Dare #6 of The Respect Dare – Conflict

Several years ago, I facilitated a retreat that equipped organizational leaders to effectively handle conflict. We spent a good deal of time talking about some of the behaviors of people in the organization. God used the opportunity to remind me of something. Many of the issues and problems that ALL organizations face are due to […]

Dare #4 Journey – 5 Positives for Every Negative…

Negative or Positive? What do you actually DO? I mean, are we supposed to just run around giving compliments like crazy? In research done by Dr. John Gottman, we learn that marriages that are considered “happy” have a number of things in common.  Here’s just a few: A complete absence of contempt 5 “positive” interactions […]

These are difficult days – prayer appreciated

thankful to be able to ask you...

There aren’t words. All I can say is that prayer is appreciated. What are the odds of taping a Focus on the Family broadcast about your parenting book in March, and then having the segment that talks about raising a challenging child air on the day of that now 29 year-old child’s memorial?  As many […]

Rules or Relationship?

How to step away from the "Christian Checklist"

I remember it as though it occurred yesterday. Having lain unsleeping for two hours, tossing and turning, 4am roused me out of bed completely. I descended the stairs to the cold family room, pulled a blanket around me and started reading. It was early spring, so the resurrection called. I knew the story – Crucified, […]

Are you a couple in conflict?

Whose fault is it?

I’m working with a married couple in crisis right now. If I were to share with you the nitty gritty details of their issues, you’d think, “There’s no way this will get better.”  What’s so exciting to me is that the core of their problems isn’t any different than the core of Adam and Eve’s issues […]

How to Calm Down an Angry Husband

How to Calm Down an Angry Husband Your husband says to you, “You never…” or “You always…” or whatever.  Your natural reaction is to be what?  How about ticked? Or hurt. Or worse yet, scared. But yes, probably angry.  Unless you are scared.  Or don’t know what to do.  And that usually results in being […]

How to Deal with Defensiveness

aka how to scare your husband...

If you are looking for how to deal with defensiveness, this may help. So a while back, we ran a survey and discovered a commonly used phrase that instills fear into the average husband. The creator of all this anxiety?  One of the most commonly used phrases by wives around the western world:  “We need to […]

How to be calm during conflict…

and how you can help your kids, your spouse, and your team stop freaking out

Wish you knew how to be calm during conflict?  Dare 4: Whatever We Pay Attention to Grows (yes, I’m writing another book – this time one about respecting self & others, and it will deal with handling conflict, deflating defensiveness, and creating communities of mutual respect and accountability – you can sign up by subscribing […]