Most of the husbands of the wives who do The Respect Dare or take Daughters of Sarah® tell us the same thing: “I am inspired to be a better man because of what she has learned to do for me.”
And on occasion, a husband has also been known to ask, “How can I better express love to my wife?” In an effort to help these men, we have put together this list, derived from wives whose husbands have begun demonstrating love more effectively, and from some of the wives on our community page on Facebook®. Feel free to add your own ideas here if you like. 
I created this page for them and wanted to share it with you. 🙂 Enjoy! Also, for those of you who are following the new book, I’ll have another chapter up next week, and then we are done – not because the book is finished, but because time constraints have me pressed to go back to blogging the way I was and finish the book project outside of that. Those of you who blog know what I mean. 🙂
So here is the page with the 101 ways… Have fun! 🙂
Dear Nina,
I read your article and it is really beautiful and it works.
Thank you,
Regards,
Uday Sane
my wife an I read these lists together, because at our group meeting, someone brought it up. It was said that you did not approach the writing in a Christian like way, because a wife wants respect too.
others and my wife, see an imbalance in the two lists. You wrote things for the husband to do for the wife as if she was a 5 year old and the list you created for the wife to do for her husband, was too long with lengthy sentences that suggests the wife has to exalt her husband,
As a Christian woman, why are you so hard on wives? Why can’t the list be very similar. A woman should be treated with the same practices, or do you not think so. My wife got really upset by this list and the whole group( over 19 of us. Rethink your approach to this.
I’m really sorry to have upset your wife. And I apologize for the brevity of the list for the husbands – I was following the research that indicates the majority of men appreciate brevity and conciseness.
I am sorry the list comes off as treating women as 5 year olds – both of these were made from reader suggestions about what they would experience as love. I’m so sorry the lists offended you and your wife and your group. I’ve never received feedback like this about these writings, and honestly, I am a bit surprised by it. Actually, I am sitting here in tears at the thought I have written something characterized as un-Christian. I don’t know how I could have prefaces the list for men any better, where it talks about respecting their wives. I feel awful about this.
I feel awful that the explanations made your wife feel as though she has to exalt you and that you feel I treated women as 5 year olds. This is the opposite of what is true, so I am just sorry to have mis-communicated at this level.
The Bible tells wives to submit to their husbands and to respect them. It tells husbands to love their wives and to respect them. I did explain a few of the suggestions for the wives better – over 2/3rds of divorces are filed by women, so I thought it would be helpful to share what they could do and why it mattered.
I’m a woman, and I deal with literally hundreds of women in various stages of marital dissatisfaction. Sounds like you and your wife are doing really well, however, so I don’t recommend anything I’ve written to either of you.
Something that might help you understand that men and women are different, even if it sounds like you and your wife are offended by the notion: http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat , http://www.ted.com/talks/paula_johnson_his_and_hers_healthcare , and http://ninaroesner.com/why-respect/ .
And again, I’m sorry to have offended you. I wrote the lists because people asked me for specific, tangible things to do. I suppose if you are not in a place where your marriage needs that information, it might be offensive, and it is not my intention to upset you or your wife or your group.