Want To Change Your Husband…??

Want to change your husband?

As in, put an end to the pain-style change him?

Check out what this woman did…

She’s referring to this post, btw…

I’ve been at this Respect Dare since last December. At times I’ve been greatly disappointed in myself-relapsing into old patterns of complaint and begging. However, there have been dramatic changes in how my husband and I are relating. He still wants to go to Amish country with me once a week.

And we talk tough stuff quite often. I share with him the contents of my journal at times and get his feedback, which is not always easy. We are still hitting the wall over his relationship with a female employee of his, though he is beginning to see the why of some of my insecurity/jealousy.

I am still constantly asking Jesus to heal my heart and free me of all that does not please Him. And it is happening. This current post that you have sent out is going to help significantly. It acknowledges a genuine need within me, but restrains me from harping or complaining, Will use repetition of a truthful statement, but not frequently. And will help me focus on blessing, encouraging and expressing a heart of gratitude for all he does Right! Which is a ton! He has really felt my heartfelt gratitude when I’ve done the various assignments.

When I re-started the book a month ago, I asked him for his assessment of my assessment, and he gave me some of the most significant encouragement I’ve ever heard from him in our 35 years of marriage!

I wept because he is definitely seeing change in me. And yesterday he prayed with me for our 5 kids and our marriage with more depth than we have ever experienced. I have begged for this for 35 years.

Today he kissed me on the top of my head, tenderly…just because…and I don’t remember that ever happening before. Well, not since dating anyway:) May God continue to meet you at every turn, show you how to walk alongside your husband in this season of your lives, and strengthen you for every good work.

Gratefully, Ruth

We are giving 100% of the glory to God, and are just humbled to be part of what He’s doing in a small way. I had nothing to do with this, she worked hard and God did what God does in the timing He chooses. 🙂

I’m most impressed with her perseverance, however, because it is through STICKING IT OUT that our faith matures. James 1:4. Check it out.

You’ll also notice that she changed – she worked on the only person she can really impact, and that is herself. 🙂

Trying to do otherwise is like herding cats.

It doesn’t work.

And we find that for women who are in marriages with men who are interested in growing, which seems to be many, The Respect Dare has this kind of impact.

And whether your marriage or your husband changes or not, your relationship with God changes – for the better. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen, outside Daughters of Sarah.  Not everyone knows this, btw, but there’s a relationship method within the book and in all our classes, so as you do the dares, or experience Daughters, you’ll see things start to happen – because the method’s been around for a long time. 🙂

NOTE: If you are married to a man who is immature or not interested in growing, your efforts may not have any impact, although sometimes they will. The most common thing we hear from men whose wives do the book or take Daughters of Sarah is that they are motivated to become better men because of what their wives have done for them.

This doesn’t happen all the time, however. Wish it did!

But God has His timing, doesn’t He?

And regardless, He draws us nearer to Him, regardless, which is literally everything, and more important than being “happy” in our marriages.

I mean, don’t you feel a little embarrassed sometimes fussing about what a jerk you married and how he hurts you when there’s women in other parts of the world watching their husbands being shot and their kids beheaded by ISIS? I know I do. I’ll take deeper relationship with God over first world issues any day.

And I really hope you’ll consider joining us this fall, either by leading a group of women through the book, or doing the eCourse, or starting a Daughters group with a few friends. There’s a lot going on, and in just a few more weeks, we’ll have Part 1 of Daughters of Sarah (on Video) available for you. Here’s the trailer rough draft:

If you have a minute, would love to know what you think of it, what impressions it leaves you with, if there’s anything that bugs you about it, etc. 🙂

And in the mean time, I am just so glad you are on the journey! If you haven’t signed up for our marriage TIPS! yet, I hope you do. 🙂 You can share anything there or here with anyone. 🙂 And we won’t give out your info, either.

Love to you,





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Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

5 thoughts on “Want To Change Your Husband…??

  1. Hi Nina, I am just wondering if my name fell out of some internet list in the sky or are you not post since this last one on Aug. 25th?? Are you not well?
    I usually get posts more often, so I just want to touch bases before I miss out tons of awesomeness!! And I just got the book (Respect Dare!!- yay!!) to do with myself and a young wife and mother of 3 small children, that is feeling the pain of hurt, loneliness and her own lack, within her marriage…. So I need these wonderful posts to send her to for encouragement and to be inspired by, as well!
    thanks for letting me know, if you know!!
    So thankful for sisters!!

    • Leah, not sure what’s happened – if you add nina.roesner(at)greaterimpact.org and information(at)greaterimpact.org to your email, that might help – sometimes a tight spam filter will block because of links. I’ve posted two others, maybe even 3, so hmmm… you can also try subscribing again over on the sidebar and see what it tells you. 🙂

      Love that you are here, love that you are leading other women!!
      Love to you, baby!

  2. Ruth’s story of her 35 years encourages me. I am at 15 years together, 13 of marriage… We almost lost it all last year.. I am so greatful for finding The Respect Dare, and all the others I have linked to from here.. Jimcat, Ruby and Chris.. you are all wonderful and inspiring brave souls!!
    I am so glad that The Lord led me back to Him. I was broken and He lifted me up! I was raised in church, but never had that moment where I KNEW that God was really there… I was married, had kids, but still not a great believer. The Lord met me in my darkest hour one night.. sobbing and praying for answers, he told me.. and I quote! “Your husband will not change until you do”…. I knew I had things I needed to work on, but that hit me like a ton of bricks! I did not feel like I needed as much changing as he did.. Boy was I wrong!! God has revealed to me the things for me to work on.. and there are plenty of them! Once I really dove in and started to work on me, my marriage got better… A few times I have reverted to old ways, and it is not good!

  3. A very encouraging post. I rejoice with Ruth and the relationship she’s building with her husband. A reminder to me to rejoice again in the ways God has changed myself and my husband.(and is still changing)

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