Driving Under the Influence of Anger…

I apologized to my husband for driving into the side of the garage.

Acting childishly, and furious at him over something stupid (and not the point of this blog, so I won’t go into it), I hastily pulled away, paying no attention to the enormous dwelling next to the vehicle, clipping the brick and nailing the corner of the van.

So for the last several months, we decorated and secured the front fender with duct tape.

And God used this situation to teach me a ton of things about marriage. Like what “one flesh” can look like in the midst of sin.

I have to admit it’s not the most attractive thing to drive:

And honestly, I really don’t care what I drive. Someday, I’ll own a Ford Mustang Convertible… but for now, I chauffeur children, pets, sports and musical equipment.

So yesterday, while I was on my way to a meeting, my husband called, wanting to know if I was doing anything that afternoon.

Uh-Oh.

I asked him what he needed, and he let me know he had found a used van to replace our high mileage-and-damaged old one.

Oh.

He needed the duct-tape clad vehicle detailed so he could see what he could get for it from the used car dealer.

He wanted to come home in a few hours to get it.

I paused.

And I thought.

Then made a decision.

I chose to turn around and go home and spend the next three hours detailing the van.

He thanked me profusely for doing this. I called and explained myself to our Operations Director, who, because she is a grown up and holds the same values that I do (especially the one about “family and husband comes first over ministry meetings”) understood completely and encouraged me.

And God blessed me for my choice through a phone call from a friend, so I wasn’t working alone.

So while I made the wrong choice initially (to be angry enough at another to be careless enough to damage our property), I felt like I had been given a second chance to right the wrong. Yes, I had apologized to my husband for smashing the van. Yes, I told my children what I had done and why it was wrong, and asked their forgiveness as well. But instead of acting like a put-out spoiled brat, inconvenienced by my hub’s desire to replace the above vehicle, I embraced an opportunity and chose to think about the situation and my husband as God would see both.

And what did I see?

My hub just wanted to bless me. There was nothing about his communication that said, “You owe me this. This is your fault in the first place.” He was interacting with me in a healthy-adult way, allowing me the freedom to make my own choices. And because I realized that, I could have said, “No, I have a meeting,” and he would have figured something else out. Instead, I chose to be part of “team Roesner,” just like my husband was doing. And I remembered months ago, instead of being angry at me about how I had damaged the van, he accepted my apology, replaced the lights, and repeatedly checked and replaced the duct tape for me. But most importantly, he didn’t hold a grudge. He acted like a grown up and moved on.

God showed me those things. I probably wouldn’t have seen them on my own.

So, while I don’t care what I drive, I choose to feel blessed because my knight in shining armor delivered a new-to-us chariot to his princess last night, in her very favorite color in the whole world:

And this morning, when the Lord shared Proverbs 30:33 with me:

For the churning of milk produces butter, and pressing the nose brings forth blood; so the churning of anger produces strife.

I saw what could have been, and so often is, the reality for too many people.

Strife.

Because of churning. Holding onto grudges, letting things fester, blaming others, etc.

And humbly, I recognize how even sin handled well produces blessing.

I don’t deserve this gift.

And I’m not talking about the van.

I’m talking about my husband’s gracious attitude and gentle care of me in the midst of it all.

I don’t deserve Jesus, either, and yet, when we accept the gift, proclaim Him as Lord, and then start living our lives for Him alone, those around us are influenced and do likewise. Undeserved grace is what I received from my Lord and my husband.

Dare you to trust Him enough this morning to do likewise… He really does know best. His ways are always perfect.

AND… Double-Dog-Dare you to read the rest of Proverbs 30 to see what other nuggets He has for you this day: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%2030&version=NASB

Glad to be on the journey with you!

~Nina