Thoughts about An Angry Husband (and an Angry Wife)
I’ve been at this “respect” and “relationship architect” and “godly wife” thing for nearly 20 years in one form or another.
Tuesday night, my husband took me on a date (I asked him to go, btw 🙂 ) and we had a fabulous time…until I said something that made him frustrated.
I’d like to say I have it all figured out, but by now we know two things: 1) it’s not possible to be perfect (that’s Jesus’ job) and 2) thinking that way is the sin of PRIDE. So there’s my first confession of the day. 🙂
Without boring you to tears, let’s just say that God has orchestrated a ton of circumstances to clearly communicate to me that this whole “anger” thing needs to be figured out… and not just the anger of men, but women’s anger, too.
And Yes, God now has me writing a survey for the wives, too. That will be up later tomorrow, hopefully by the weekend.
So do you mind taking a few moments to share this with the men in your world, and if you are a man, could you take a few moments to respond to our 7 questions? Here’s the link: Click here to take survey
I took a moment to review Proverbs 19 and nearly fell out of my chair this morning. Much of it applies to our topic of anger today! I shouldn’t be surprised, but sometimes I forget that the Lord can orchestrate the timing of many things…He’s a Big God.
I wrote a few little explanations within the Proverbs.
Proverbs 19:16: He (or she) who obeys instructions (does what the Bible says) guards his/her life, but he (or she) who is contemptuous of his/her way (following God’s commandments, not submitting to God’s authority, rebelling against God – which is as abhorent to God as the sin of witchcraft) will die (this is a spiritual death, one that leaves us miserable in relationships, and could be tied to not receiving salvation as a result of not fully believing in Christ).
Proverbs 19:19 A hot tempered man (or woman) must pay the penalty (suffer the destruction of relationships from his/her own bad behavior and lack of control); if you rescue him/her; you will have to do it again (this is how we enable others – by avoiding conflict, we actually cause more of it and allow others to behave badly more often – ties in with the whole concept of “guarding your heart”).
Proverbs 19:22 What a man (or woman) desires is unfailing love, better to be poor than a liar (money can’t buy people that are loyal (unfailing) and true in relationships, and that is more valuable to us than wealth – fulfilling relationships create peace, comfort, joy, blessing, and fulfillment within us more than the STUFF that the world encourages us to acquire).
Proverbs 19:23 The fear of the Lord leads to life (it’s also “the beginning of wisdom” in other translations): then one rests content, untouched by trouble (if we accept Who God is, and believe that hell is real and He is a God who loves us and sent Jesus to save us – if we understand all of that with reverence and make Christ Lord of our lives, confessing with our mouths and believing in our hearts this Truth, then when we have troubles, we will still have peace, joy, comfort, CONTENTMENT, because we are living our lives for the Audience of One, and not the world’s approval, which is flighty).
If you think that God is just some cosmic thing that’s out there maybe, and don’t buy the “personal relationship with Christ thing” nor believe He has a purpose very specifically for YOU, then none of this matters. You will wonder what happens at the end of your days. Or your kids’ days. Or others whom you love…
And if you think that the Bible is a “good idea” but not Inspired Truth meant to guide us in moment to moment living, none of this matters, either, because Truth then becomes relative.
I like the constancy of buying the whole enchillada. Of submitting to the authority of the One Who Made me… and I’ve been an athiest, an agnostic and a diest…and can now say that I am a follower of Christ…and have moved from knowing “about” Him, to actually knowing Him – as a person, and not just a historical figure…that I fully understand the “relationship” with God and that yes, it is not only possible but amazing to friends with Christ and make Him Lord.
So think I’m crazy if you like, but either the Bible is True, or it’s not. Either those guys in the Bible went from being deserters to martyrs over a good idea, or they had an encounter with a risen God. And they had more than an encounter – they had relationship, and wanting others to have that too, gave their very lives for Him.
Like them, I want you to have what I have…He’s there for all of us.
But you have to want it, and understand what He did for you to get it.
So persevere if He’s called you. 🙂
I said this yesterday, but it bears repeating…Hebrews 10:36 says, “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” Do the right thing because God says it’s the right thing. It takes a while to start figuring these things out – but totally worth doing.
Do what is right today, don’t give way to fear.
Thankful to be on the journey with you! If you live in the Cincinnati area, please consider joining us on this neat journey by taking Daughters of Sarah®. If you don’t live in the area, please know the class will be available for fall via video. Pray for us – it’s a lot of work and expense to do this! J
Blessings,
Diane, I’m sorry he felt that way. Seems strange to me that you offered him a chance to complain about you and make suggestions as to how you could improve, and he got angry about that.
That is, I forwarded the email with the survey link to him.
I sent this to my husband and he got angry. 🙁 Go figure. He thought I was poking my finger at him. Truthfully, I felt a bit vulnerable sending it to him, thinking all my shortcomings will be pointed out, but I really do want to be a wife that makes my husband a happy man, so I wanted to give him the chance to put his 2 cents in.