Complaining ruining your marriage?

Is complaining ruining your marriage?

gerund or present participle: complaining
  1. express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.
    “local authorities complained that they lacked sufficient resources”
    synonyms: protest, grumble, whine, bleat, carp, cavil, grouse, make a fuss

And over time, this behavior creates a climate of negativity that sucks the life out of people.

(although we taught our dog to “grumble” on command and think it’s pretty cute – it also stopped her fussing randomly about other things)

Here’s a great article from Psychology Today about what complaining does to you and others.

Here’s one on what counselors say is the #1 reason for divorce.

And while we’re at it, let’s not damage our relationship by “phubbing.”   (in other words, stay off your phone when you are with people!)

Most importantly, here’s what God has to say:


The rest of the verse is “so that you can become blameless and pure children of God.”

I don’t know about you, but I need to work on this more. Check this awesome post for more…

What about you? Are you a complainer? Are you disagreeable? Do you see yourself finding common ground in conversations first, or finding fault?

EXTRA CREDIT: Answer the last question in the book about why acts of kindness do NOT make you a doormat. 🙂

Dare you to obey God’s Word today. Double dog Dare you to make today a complaint-free day!

Looking forward to hearing from you today!

Love to you,


One more thing?

It’s not a small thing.

Seriously, if you lead women’s studies, and you want to do marriage ministry that makes a crazy wild lasting difference, you need to pray about joining us for Boot Camp.

We have marriage and family ministry for you – ministry that makes a difference – it’s His, but it’s amazing, and we’d love to help you grow as a leader – and make a greater impact in the neck of the woods He’s entrusted to YOU.

I’d like YOU to pray about Boot Camp – September 7-12, 2016. More info HERE.

If you won’t go, whom will He send?

But maybe you shouldn’t go. Here’s more on the reasons you should NOT attend Boot Camp.

This is different – it’s becoming part of a ministry that has a lasting effect, a dramatic impact – a discipleship method that deepens a woman’s relationship with God, her husband, and others – and over 95% of our participants say so! 

And just so you know, we have a team of people across 5 states – and none of us, myself included, make any money off of any of what we do.

It’s not about that for us.

I recently discovered that many of the same elements in Celebrate Recovery and AA (two proven programs) are in Daughters of Sarah. There’s a touch of them in RD, too, especially if you do the videos and the small group experience. The training method is unlike anything else you’ve probably done. Okay, I’ll stop now.

I get excited.  The women that keep coming back do so because they LOVE what they see God doing, too. 

Boot Camp 1 (9)

titus 2 women leadership

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

One thought on “Complaining ruining your marriage?

  1. Are you a complainer? Are you disagreeable? Do you see yourself finding common ground in conversations first, or finding fault? YES, YES, YES, the later and I am in therapy for all of it. Complaining is truly my strongest weakness. I can tell you what we ought to do, that is easy: When we don’t like a thing, change it. If it still does not change, we change the way we think about it. All the rest invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When I complain, I make myself into a victim. . . . . . Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. —And it won’t make us happier, for sure, because, honestly 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have the problems. . . . ha, ha, ha. —Most importantly, it is insulting to God who has given us all of us so, so much to be thankful for. —It obviously cuts us off from His blessings. I do know this: God does not want us bonding over mutual grievances.

    —Okay, so now I am feeling bad after all that honesty, so I will scapegoat the disciples of Jesus to show I am not as bad as they were. . . . —Luke chapter nine: . “. . . .But the people of the village did not welcome Jesus because he was on his way to Jerusalem. When His disciples James and John saw this, they said, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” . . . . ha, ha, ha. . . . I mean think about that, —really let that sink in. —Lord, do you want us to barbecue these ^&%$# Samaritans because they will not give us a room (—that is what they are saying and exactly what that was about!) —Now, that is way worse than just complaining. I never did that when I could not find a hotel room!!!

    Why do acts of kindness NOT make you a doormat? . . . . .Because that is literally how God gets us to repent. God always just loves on us until we can’t stand it anymore and then we repent. Think about it: The only weapons that have any real power are spiritual. God gives us a powerful alternative to reacting recklessly to even our spouses’ sin: “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good”. The Apostle Peter: “It is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men (—our husbands. . . ha, ha, ha —I love that translation!)” . . . . So, we overcome evil with good when we stop battling our spouses and respond to wrongdoing in ways that are godly, righteous, and loving. —And it is so good for us too and much easier on our hearts.

    Thank you Nina for another wonderful lesson!!! It is so, so important to be thankful and grateful. I can’t be reminded of that enough. God inhabits the praises of His people!!! I certainly do not want complaining and being disagreeable to cut me off from His blessings. —I love the Double dog Dare to have complaint-free days! —Wonderful.

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