Rules or Relationship?

How to step away from the "Christian Checklist"

I remember it as though it occurred yesterday. Having lain unsleeping for two hours, tossing and turning, 4am roused me out of bed completely. I descended the stairs to the cold family room, pulled a blanket around me and started reading. It was early spring, so the resurrection called. I knew the story – Crucified, […]

Are you a couple in conflict?

Whose fault is it?

I’m working with a married couple in crisis right now. If I were to share with you the nitty gritty details of their issues, you’d think, “There’s no way this will get better.”  What’s so exciting to me is that the core of their problems isn’t any different than the core of Adam and Eve’s issues […]

How to Calm Down an Angry Husband

How to Calm Down an Angry Husband Your husband says to you, “You never…” or “You always…” or whatever.  Your natural reaction is to be what?  How about ticked? Or hurt. Or worse yet, scared. But yes, probably angry.  Unless you are scared.  Or don’t know what to do.  And that usually results in being […]

How to Deal with Defensiveness

aka how to scare your husband...

If you are looking for how to deal with defensiveness, this may help. So a while back, we ran a survey and discovered a commonly used phrase that instills fear into the average husband. The creator of all this anxiety?  One of the most commonly used phrases by wives around the western world:  “We need to […]

How to be calm during conflict…

and how you can help your kids, your spouse, and your team stop freaking out

Wish you knew how to be calm during conflict?  Dare 4: Whatever We Pay Attention to Grows (yes, I’m writing another book – this time one about respecting self & others, and it will deal with handling conflict, deflating defensiveness, and creating communities of mutual respect and accountability – you can sign up by subscribing […]

Why he disrespects you…

Wondering why he disrespects you? Let’s use an analogy to understand why husbands sometimes disrespect their wives… So let’s say you are an avid runner and want to significantly increase your distance and pace because you want to not only run a marathon, but you want to run it fast enough to qualify for the […]

How defensiveness is destroying your marriage…

In case you’re not, you should be aware of how defensiveness is destroying your marriage… I would like some input in dealing with family communication, or lack thereof. When someone does something insulting, deceptive, etc. to upset me and/ or make me angry, the defense mechanism is to get angry at me-first- so I’m on […]