When Your Husband Sins Against You… Part 3
Our story about the wife confronting her husband’s sin is taking a brief detour… I feel as though it is important to steep ourselves in the Scriptures before moving forward. Please take a look at this page on our site (When it Doesn’t “Work,”) and especially at the comments below it. The question you need to ask yourself (and consider yourself officially invited to the dialogue) is, “Is it Scriptural for a Biblical and godly wife to confront her husband’s sin against her?” In our opinion, it is – but only after she has dealt with her major areas of sin herself, and is able to see her husband the way God does, approaching in love and with forgiveness. We believe that submission does not negate this. Do you? She is also to realize that she will continue to sin, and needs to apologize when she does. It would be nice if he would do that, too, but he is responsible for his journey with God, not her. Please contribute your thoughts on that page, respectfully, and supported with Scripture.
SO glad you are here!
Love to you,
~Nina
It is a simple concept, my relationship with God is mine, my husband’s is his. The difficulty for me comes from years of living a life with strings attached, nothing is free in this world, I remember as a child. And the things I faced as a child taught me that there is always a cost for everything, including love. It will be by the grace of God alone that my mind is transformed not to keep score anymore, to actually accept that someone may love me and I don’t owe him anything for that love. And even though I intellectually know that I can not make my husband love me, the wrong thinking still goes on in my mind, because I continue to beat myself up because I am not perfect. Wind myself into knots trying to always keep him happy, because any sign of disappointment in my mind means he doesn’t love me. I realize how ridiculous this sounds, but if that is all I was ever taught, it is unreasonable for me to expect to change that thought process over night. I know I want to, and I work at it, but so often those things that are imprinted into our minds at a very early age and for years to follow are not easily undone. I apologize for this appearing so negative, but I wanted to be honest, I can’t be the only woman out there that learned that everything has strings attached, that you will always owe someone, that you can never do enough to get out of that continuous debt so to feel any need or express any need was dangerous, because what might I be asked to pay? I am working daily to accept God’s grace and mercy. I know that all my sin has been covered by the blood of Jesus. But each day I must renew my mind so that I don’t let go of that precious FREE gift, for someone like me it is difficult to fathom that anyone would love me for free.
Donna –
You are right, and there is so much power in the Word! 🙂 And believe me, I get it! 🙂 You might be a “pleaser” – I understand this personality all too well! 🙂 Here’s a resource that might help you over come some of those tendancies: http://howwelove.com/love-styles/ Persevere, dear heart! You are renewing your mind and He is faithful. It is hard work, but worth doing. 🙂
Love to you,
~Nina