“So we were walking through their house, and the wife was showing me all the lovely decor…it was SO much nicer than the rat-trap we live in…”
He cringed…ever so slightly…
His brow furrowed… just a bit.
“And I can’t believe we’ve crammed three kids into two bedrooms! They had three kids in three separate bedrooms AND a spare guest room. You need to get another job…” she says, glancing his way.
The little vein in the side of his cheek twitched, a result of teeth clenching as his wife verbally shattered the image he had of himself as a half-way decent provider…as a man…it’s only her opinion he cared about…and once again, he not only failed to delight, but disappointed.
Have you ever been her? Maybe not with those same words, but have you ever cut down your husband in front of others?
I wish I could say I haven’t.
I wish I could take back some of the things I’ve said.
Someone always has it “better” or “worse” than we do. If we are always focused on who has it “better,” we will consistently be discontented. Ask God to help you develop an attitude of gratitude for what He has given you – you’ll not only be more contented, you’ll refocus your energy from wanting more “stuff” to wanting HIM. Here’s the reference that sums it all up…be sure to read all the way through to read how “contentment” plays into this…
8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity ; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Dare you today to join me in “taming the tongue” before it kills your marriage.
* Update – I know some of us find the author in this video a little controversial, but can you see God’s hand at work here? (Video reference)
Double dog dare you to be a Titus woman and share today!
Glad for the journey – love to you,
I’ve read this post on Facebook and through my email again over the last couple days. Each time I read it I feel so bad for our men. I think that there aren’t many men who would humiliate us in that same way. Why do we assume men are so thick skinned? Especially in the one area that is their biggest insecurity – being able to provide for their family.
What if the tables were turned and they played on our biggest insecurity? What if a husband came home from his friend’s house and said something about how great the friend’s wife looked! And he started to say how John’s wife looks just like she did when they got married and why don’t you work out at the gym like John’s wife does and why don’t you eat healthy like John’s wife does? It would be World War III right?
I’m walking the same uphill battle that every wife is but we have to keep working on compassion and empathy. We have to be able to put our man goggles on and test our comments out on ourselves before we utter them.
We live in a very, very affluent city on the water where some of the richest people in the world live. I sometimes go out of my way to tell my husband and I have no interest whatsoever in living in some of the houses we see day in and day out. I love our home and I’m very happy and I don’t need any more! Contentment is a huge gift to give our husbands!
I forget about how my desire for more stuff can hurt my husband and make him feel like he’s not living up to my expectations. Thanks, I really liked this post.
I have witnessed this often and it hurts to see them hurting so. Praying for those facing this challenge, and thankful it is not one we struggle with.
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