You may have heard about “submission” of late in the media. A few weeks ago, I wrote about an author in Italy who is taking a ton of heat for writing about “Get Married and Be Submissive” and here in the states this week, we see this from Hollywood.
Enjoy! We’ll have more on The Respect Dare journey tomorrow! And Monday, we’ll share links to the Family Life Ministries radio show I did with Dennis Rainey.
Dare you to share today about YOUR perception or experience of the word, “submission!”
Glad you are here!
Love to you,
I would like a wife who submits to me. But I absolutely do not want a brainless doormat. I would never marry someone like that.
To me, submission means that she will be my trusted advisor. She will advise me in all areas of life, because I will seek her counsel on everything. And I will share what is going on in my life with her, so that I can benefit from her friendship, her counsel, her empathy, and her help. And after I have listened to her and considered what she says, should I choose to do something that is not in accord with her counsel, she will respect my decision.
In order for me to be able to confide in her, I will need to be able to trust her completely. Prov. 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband safely trusts her.” I was unable to trust my first wife. Trustworthiness will be paramount in any future possibility of a serious relationship.
Being submissive to my husband allows me to have an opinion, but I don’t have to be the Boss all the time, or carry all the responsibilities. I have learned over 30 years (!)to trust him and to trust God more. Whats hardest for me is being patient when he doesn’t act right away…I’m a do-er and like to “get-r-done” but he takes his time. Its all good. But ultimately God will hold HIM responsible for our family, not me, so I try to guide and support, not lead and coerce.
This culture has warped girls. I grew up in the late 80’s and 90’s. The height of the “Girl Power” movement.. I used to think that being the boss and being a bad A** or a Bi*** was cool and the way to get ahead. My husband when we met thought it was kinda cute the way I talked to other men and put them in their place so to speak.. After years of marriage and him getting the lion’s share of my attitude his feelings have changed.. While he still thinks its kinda cute when he sees tough girls, he does not want this in his wife. He has not said to me EVER, “I want you to change”. But I have learned over the last year to listen to him better and watch his physical reactions to me. What I saw and heard hurts. I have beat down this wonderful man. This past year our marriage has been rocked with lies and infidelity on both sides. We are currently trying to work things out, but he is not in the place with GOd that I am.. He is still very much “in the world”. I pray that God is able to draw him close again. I pray that I can let go of my fear and that Dan will again be the man I once knew who loved me SOOO much.
Tiffanie, God is pleased that you have seen the error of your ways, and that you are trying to change. When I have hurt someone, or done something wrong, and then realize what I have done, it hurts. But that hurt causes you to really understand that you need to change, and it motivates you to do the right thing from here on.
From this point forward, do your very best to work things out with your husband. God will be pleased if you do that.
A prayer that I am praying these days, with which I have seen tremendous results, is, “God, I cannot do this thing (whatever it is you are struggling with); please help me to do your will in this situation.” God has helped me with things that I struggled with forever, since I have been praying along those lines!
A verse of scripture for you: Hebrews 4:14-16 — Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we ar, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” In short, Jesus was tempted to do what you have done, but He didn’t do it. He therefore understands the temptations we are facing, and He will help us when we are faced with temptations of whatever sort!
I think the feminist movement has made being submissive into being walked all over and sadly as Christians very few of us have stepped up to try and change that. I applaud her for stepping out. Many in women who have the fame and clout to take the stance and be heard are the ones fighting for “women’s rights”. As a biblically submissive wife I don’t feel cheated or walked on at all but my voice would never be heard. I also think that there are many men out there who don’t know Christ who use this to abuse women. Sadly those people also get the media attention.
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