A Little Bit of Hope for You…
Sometimes I have the privilege of hearing what God has done in the life of one of His daughters.
This was emailed to me today, and I put it up here for your benefit. I don’t know why R-E-S-P-E-C-T changes everything, but it usually does. Sometimes it takes a Loooooooonnnnnngg time – usually because of what WE wives need to learn. 🙂 But if we want grace from our husbands while we are learning to respect, shouldn’t we also extend that to them while they learn to love?
Here’s her story. Praise God for her obedience, and for His faithfulness:
I had been studying respect for a year or so before I started the Respect Dare. But I still greatly appreciated the very practical advice and the personal stories. I had so much to learn!
On day 4, I talked to my husband when I was at work. He told me about an incident that had happened and how he had responded sharply. Our 8 year old son had wanted to play with his dad and my husband really snapped at him.
His parenting methods seemed SO harsh and both of our children were really upset. I wanted to race home and take over. My mama's heart wanted to protect my children.
But I had been working on respect and was going through the beginning of the dares. So even though I was worried about my children's peace of mind, and I wanted to tell my husband what to do. I wanted to tell him he was way too mean to our children. I wanted to quit my part time pharmacy job and be a mom at home so I could be in charge and not have to worry about someone else's mistakes.
So - I listened a long time and didn't say anything. THen I took a deep breath and thought before I answered. I didn't disagree with him. But I knew both children needed more time with their dad to have fun together. I told him softly, "They won't be with us much longer."
I cried the whole way home from work and cried at home. My husband came looking for me. (He NEVER did that before I respected him). I asked him if we should skip children's choir at church that night and just do something together as a family. I apologized for being disrespectful of his parenting. (I still wasn't completely sure when I was and wasn't being disrespectful then. Now I know how to tell him my feelings and not be disrespectful).
My husband did something that he had never done in our 16+ years of marriage.
He apologized "for a lack of proper leadership." He took the blame for the problem with the children and for the misunderstanding between us. WOW!
For the first time, I saw how he truly didn't need my correction, instruction or scolding. He heard my feelings. And I left room for God's voice to speak to his heart. I was forgiving and accepting of him even when he made a mistake, and he grew a great deal as a father, a husband and a leader after that!
To God be the glory!
Glad to be on The Journey with you,
Love to you,
Wow! This sounds so wonderful…
Sometimes I feel like giving in, because my husband seems to just dislike me and everything I do…But I know I can’t give in and so I will try to learn more and more. Who knows… maybe I will see the light at the end of the tunnel one day…
I am in Gods hands.
I feel you. I feel the same kind of dislike coming from my husband. And it sometimes, very often, is so so hard for me to keep my mouth shut and listen for God’s calling and leading before I respond. My initial reaction is almost never the right one- it is fueled with emotion. What has helped me is to remember what Nina says, do it for the “Audience of One.” If I can put the focus on God and pleasing him, it makes it easier. I don’t have to worry about being dissappointed in my husbands reaction or doing something for someone I’m unhappy with at the moment, because, essentially I’m not doing it for him anyway- I’m doing it for God. If it benefits my husband and marriage as well, then, Praise the Lord!
I just pray that I will one day have the self control that the Lord wants me to have. That he will keep molding me and I will remain pliable!
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