“I don’t know why I did it,” my friend cried to me. “I never started with this in mind…it was just so nice to have someone paying attention to me, saying nice things to me, caring what I thought for once,” she continued.
“Is it over?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she replied.
“How far did things go?” I asked her.
“Far enough, but not sexually,” she said.
“Have you told your husband?” I asked her.
“Not yet, but I plan to, God help me,” she sobbed.
My friend spent months dismantling the foundation of her marriage as she fantasized about a relationship with another man she worked with…and he started to respond romantically to her “friendship,” and before too many weeks had passed, looks were exchanged, touches occurred, and then there was a kiss.
The ball was rolling.
The “adulterous woman” in Proverbs 2 tempts women, too. Sometimes she shows up in the romance novel that caused my friend to compare her current stoic husband to the chivalrous hero in the books (that he’ll never be, btw – they call it “fiction” for a reason). Soon, dissatisfaction occurred within her marriage of epic proportions. She’d watched a few too many “romantic” movies – and somehow forgot that real life doesn’t have “second takes.”
And there, but for the grace of God, go I, as well. I know I could be tempted by these things, too. So I don’t read the books, and I don’t watch romance movies. Ever.
One of my accountability partners (yes, I have several, all for different things) who is helping me with organizational issues, told me recently, “Nina, your lack of organizational abilities is simple. You don’t have any standards. You are thin because you aggressively manage the standards you have set for your weight and exercise. Your office is a wreck because you won’t create and keep standards for it.”
I love it that I have people in my life that love me enough to tell me the Truth, and don’t buy my excuses.
So I’m working on standards, as I clean up the mess. For my weight, I have a range of about 10 pounds that I’m fine with fluctuating within. I have a range of exercising (3-6 times a week) that I can fluctuate within. For my office, I will have a range of days per week that I spend a minimum of 15 minutes dealing with papers that I’d rather never see again.
Rather than waiting for a mess to be created, or so much weight put on that it takes serious effort to lose, we need to take Paul’s advice in 1 Corinthians 10:13-15 and flee from temptations. Choosing to go to certain websites, read certain books, watch movies that cause us to have romantic thoughts about people we’re not married to, these things are all soul rotting sins – for we are influenced by whatever we choose to fill our minds with.
Dare you today to think about what you think about. Double-dog-dare you to subscribe or share with a friend, asking them to do the same. Triple-dog-dare you to confess and repent, and accept the forgiveness God gives you, remembering that you can tell if it’s repentance if you change your behavior.
May God bless you in your pursuit of righteousness and wisdom.
Thankful for the journey!