Dare 3 of The RESPECT DARE – Biblical Wife

I Flunked the Assessment


Please forgive me for hijacking our dare experience today. There’s been a tragedy in our ministry.

For those of you who know my sweet friend, operations director, and co-author, Debbie Hitchcock, it didn’t seem right to me to just post today without letting you that something has happened. Her daughter passed suddenly last week. I know many of you will want to love on her and want the details on the memorial service and how to help. 

If you want to send a card of encouragement to the family, you can do so via Greater Impact, 5018 Silvermine Court, Milford, Ohio, 45150.  The family has asked that Memorial be made to http://www.greaterimpact.org/donate/

The memorial service has been set for Wednesday evening at Horizon Community Church 3950 Newtown Road, Cincinnati, OH 45244. There is a viewing at 5:30pm, and the service will be at 6:30pm.

If you want to help with food, meals have been set up via this  link: https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/n2183e 

Most of all, what is needed is prayer for strength and comfort. 

Thank you, friends, for walking with us during these hard days. 

Love to you,


Now, on to our regularly scheduled programming…

One morning, after rising late, starting a load of laundry and rushing through a cup of tea, I sat down to “Do-The-Dare.”

Dare 3 asks wives to evaluate our current state of being a Biblical Wife.

Oh. My.

I went through each category, item by item. Before I knew it, Satan had grabbed hold of me and I started feeling like a complete failure.


That stinks.

Excuse me while I feel small and crawl in my closet.



I not only WROTE THE STINKIN’ BOOK, I have “done the dare” about a bazillion times. Okay, He wrote it, but used my fingers to type it. You know what I mean.

And I said, “Um, Lord…what’s true here? Because I wrote this at Your leading, and I know You don’t want me feeling defeated. I know You know that sucks all the life and motivation out of me…”

Growth Measure

So what was the purpose of this assessment?  We ask you to take an honest inventory so that you would have a starting point of where you are when you begin this adventure.  Later, we will use this snapshot as a measure of our growth – compare the old-self to our new-self. This prevents us from focusing on the impossible standard of perfection.

I didn’t have all my ducks in a row.


And He lovingly reminded me of Matthew 6.

Normally, a discussion on motives makes me want to curl up in a corner and hide. This time, however, He not only reminded me of how far I’ve come, but reminded me how much He loves me. And my desire (my motives) to please Him, make Him smile.

So do yours. 🙂

Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.     Matthew 6:4

So there, Satan.

Boy Sticking Out His Tongue

Today, I’m not going to criticize myself!

And thanks be to God for pointing that out also!

Disciple Measure

My favorite item on the assessment is under “disciple.” Do I live my life for God, or do I care more about what other people think?

I see tons of progress there, even though it has cost me much. Nothing measures up to what it cost Him to save me, so I guess I’m okay with that!

And when I remember that, I’m okay with my house not being perfect, paperwork not completed, taxes looming, and home schooling my kids.  In the middle of all of it, I know He knows my heart wants to do all things well… even when I don’t.

And I’m actually okay with that.

If you’re having trouble knowing who you are or Whose you are, this might help.

And I’m praying my heart keeps that motivation. It won’t.  But He’ll gently bring me back and keep growing me.

Hope you’ll join us on this journey if you haven’t already by subscribing to my blog over on the sidebar to the right. We’re going through the dares, one a week, in different contexts.

In the meantime, what about you? Are you glad I flunked? What did YOU experience going through the assessment? Please comment below! 🙂 Let’s talk!

You should totally follow Debbie if you have tweens, teens, or twenty-somethings, and/or Tammy if you’d like to explore the respect journey through storytelling. Her book, Dare to Respect, is a great companion book that deepens the experience, so get your copy as we continue working through the dares in The Respect Dare. In fact, she was interviewed last week by Amanda Davison and shared some personal struggles she faced in marriage. Dare you to read it!

At any rate, I’m so glad we’re all in this together, on the journey at the same time. Iron sharpening iron… Dare you today to chime in on the environment you are creating in your home… What do YOU feel led to do? How have YOU responded to criticism?

Comment, share… let’s change the world together.

Love to you,











A MUST-READ if you have teens, tweens and/or twenty-somethings:










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