1 Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I’ve received some challenging feedback about Dare 38.
A few women bloggers, and even a male pastor, took issue with my suggestion to “initiate intimacy.”
Apparently, (and I guess this is a relatively common teaching – I had no idea) they believe that our role as women is to receive – and while I don’t disagree with the concept of receiving our husband’s advances, I do take issue with the notion that reception is the ONLY thing we are to do.
Clearly, 1 Corinthians 7:5 says not to “deprive each other” – it doesn’t say anything about wives alone. “Each other,” seems to communicate either person can instigate.
One of the reviewers on Amazon took me to task for the “low drive” comment in the dare, as if “low” were a negative thing. When talking about states of arousal, “low” relates to the rate or speed of arousal. The bottom line is most men are “high” or “quick” and most women are “low” or “slow” – and there’s nothing negative about that. I fully believe God created women the way He did to cause men to need to be more empathetic, sensitive, gentle, etc. I know many take issue with there being differences between men and women, and I agree that generalities don’t always speak to the specifics, but I will tell you that “most” and “average” are real things. Take a short lesson on statistics and you’ll find that there are elements of commonality in sex drive, and in nearly everything else for that matter, even though the bell curve doesn’t apply to all circumstances.
At any rate, I continue to marvel at the things people (Christians) will take others to task over, and how the Word is maligned – it seems to me we have a ton of freedom to listen to the Holy Spirit regarding our specific individual circumstances. Churches that teach black and white laws create much dysfunction in well-intentioned people just trying to obey and bring glory to God.
What about you? What have you been taught? And is that different than what you practice or believe? Why or why not?
Love to you,
Something else you might enjoy about marital intimacy – when he wants to and you just don’t.
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