“You aren’t serious about staying with him in the hospital, are you?” he said.
“Actually, I am. I know this makes no sense to you at all, but I feel strongly led to do this. I know you think he’ll be fine in the hospital without one of us there at night – but I feel led to be there. I know this creates havoc for our family, but I have a ton of friends who will take care of the other kids, and I’ve already talked to them. Please try to understand…I need to do this,” she replied.
“I think you are being overprotective,” he said.
“You might be right. I actually hope you are, unfortunately, I sense God has a reason for me to be there,” she replied gently.
“I see,” he said.
And so it went. And the child’s surgery took place, and the mother stayed in the hospital. And when the nurse had the orders wrong, she was there and got things straightened out. When another tried to steal her son’s narcotic pain medications, she was there and stopped it. When complications arose, she was there, and helped make things better. Her son needed her. God knew that before it even happened. He told her. She was listening.
“I’m glad you were with him,” her husband later said to her. “I’m sorry I made it difficult for you.”
“It’s okay – it all worked out in the end,” she replied.
And she smiled.
Looking back, she sees a more mature faith for both her husband and herself. Mature faith that relies on another’s relationship with God, instead of stepping in the middle of it. Mature faith that runs both directions, with mutual respect and mutual love, trusting the other’s relationship with God, trusting another’s character as well.
This didn’t happen overnight.
Years earlier, in her 20’s, she stopped speaking volumes about everything. She stopped having an opinion about everything, stopped sharing it every time. She learned to hear God’s voice – and so knew when to insert herself into situations around her, and when to stay out of them.
She became a woman who spoke less, but said more. And she was respected, as a result.
She spent years learning to speak her husband’s language of respect.
She spent years figuring out who she was in Christ, and thereby making it easier for her husband to respect her.
And because she actively chose to “major in the majors” and realized that MOST disagreements were not worth having – her husband trusted her and valued her opinion. She was not perceived as a “disagreeable person” or a “contentious person” and so he had no reason to defend himself and his opinion.
Dear God, may it be so for all of us. Proverbs 12:12 says, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” May You help us all be women of noble character, wives of strength and dignity. Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” God, may we all bring glory to your name as we attempt to emulate Your Son. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit. It’s in Jesus’ name we pray. Amen and amen.
Glad you are on the journey. I love The Respect Dare journey. I plan to be on it my whole life. I love what it has done for my marriage and many others. Dare you to subscribe/follow/whatever but join us regularly! 🙂
Love to you,