Rules or Relationship?

How to step away from the "Christian Checklist"

I remember it as though it occurred yesterday. Having lain unsleeping for two hours, tossing and turning, 4am roused me out of bed completely. I descended the stairs to the cold family room, pulled a blanket around me and started reading. It was early spring, so the resurrection called. I knew the story – Crucified, […]

Are you a couple in conflict?

Whose fault is it?

I’m working with a married couple in crisis right now. If I were to share with you the nitty gritty details of their issues, you’d think, “There’s no way this will get better.”  What’s so exciting to me is that the core of their problems isn’t any different than the core of Adam and Eve’s issues […]

Unconditional Respect – Shouldn’t Husbands Have to Earn Respect??

Unconditional respect – Shouldn’t husbands have to earn respect? Late for an appointment, Jim and I sped down the freeway in the fast lane.  Seeing our exit coming, I wondered if I should say something. Normally I wouldn’t have hesitated, but I’d been reading a book that indicated correcting your husband’s driving was NOT respectful. I […]

Why is My Marriage So Hard?

how our relationships with others reflects our relationship with God...

You are wondering: Why is my marriage so hard? (I’m going to get to this in a second, and you’ll need to hang with me here. I know that if your marriage is so hard you are grasping at anything, you’re going to want to read this AND stick it out to the bottom – […]

Feeling Unappreciated?

aka "how not to get stuck in misery"

Feeling Unappreciated? I have a friend who is seeing a marriage counselor because her marriage is hard. She shared recently with me what she considered a “really small incident” that represents a ton of others. One morning she rose early, made her husband’s lunch for him (usually he made it himself because he leaves really […]

How to avoid feeling shame …

Ever have someone shame you? It’s an awful feeling, don’t you think? The face-flushing, guilty-headache, hot-cheeked, where’s-the-door-right-Now? feeling that stinks like no other. And you may not consider yourself someone who dumps shame on others – I certainly didn’t think of myself that way – but if we’ve ever begun a sentence with, “How could […]

Why your husband no longer respects YOU…

To think about why your husband no longer respects you is painful. I’m sorry. But you’ve noticed it, right? The disrespect shows up in small ways… and big ones. A look of disdain here… The curved lip of contempt there… Dishes left out for “someone else” to do… same with the dirty laundry… Opinions ignored, […]