friend, mind you, but a friend.
And I was a little nervous.
“Yes?” I smiled, not knowing what he was going to say.
“I can’t believe the changes in my wife. She’s always been amazing, but she’s so much more supportive and encouraging. Thank you for doing this class.” He paused…
“And somehow she makes me want to be a better man. Do you have a class for that?” he said.
I literally couldn’t breathe. I didn’t have a clue what to say to him.
“No, not now, but our ministry might, sometime in the future, we’ll keep you posted,” I said. “Any good you see is all God, by the way. I’m trying to stay out of His way!”
And then the emails started coming…
There was a mix – many from men who were hurting, many from men whose wives were different who wanted help becoming a “better man” or “loving her better” and I had nothing for them. So, I made this list of 101 Things a Man Can DO to Show Love to His Wife.
And the responses surprised me. It seemed like they all fit into one of these categories:
- Women or men who were offended that I would “teach men” (good grief :P)
- Women who wanted to complain that their husbands didn’t do the things on the list (I tell the gals NOT to read it, why go looking for reasons to be unhappy? To compare is to despair.)
- Men who were thankful to have something tangible they could do – which was the point.
Obviously I wrote it for the 3rd category.
And God seems to be adding men to our ministry activities – we’ll keep you posted as things start to grow. Debbie writes for both moms and dads on her blog – (you should totally subscribe!), we may have a marriage course for couples someday, and next week I’ll have a guest post from a male counselor we like working with.
But today, I’m sending you the list – NOT to be sent to your husband, btw, but maybe for you to share with a husband you know is struggling, or the men in your couples small group. And sometime this year, we’ll have a texting feature for you, so as a guy, you can get a small daily reminder of a thing you can do.
Let me know if you think that’s a good idea or not, K? And if you are around on Tuesday next week and are female, know you are invited to be part of our studio audience – and thanks to a special donor, we now have coffee!!
Praise Jesus. 🙂
Love to you,
My wife left me about a year ago, and she divorced me earlier this year. I believe I was a good husband, but I want to be a great husband the next time around. When I get married again, I want to really light her fire, and keep her fire burning.
Thank you very much for telling it like it is, so that a guy like me, who REALLY wants to make his wife feel special, can actually do it!
I am a wife and didn’t read through your list so I don’t know what is on it, but if you could add this if it isn’t already there for husbands: let your wife know she comes before the children. My husband has made it very clear to me that our children come first in his life. All our time and energy are centered on them. I definitely feel like a second class person – the cook, maid, and chauffeur. I respect his desire to be what he feels is a “great dad,” but I struggle with self worth and loneliness.
I think that it is easy for husbands to find themselves in a rut romantically. If something seems to work, then we have the tendency to repeat it and it ultimately becomes less meaningful. I always appreciate learning different ways to express how I feel about my wife in ways that are meaningful to her….that speak her language. I am grateful for your ministry.
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