In the Respect Dare E-Course recently, a wife told the story of how she continued doing things that she found enjoyable throughout her marriage.
She joined her husband in his interests, but then she also made time to pursue her own.
She felt fulfilled.
I found her extremely smart. So much so that I had to share what she said with you today.
I am blown away by her wisdom – we wives often give up the things that made us interesting people in the first place, all in the name of misguided “sacrifice.” Yes, we are called to serve, be unselfish, live lives full of freedom, care for the home, love well, be your husband’s friend, a good mother to the children, etc. (see Titus 2:3-5 for more), but God isn’t the only one who loves a cheerful giver, and unfortunately, we feed the fires of resentment when we forget to take care of ourselves.
And suddenly, we wake up one day, surprised at finding ourselves no longer the women we were when we got married, our identity invisible amidst the lives of the people around us.
And all too often, our families suffer. Our husbands may no longer find us interesting (most men want a life partner, not just someone to provide them with sex and a sandwich), and our kids might begin to believe mom’s role is that of maid. And that’s it.
And some part of us dies on the inside, because we’re not living out the uniqueness of His creation within us.
Yes, be one in marriage, but both be whole, be who He made you to be.
In reading Proverbs 17 this morning, I wondered if we could avoid much of the “strife” if we remembered that while we are “one,” we are also individuals. The healthiest marriages that I’ve seen are those where identity isn’t derived by some other person’s definition, but rather, two complete people, both receiving their identity from Christ, coming together to reflect the relationship Christ has with His church (see Ephesians 5:22-33 for more). These marriages really do exist, and I’m glad we’re on the journey toward becoming like them.
Dare you to share, comment, or “subscribe” today, double dog dare you to post what your personal passion is…
As for me… it’s horses. What’s yours? Seriously – I’d love to know. I’m also interested in your reaction to something… I’m considering doing a monthly or weekly conference call thing… I get so many questions via email, Facebook, Twitter, etc., I just feel awful that I don’t have time to respond to them all. Would you be interested in joining me for something like that? And if so, would you consider a small donation to help fund it? I found out today it will cost a minimum of $120 a year to do something like this. Got thoughts? I’m listening.
Love to you,