When you feel like nothing you do or say matters…

You know that ugly, despairing, discouraged, pit-dwelling spot when you feel like nothing you do or say matters…?

I know what that’s like.

I know you do, too. 

Sometimes this verse motivates, and sometimes, it sucks the life out of me – that’s when things are so hard you don’t know how to do the next thing…


And I know this small thing I’m going to ask your thoughts on pales wildly in comparison to the stuff you are drowning in, but you can trust that I am REALLY truly, deeply interested. 

Because the whole “nothing you do or say matters” thing is a big fat hairy lie.

So can I trouble you to share them in this mostly multiple-choice survey?


I know I have been a bit inconsistent of late. At the risk of sounding defensive (and I’m not, just a bit disappointed in my slow-learning self) I have three major projects going, including a new book coming out this spring, fine tuning Daughters of Sarah, and making videos to go along with 12 Truths to Change Your Marriage. Not to mention life with two teens, home schooling, and the wild rest of life that goes along with marriage, family, and ministry work.

So in getting back the margin in my life, I want to give you what you really want from me. I’ll share the results of the survey with you – it will be up through Wednesday, November 11.

And I want to say I’m sorry for falling off the planet for a while. I really appreciate the kind words of encouragement sent through Facebook to me, and the emails. I want to be a person of consistent contribution, someone in your life that you can count on to do what she says she’s going to. I appreciate the grace as I pick blogging back up amidst the piles of broken plates I’ve been spinning.  

Someday I’ll learn, but like everyone, I have areas where that learning comes ever too slowly and only at the expense of life balance. I find my limits by running into them – HARD. 

Thank you again for doing the survey. Your voice matters to me. Thanks for helping me get my service to you right.

Love to you,


In the meantime, and I know it can be a MEAN TIME, you might check out one or more of the following top-shared posts. I should be back at things as soon as I get over this bug my kids brought home. 🙂

101 Ways to Love Your Wife (viral) More stats
101 Ways to Respect Your Husband (viral) More stats
How to Calm Down an Angry Husband
15 Ways to Show Disrespect to Your Husband…
Why Is Your Wife Unhappy?

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titus 2 women leadership

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

5 thoughts on “When you feel like nothing you do or say matters…

  1. All those unspoken expectations for women, how true! My husband is handy, and I love to cook. My casserole dish and his tool box work well together. Is there a single mom who could use some help with yard work? Is there an elderly couple who needs help hanging their Christmas lights? We look for creative ways we can serve side by side and connect with each other and our neighbors.

  2. Thanks so much! 🙂 I do hope for grace from you all, and it is just so sweet to receive it. 🙂 His compassion flows deep in you, baby. 🙂
    Love to you!

  3. Following your blog makes me aware that you have many pans in the fire. So when I don’t hear from you, I know you are managing other things and need prayer. That’s all, no condemnation.

  4. Nina,
    Let me tell you what you already know: Ask the Lord if He is pleased with you, just ask Him! If He says “Yes!”, then don’t worry about falling off the planet for a while, or having a consistent contribution, or being someone in our life that we can always count on. —I know you know this too: He loves you!!! You have the greatest value. He gave His life for all your worth. While you were amidst the piles of broken plates, I was using the time to go back through the YEARS of blog posts on your site. Again, there is enough content there already for a lifetime. All you ever have to be is what He makes you. . . . .I filled out the survey and I view you as Christ-centered counseling and so hope you continue to teach us how to connect more with God (Prayer, Bible Study, Worship!) . . . .I think only when we give up being consistent will we find the truth! Inconsistency makes us free to discover other roads (—like to Zion, the city of God!). . . “Christian” culture has to many unspoken expectations for women; for example, we should always be nice and never hurt anyone’s feelings. We should always put other peoples needs and wants ahead of our own. We should keep a beautiful and orderly home, raise successful and godly children, achieve a meaningful career and ministry, have great girlfriends, and make our husband really, really happy. . . . . ha, ha, ha, ha. . . . . For me, One Goal: God Himself —not joy, —not peace, —not even blessing, —just God! . . .Fortunately, the mystery of godliness seems clear enough: always choose/ always take the path that makes you closer to Him, that has you spending more time in His presence, opening your heart even more to Him, seeking to know Him in greater deepth, and desiring to be more like Him —and bringing your family along on that journey. Christ’s love to you!

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