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What to Say & How to Say It – speak up, be heard, DEEPLY CONNECT with God, yourself, & others

June 24, 2014 / Avoid Divorce

What are You Bringing?

“You don’t really mean that. I wish you’d stop saying it,” he said, scowling.

She paused.

She’d just spent five minutes telling her husband several reasons why she married him all those years ago. She listed off the character traits he’d had when they’d first got married, shared with him what they meant to her then, and how they were still present now.

He seemed uncomfortable.

It wasn’t the reaction she was looking for.

But it was one she understood. She used to have a hard time accepting compliments. She doubted the sincerity of the giver. She listened to the voice of the enemy. Today, however, she listened to the Giver of Life. In Him, she saw her husband as a man with his own wounding in deep need of encouragement. Her heart softened as she remembered how she struggled with wrapping her identity up in the wrong things, needing to wrap it up in what God had to say, instead.

It’s what her husband was doing now. Years ago, the temptation to wound him back would have surfaced, licking around the edges of the pain of a difficult marriage. Instead, she had overcome the habit of listening to lies by God’s grace and daily time with Him.

Proverbs 15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit, came to mind.

She put her hand on his shoulder. “You can refuse the truth if you like,” she answered gently, “But know that God reminded me of these things, so it’s really Him you are arguing with and not listening to. You’re a good man. I’m glad I married you.”

Smiling, she leaned in and kissed his cheek.

She got up and left him to chew on what she had said.

She felt the Father’s pleasure, having been used by Him to love on her husband.


How about you? Have you done this dare from The Respect Dare book? How did you handle your own expectations? Did God reveal something to you about your husband?

A family is made in the minutia of the moments of a day.

Dare you to walk on holy ground as you create the life you want, moment to moment, with His help, following His advice. Double dog dare you to spend time with Him right now, by listening to His counsel in Proverbs 15. Dare you to do it again tomorrow, but with 16.

So glad you are along for the journey!

Love to you,

~Nina

 


 

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3 Commments

  1. shanyns says:
    May 15, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    Have done this, and yes the first few times the reaction was not what I hoped for. But now when I share my love in this way I can see God opening his heart to believe the truth – that he is a good and Godly man whom I adore and respect. Love this post.

  2. Jen says:
    May 15, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    Love this dare!!! Now leading my third group through the respect dare and still love it, at first my hubby reacted much like this husband…now he looks forward to it and gets funny and acts all cocky in a fun way about it! Lol

    1. Nina Roesner says:
      May 15, 2013 at 10:00 pm

      Stellar! 🙂 LOVE your testimony! I’m sure it encourages those who are facing the same thing. 🙂
      You are just beautiful.
      Love to you,
      ~Nina

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