What we can learn from the recent shootings that will help our marriages…

We need to recognize that recent race issues in our country are symptomatic of how America is suffering from mental illness - and it's based on cognitive distortion.

Wondering what we can learn from the recent shootings that will help our marriages? Bear with me for a moment – all these things are connected and you’ll see why in just a minute. Sitting at my computer on Saturday, I started grading exams for my college public speaking courses. When I moused over the […]

One man’s opinion about defensiveness…

Ever ask a man about defensiveness? A little while back, a class member asked me a question about her husband. He had made fun of a disabled person and was angry about how long it took to get through the grocery line. She has been at a loss at how to deal with these things. […]

How to avoid feeling shame …

Ever have someone shame you? It’s an awful feeling, don’t you think? The face-flushing, guilty-headache, hot-cheeked, where’s-the-door-right-Now? feeling that stinks like no other. And you may not consider yourself someone who dumps shame on others – I certainly didn’t think of myself that way – but if we’ve ever begun a sentence with, “How could […]

What should she do?

In search of the male perspective...

Psychologists will tell us that the “parent-child” style of relating is extremely unhealthy in marriage. What IS healthiest is “adult-adult.” Unfortunately, we don’t always do that. Both men and women can be “parental” in a relationship and “childish.” This manifests itself in ranges of varying levels of controlling behaviors to rebelliousness, respectively. I have a […]

Passive Aggressive Husband?

Is your husband passive aggressive? According to Google: pas·sive-ag·gres·sive adjective of or denoting a type of behavior or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation, as in procrastinating, pouting, or misplacing important materials. Men aren’t the only ones capable of being passive aggressive. Women can be […]

Why he disrespects you…

Wondering why he disrespects you? Let’s use an analogy to understand why husbands sometimes disrespect their wives… So let’s say you are an avid runner and want to significantly increase your distance and pace because you want to not only run a marathon, but you want to run it fast enough to qualify for the […]

Why your husband no longer respects YOU…

To think about why your husband no longer respects you is painful. I’m sorry. But you’ve noticed it, right? The disrespect shows up in small ways… and big ones. A look of disdain here… The curved lip of contempt there… Dishes left out for “someone else” to do… same with the dirty laundry… Opinions ignored, […]

Complaining ruining your marriage?

Is complaining ruining your marriage? com·plaining kəmˈplān/ verb gerund or present participle: complaining express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event. “local authorities complained that they lacked sufficient resources” synonyms: protest, grumble, whine, bleat, carp, cavil, grouse, make a fuss And over time, this behavior creates a climate of negativity that […]