Confession: I am a Crazy Woman

Saturday night, I carried boxes of supplies to my van and set them in the trunk.  I leaned against the vehicle, feeling exhausted from months of preparation and two days of delivering the materials He had put together through me. I sat a moment, enjoying His presence and His pleasure with what He had accomplished through us, and then I closed the van and started walking back to the house where we did the retreat.

I heard the rocks on the street crunching under my sandals as I slowly walked in the quiet. I stopped. I stood and listened. I could faintly hear the women laughing inside the home.  I sensed Him reminded me of something and simply stood for a moment, asking, “Yes?”

I remembered.

I remembered leaving the job I loved to start Greater Impact. I remembered how much I loved delivering Daughters of Sarah, and training trainers. And I remembered how I doubted my faith and my calling because things didn’t go the way I thought they would. My eyes filled with tears of gratitude at a dream, a future, a being part of something bigger than oneself, realized.

I remember the doubt, however, too, when I thought when we started all of this that one of the things I’d be doing is training trainers. Actually, I was SURE of it. I knew as sure as I was breathing, that I was supposed to help others deliver Daughters of Sarah. After training a few and having one of them in an angry outburst tell me, “Who will want to do this, Nina? NO ONE! It’s too hard!” I wanted to quit. I felt confused. I cried a lot.

I thought I was wrong. I knew it was hard, but I also thought I was doing what He wanted me to do, but it was NOT going the way I thought it would, so I doubted.  It certainly wasn’t easy. How could I be so wrong? I wept and wondered often, doubting my faith, doubting His calling for my life. I nearly quit a number of times, but He kept encouraging me.

Half the time, I literally didn’t know what to do next, so I started just doing the next thing. But I stopped trying to train others to do what I did in a class room, and just started teaching the class with them, giving them the easier things to do.  When Debbie, already a professional trainer, appeared on the scene (and that’s a whole other cool story), it became easier and we started co-teaching, but I always wondered about why I thought I felt so sure I’d be training trainers, doing what I had done professionally, but this time, for Him.

Somehow, I kept going.

Over time, we changed Daughters enough so anyone could do it in their home on video – you know we’re just finishing up that part.  It’s taken TWO FULL YEARS of work, heartache, tears, frustration, money, and tweaking to get it to the place it is now. And we are thankful, and we believe He is pleased. Our ministry was super excited! We felt like we were supposed to “get everyone together” this summer - but I also felt led to invite women who wanted to help launch this with us or gain skills in delivering small groups with The Respect Dare to come to Ohio. So, that’s what we did.

We invited women we knew in our Army of Women on Facebook to join us.

Honestly, I didn’t really think anyone would come.

But they did.

From 6 states.

And they are crazy. I mean, WHO FLIES ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO GO TO SOMEONE’S HOUSE TO DO A RETREAT WITH SOMEONE THEY MET ON THE INTERNET?

Who asks people to do this in the first place?

Other crazy people, like our ministry team.

And here we all are:

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And we discovered that this group represents the following:

Married women

Blended and Divorced  families

Foster parents

Military wives

Parents of young kids

Parents of tweens, teens, and twenty-somethings

Sexual Abuse Survivors

So maybe YOU could subscribe to one and encourage this member of our team? :) And you’ll probably receive encouragement yourself!  We want to be on the journey with you! :)

And the really cool thing? This weekend, I gave them skills to make their Respect Dare classes AMAZING. And you know what else? Several of them are taking Daughters of Sarah on video to their churches – and a few even have small groups starting this summer  with the class! :) Please pray for these pilot classes as we work out any issues or problems!

This weekend, as I walked back to the house from my car, I realized that THIS was the Way He had planned all along. I WAS training trainers – just not the way I thought I would. And I wept again, but this time, they were tears of joy.

My faith has been strengthened, because I haven’t given up. And there are a lot more people in the Bible who waited a lot longer than I had to for His dream for them to come into being…

I love learning more about Him, and seeing His communication to me turn into a reality. It’s humbling to be a part of it.

We’re all just a bunch of average beautiful girls who love Him and want to glorify Him through the struggle of daily growing in our faith, choosing to follow Christ, even when it is hard.

It was a beautiful experience, and we can’t wait to get to work! :)

We can’t wait to see what God’s going to do, and how it involves these beautiful women – and maybe you, too! :)

What about YOU? What is God asking YOU to do that might seem CRAZY? :) What have YOU almost given up on? Dare you to share today!

Love to you,

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Comments

  1. Martha says

    Thank you Nina and team for inviting me. I have no doubt that this weekend is a part of the plan God has for my life. Why I had to go all the way to Ohio to tap in I am not sure but I am so glad I did. I think that this weekend was only the beginning of something greater. Love to all.

    • Nina says

      MARTHA! We’re SO stinkin’ glad you came! :) Can’t wait to see what God is going to do! :) Find us on Facebook, girlfriend, and let’s keep playing together!
      Love to you,
      ~Nina

  2. says

    That was an amazing weekend! I feel so privileged to be part of this ministry. Thank you for letting me serve with you all! I can’t wait for a refresher next year!

  3. tiffanie says

    I hate when I feel down like I do today. I feel like I am not pretty enough. I feel like my husband wants something more, something different. I feel like I will never be enough for anyone. Who would want this? I am damaged goods. I broke promises. I deserve this hurt. I deserve the heartache. I deserve a man who keeps secrets and has female friends that make me uncomfortable. I deserve a cheater, and abuser.. For what I have done..

    I have strived to be better. I have repented and not re-done the same sin. I hope I never do. I hope and pray that Heavenly father will take away this saddness and draw myself and my spouse more to Him.

    • says

      Oh, Tiffanie! I am a very unworthy person to try to help you, but we’re all in this big struggle against self together, so here goes. I’m sorry you are in so much pain. Sometimes it seems like even when we repent of something, especially a ‘big’ sin, that we still don’t feel forgiven. But I have a feeling that you know that Jesus HAS forgiven you…you have truly repented and want to do right. You’ve taken solace and shelter in the pain and blood that He shed for all of us…..for you, Tiffanie.

      I am in the process of working through some painful things, and learning that you can do something about yourself, but you can only change YOU. If your husband changes, God can use your behavior in part to bring that about. You do NOT deserve a cheater and abuser!!! Without Christ, that’s exactly what we would get, but not now. It’s normal (but not right) for humans to pay back, eye for eye-style, but your husband is responsible now for his actions and reactions. You just keep doing what God leads you to do, repenting, confessing, treating your husband well, and going forward in God’s love.

      I will be praying for you, beautiful. Maybe you would think about reading the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. All of their books have been extremely helpful to me, and many others. I think it will help you to become stronger, more sure of yourself and less available to hurt by others.

      He WILL take away your sadness as you rely on Him, trusting that He has forgiven you, and helping you to repair your human relationships. Do you have a friend/s, pastor, support group that you are leaning on and sharing these things with? Make sure you’re not trying to do this alone. I did that, and you just seem to go down the whirlpool. Everything gets worse. Find some people to trust. Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud will really help you with that if it’s an issue for you. They can help you to know if you need to take more drastic action to protect yourself.

      Ladies, I’m sure you have encouraging words, and more resources. Many are praying for you through this, Tiffanie. Don’t give up.

    • says

      Tiffanie,

      I understand where you’re coming from with the guilt, but if you’ve repented it’s false guilt and shame from the enemy. Do not let him steal God’s victory in your redemption. The enemy tries to keep us in bondage by making us think that our sin is somehow the unforgivable sin. But Romans 8:1-2 tells you the Truth. God’s Truth. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death.

      I’m praying for you today sweet, sister loved by God. He has chosen YOU! You are His and you are free!!!!

      Trixie

    • Nina says

      Tiffanie –

      I echo what our sweet girls above have encouraged you with – and stop believing LIES. :) Also, there’s a difference in “bringing good” and “bringing niceness” – the Truth is always gently delivered, but we are also not called to lie. Not sure if that even applies in your situation, but felt like adding that in case it did. May this encourage you today… http://ninaroesner.com/who-am-i/

      Please know I wrote it to remind myself. :)

      And you.

      Love to you, baby.

      ~Nina

  4. says

    Crazy is the only way to describe this week-end… Sometimes, in hindsight, I can see a life-changing moment. I love when I can see it while it is happening. I knew while I was there God was changing our lives and this ministry, and now I am so excited to see where it goes! Thank you for being so bold, Nina!

    • Nina says

      April -
      So glad you were here! :) LITERALLY! :) LOL! And thankful to meet you in person. :) Any good you saw was all Him, baby. :)

      Looking forward to where this journey takes us all.

      Love to you,
      ~Nina

  5. says

    I’m excited for you because I believe in what you’re doing and because I can relate to much. He keeps sending me encouragement when I doubt. I am weak, life is hard, God is good. Step, step, step, keep your eyes on Him.
    Bless you and your ministry, praying for you and your family.

    • Nina says

      Jennifer! :) YES – step step step – and it’s ALL His, the ministry, my life, I know you know… :)

      Love to you!
      ~Nina

  6. Mande kalbfleisch says

    Crazy is right. Crazy about a God who goes before us and plans super awesome weekends for reasons we don’t even know! Crazy enough to doubt a calling for 4 years only to drive from Texas to Ohio to find that calling again!!!! Praising Gid that he is good all the time! Learned so much this weekend and can’t wait to take it back to my church.

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