Why your relationship is a mess…

Why Your Relationship is a Mess… & What to DO about it… #2

Why your relationship is a mess… & What to Do about it… #2

You’d think this was simple business, right? Relationships can be so rewarding, so amazing, and then we wake up one day and … things have changed somehow. Suddenly, we find ourselves in the land of “not awesome.”

One part of the answer is simple…


And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

1 Corinthians 3:18

Because it’s our nature to not be grateful, to get bored, to habituate (take things for granted, become accustomed to, etc). And then what do we do?

BORED PEOPLE START FINDING FAULT… and then they start complaining.

today, instead of doing the same things you’ve always done and expecting different results – DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Take a hard look at the daily routine (but don’t mess with your first two hours if it’s helping you be productive) and change things up. Habits can kill brain cells. Boredom ruins relationships. EVERYTHING habituates.

So change things up a bit.

Dare you to share something you do the same way each day and commit here to doing it differently – explain HOW you’ll do it differently for extra credit.  Why? Because we all need inspiration – sometimes we are so stuck in the box we need each other’s help thinking outside of it.

As for me? I’ve moved when I write from first thing in the morning to mid-morning. Doesn’t sound like much, but the 5:30am writing gig was up long ago – doesn’t work for me anymore. So I’m writing during my most creative hours, but after I’m a little more conscious. Seems the older I get, the longer it takes for the coffee to kick in! 🙂 Am also going to try after running – seems like He and I have some awesome conversations then, too.

Been avoiding conflict to help keep the peace? STOP. Here’s why.

In my relationships, I’m trying to add a bit of excitement. At least once a week, I want to do something thrilling, even if it is watching a movie, with people that are most important to me, because shared excitement builds connection! (maybe that’s one you can give a try!)

What about you? What are YOU going to do today to change up a relationship habit?

Love to you!


Just joining us? These might be of interest, too:

Dare 7: Why Your Marriage (Relationships) Are a Mess & What to do about it (AKA – why you should dump your whiny friends & get some worth some salt!) – so we’ve moved into a marriage AND “for any woman” series – the first 6 are below, then we’re continuing with the small moments that can change everything… 🙂

Dare 6: Got friends?

Dare 5: Are you destroying yourself?

Dare 4: Where to Start When You are Wounded

Dare 3: Who do you think you are?

Dare 2: Identity

Dare 1: Expectations

If you got this as an email forward from a friend who cares about you and your family, know we’d love YOU to join us on this journey. You can join the journey, get marriage TIPS! articles, a free copy of my latest eBook to help with your marriage, and other marriage info here.  :) We promise not to share your email with anyone, ever. You’ll get just one or two TIPS! articles a week, plus a blog post as they come, usually 1-2 a week.

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2 thoughts on “Why your relationship is a mess…

  1. “Dare you to share something you do the same way each day:”
    When I am not traveling, I eat lunch at my desk at work and get home at 6:30pm each evening, always the same, every day.

    “Commit here to doing it differently – explain HOW you’ll do it differently for extra credit:”
    Since my husband’s office is only four miles from where I work, I will commit to going over and having lunch with him at his office at least once a week.

    “Why?” –Because it is more time together and we can pray after lunch. You know what? . . . . everything in the entire world always seems right when we are praying, it will bring more calm and peace, as well as more connection into both of our lives.

    “Been avoiding conflict to help keep the peace?” No, thankfully, that is one thing we do not do, we get those issues out there and discuss them.

    “. . .shared excitement builds connection!” Ha, ha, ha, ha . . . . .Just had our fill of that in Europe. Getting lost in rental cars in various countries. Going hundreds and hundreds of miles out of our way. Going the wrong way on one-way streets. Getting pulled over by the Police and Border Guards. The car just dying in Budapest, Hungary –right in the middle of the street. We are full-up on sweet excitement! . . . . ha, ha, ha. 🙂

  2. My thing that I feel led to change is my “coming home from work” routine. Especially on Monday. ( my longest work day) I don’t usually feel like doing ANYTHIHG. I come home, change clothes, and veg in front of the TV. On other days I will make dinner and clean up a bit…

    Yesterday was a good reminder to me that I CAN still be productive if I want to be. I talked to my sister for over an hour. That usually would not happen. I would typically make an excuse after only about 5 minutes. When I noticed my mind starting to wander, I let her know I was getting tired and hungry should let her go.

    In my marriage, this can be used as a way to show my husband and family that even on my work days, I am still here for them even if its only an hour in the evening.

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