The feeling tightens your chest, while thickening your throat.
You stand, perplexed, by the insensitivity of the man you married.
How could he say/do/think such a thing about you/the kids/your motives?
Or maybe it’s a snarky biting comment from your mother, sister, or a girlfriend.
What do you do?
Are you silent?
Are you angry?
Do you react and hurt back, or do you respond?
Do you want to, but don’t know how to without causing even more heartache?
Feel trapped, wanting to change things, but just don’t know how?
It is likely you grew up in a household where conflict seldom, if ever, reached healthy resolution and more commonly was avoided altogether or resolved in damaging ways. This is one of the reasons The Respect Dare invites God to reveal His Truth in your life early in the book.
Destined to repeat the same unhealthy patterns without awareness and intervention, the upcoming generation misses out on the teaching of becoming intimate through resolving differences well, failing too in the healing process of apology and forgiveness.
Grudges are kept because conflict unresolved leaves a gaping wound of a door open on the issue.
There’s never a sense of, “We’re all good together again…” but rather, “I better walk on eggshells…” because we don’t know where we stand.
Maybe you were taught that the “silent treatment” is what submissive and respectful wives did.
Maybe you were taught that yelling or exploding was how conflict was handled.
Maybe in your house, calling people names, demeaning them, and telling them to “shut up!” was the solution.
Or maybe it was even worse than that.
Maybe everyone just pretended there were no issues…
Next week, I’ll be sharing a story about healthy resolution.
For today, I am just daring you to be brave. Dare you to ask God how conflict happened in your home. Was it resolved well? Was it avoided? Were you or one of your parents ever afraid? Double dog dare you to ask Him how this impacts your relationships today – it’s likely that it does. Triple dog dare you to share with us here about what He reveals to you.
The bottom line? Conflict is inevitable. Resolved well, it strengthens and deepens relationships. Resolved poorly or avoided, conflict brings resentment, bitterness, and destruction to relationships.
Glad you are on the journey! There’s life abundant here.
It’s why He came.
Love to you,