Want Change in Your Marriage?
Saturday afternoon, amidst a ton of work and writing deadlines, I received a phone call from my husband.
“I forgot the boat hitch. Can you bring it down?” he asked.
Immersed in highly productive writing activity, “on a roll,” “making headway,” I’ll be honest with you: I didn’t want to stop and spend 4-5 hours of my work time driving and dealing with the boat.
What I realized while writing this today, is that I “should have been” a little ticked at him for not remembering the hitch – that’s why he went to the lake in the first place, to get the boat out of the water.
But I wasn’t ticked.
And while remorseful about the make-up work I’d have to do, what I felt instead of irritation surprised me: compassion.
My husband works very hard. He leaves our house around 5:30am nearly every day, then returns around 6:30pm, then fully engages with our kids, me, homework, dinner clean up, bill paying, life discussions, small group Bible study, driving kids around to evening activities, puts kids to bed with me, and finally crashes around 10:30pm. Sometimes he gets up at 3am to call China.
And then he gets up the next day and does it all over again.
I admire his commitment to us, and his efforts.
So I went.
And instead of nit-picking at him for being forgetful, I recognized that he probably understood how big of an interruption this was for me, felt mad enough at himself for two people, and I understood that busy people who work hard sometimes forget things.
And when I got there, I winked at him and said, “You know, if you wanted to see me, you could have just said so.” And I gave him a big kiss.
And yesterday, when I was working to meet this morning’s deadline, he drove people places and filled in for my commitments so I could finish on time.
That’s what two people who love Christ DO in a marriage – when one falls (or has a period of stumbling, like I did when I had post-partum depression), the other is there to support, encourage, and love.
And it starts with our own relationship with God.
Dare you today to take heed to the words in Proverbs 12:25 today: “Anxiety in the heart of a man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.”
Double-dog-dare you to respond to your spouse today in a Spirit-filled way, instead of serving up human judgment, criticism, and condemnation. Want to know if you are filled with the Spirit? Do a fruit-check today: The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22). Do we respond with those? We can, if we ask Him to grow our relationship with Him such that we see others the way He sees them. J
Thankful to be on the journey with you!