A Small Change to STOP Making Others Defensive

Simple phrase that diffuses potential conflict

A turn from defensive I walked into the hallway and said to her, “Baby, you’ll need to do the stairs, there’s dog hair on them.” This was after she’d already put the vacuum away, thinking she was done with her daily chore. I might have heard, “I know!!” from her lips or spotted a complimentary eye-roll for no […]

Phrases that Either Open or Close His Heart

Words that make him defensive

Phrases that either open or close his heart So far we’ve learned how to get and keep our husband’s attention. Today I share several key phrases to avoid. We don’t want to sabotage the conversation by making him feel defensive! I also share a few key phrases to include in your communication that will help keep his […]

Psst… are your thoughts destroying you?

Is self-talk destroying you? Shoulders hunched over, face in a scowl, the thoughts come… “I can’t.” “I’m so lousy at this…” “I wish I’d never started…” “I want to quit.” Or maybe, like the woman in the story in Matthew 9:21, she perseveres, knowing – no, believing – for twelve years – that she will […]

3 simple things that will help him keep listening

Capture his attention

Help Him Keep Listening Last week we looked at the start-up of a conversation with your husband and how to get his interest in the first place. Getting his attention is one thing – keeping it is another. Today we’ll cover three simple things that will make it easy for your husband to keep listening to […]

Rules or Relationship?

How to step away from the "Christian Checklist"

I remember it as though it occurred yesterday. Having lain unsleeping for two hours, tossing and turning, 4am roused me out of bed completely. I descended the stairs to the cold family room, pulled a blanket around me and started reading. It was early spring, so the resurrection called. I knew the story – Crucified, […]

Are you a couple in conflict?

Whose fault is it?

I’m working with a married couple in crisis right now. If I were to share with you the nitty gritty details of their issues, you’d think, “There’s no way this will get better.”  What’s so exciting to me is that the core of their problems isn’t any different than the core of Adam and Eve’s issues […]

5 Ways to Get Your Husband to Listen

You simply can’t get him to listen without these five things

5 Ways to Get Your Husband to Listen Situation: Maybe you can relate to this – you want to talk to your husband about the kind of car your 16 year-old wants to buy. Your husband is focused on his phone, reading the news. You bring up the topic, ask him what he thinks about it, […]