Some of us are blessed by our husband’s having a relationship with God, or at the very least, believing in Him. Others are not so blessed. Whatever your circumstances, however, remember our Lord holds all your tears as precious. We are privileged to hear from a beautiful woman named, Falen. She first and foremost calls herself a child of God, a wife, mom, legal assistant, 5-Ker, geocacher, fanatical daughter, coffee addict and perpetual dieter. I totally relate to her. Falen also has experience in respecting a husband who does not believe. You can read more about her story where she blogs regularly over at Upward Not Inward. You should totally subscribe to her. She’s wise, mature, and persevering and awesome in her humility.
You will never hear me say it is easy to respect a husband who does not have a heart for Christ.
There are many moments where it doesn’t feel worth it. There are times I feel like I’m the only one that cares. He gets his cake and eats it too while I continue to sacrificially serve.
Right here is where the inward focus can take control – making this all about me – using daggers of unfairness and swords of self-pity on myself welcoming a festival of self-inflicted spiritual wounds…
In those times of doubt, pain, heartache, or even feelings of being invisible I can be reminded why I persevere, why love is the high road, why sacrificial service is worth it, and shift my focus upward to the God who heals, comforts, redeems, rescues, and makes new.
The more I focus on Christ, the more I can respect my unbelieving husband.
While it may appear as if “he gets his cake and eats it too,” the truth is his cake is a one way ticket to death.
Respecting him is offering him something greater, showing him a better option, being a piercing light in the darkness.
I know what you are thinking. I’ve been that girl who sits in the back or behind her computer screen, rolls her eyes, and thinks, “but you don’t know what I have to deal with” or “you don’t know my husband and what a jerk he is.” In fact, I’ve even thought and prayed, “God, I am not Jesus. How many times do I have to forgive him?” I can’t respect a repeat offender.
God fills me when I’m empty. God reminds me of my worth and royalty in Him. God shows me this limitless love that once I even think I begin to grasp it exponentially multiplies. God reaches down and helps me back up onto my feet, reminds me I’m precious and purposed for great and amazing deeds, and fills me with a strength I could never conjure on my own. Knowing I, myself, am a repeat offender and the repeat grace and repeat forgiveness I receive never fails to show me I should extend the same to my husband.
I don’t do it for me and my glory. I do it for God and His glory out of an overflow of this ridiculous grace that I, too, have been gifted.
I can’t dwell on the greatness of God and the negative in my marriage at the same time. It’s one or the other.
I choose. You choose.
Focus inward or focus upward.
My good friend says: “Lift up your head Princess, if not your crown will fall.”
If he loved me the way Christ loved the church as he is called to, would it be easier to respect him? Yes. But, if he was a God honoring man, would I be as dependent on God during this season of my life?
For all the wives out there growing weary, feeling like it would be better to leave, feeling like things will never change, feeling like it is all for not…
Know there is purpose in the heartbreak. God’s word never returns void. You are more than a conqueror. Victory is yours. Do not sit idly by, pacifying your flesh by retaliating with disrespect. Keep on the offense, stand firm in the truth of God, and being active in your respect. You are not alone. Your God is bigger than the problems you face. I promise He is.