We broke open our piggy banks and dug coins out of the couch cushions to put the down payment on a house the year we were married.
We literally scraped together enough to buy the house, but had to paint it for it to qualify for the FHA loan. We cashed in savings, dug the quarters, nickels and dimes out of the floor boards of the cars, and bought the tiny place.
And even though we had a little house together, we still dated.
Sometimes both Friday and Saturday were “on the town” nights, spent going to plays, dinner, or even eating a pizza in the car and steaming up the windows J at the lake because that’s all we had the money to do…
I entered his world, he entered mine, and we forged new territory of interests common to us both, together. We put our marriage first, intentionally spending time together.
We bought a dog, and went to training classes. (If you haven’t had a dog, btw, they are great “practice” for raising kids)
And we did nearly everything together.
That was over 20 years ago.
Our latest really purposeful time together (other than church or our dates) looks really different… It’s our “job jar” weekly activities. Our daughter pulls one out, and we accomplish the task over the weekend.
Doesn’t sound that romantic, does it? 🙂
But, if you ask either one of us about how the rankings of our relationships go, I think you’ll get the same answer – God – marriage – kids. Problem is that our time is hugely eaten up by work, ministry, and driving kids around. So we don’t date several times a week anymore, but once or twice a month – and we probably should get back to once a week. Even going for coffee or breakfast is a date when it’s just the two of you. Thankfully, we spend time together, talking, planning, and doing.
Proverbs 2 today reminded me of what Jesus tells us in Revelation.
First, the Proverbs verse: “It (wisdom) will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.” (emphasis mine)
How many of us have emotionally or physically left the partner of our youth? Ouch.
Now Revelation 2:4-5 (Jesus speaking to the church of Ephesus, which IMHO, is significant) “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”
Doing the “things we did at first” changes relationships. Yes, you might not feel like it any longer, BUT, sometimes our hearts follow our behaviors. And if we wait instead for our hearts to change without taking action, well, we’ll wait forever.
So today, this spoke to me to apologize to my husband (I took something personally that he said last night and shot off a non-respectful response – that’s the “repent” part) and secondly, to “do the things we/you did at first” in our marriage. So I’m going to write him another note of encouragement and leave it some place he’ll find it.
Then I’m going to pray about something he might enjoy doing that we used to do together, and see if I can make that happen. For us, it’s great for either of us to plan outings.
When’s the last time you did one of those early marriage activities?
When is the last time you did something for your spouse with the sole purpose of bringing him (or her) joy?
Or sent flowers? Or bought a little gift?
Or left a sweet note of affirmation?
Or did a little something to make things easier for him (or her)?
Or pursued him or her physically like you did back then? J
Dare you to do any of these (and more) daily… and remember, if you are doing them with the purpose of receiving, it’s not a gift, it’s not Love, it’s an attempt at a purchase…so pray for His great love within you. 🙂
Double dog dare you to actually check the Proverbs link and read the verses, seeing what He has to say to you this day.
Triple dog dare you to comment, share or “subscribe” and join us on the journey! J
For what it’s worth, one of my kids is dealing with a medical condition that is impacting my ability to blog daily. It is still my plan to spend time with you at least 3 days a week, but I don’t think it is possible for me to continue shooting for 5. I’m really sorry. I’d encourage you to read the books of Samuel – they’re all about David. He’s the biggest whiner in the Bible (my kinda guy J) and yet God calls him a “man after God’s own heart.”
May we all pursue Him with as much passion as David.
Love to you,