Maligning the Word…

Lonely Wife appreciates the ton of comments from Monday and Tuesday’s blog. She says she has much to think about, much to pray about.  One of her friends suggested she leave him – she doesn’t feel called to do that, though, so she’ll be praying through the comments here.  I fully believe God will give us advice through other people – and it is Biblical to pray and seek the counsel of those wiser than us when we don’t know what to do.

THANK YOU for being part of that process for her.

She is grateful.

So am I.


I am sorry I was a bit out of pocket here at the beginning of the week. I’m actually on holiday in right now.  I was traveling on Monday, and yesterday had issues with my internet connection. Since my husband stayed back this trip, and I’m a little less than mediocre skill-wise when it comes to internetty-things… I’m just now getting access on my computer. 🙂

Monday’s discussion was stellar. The comment section is RIPE with gobs of wisdom and encouragement, and opportunity to pray for one another. I read all of the comments while traveling, and watched you dialogue with each other so incredibly respectfully. Your thoughts help me feel like I know you better, too, which is really great.

Awesome, actually. 🙂

And I’d like to point out a small thing that may go un-noticed within all of this discussion.

It’s important to have balance.

I’m not discounting the fact that a single verse can speak volumes to us within difficulty or other moments of a day – but one thing we forget sometimes (myself included) is that there are about a hundred different ways to look at a situation – and often only a few that are the ways we should be looking at it.

And many of you not only recognized that, but pointed it out.

Often, we’re missing part of the picture when we try to give advice.  I’ve seen a number of circumstances where a wife feels like our gal, Lonely Wife, from Monday, and yet her husband feels nearly exactly the same – alone, ignored, unappreciated, etc.

So who is right?

The other thing we need to consider is a balanced presentation of what the Word says – our job as Titus encouragers is to point people back to the Word – the entirety of it.

I confess, I am not sure if I always do a good job of that. Not every single one of my posts covers 100% of what the Bible says about marriage – often, when I’m trying to discuss one element, I forget to include all of them. In that, I wonder if I am also guilty of maligning the Word.

Sometimes pastors/bloggers/teachers will only point to mutual submission and ignore submission, respect, head-ship verses and the creation account.

Other times, they (we) will point only to submission and respect and ignore Sapphira, Esther, Matthew 18, and the verses about how believers are to interact with each other.

And the world? The world would have us shove our opinions down others’ throats, stand up for rights, and make it all about us and feeling good. Sometimes we get caught up in worldly ideas and share those without the Word.

Speaking of the world, I am reminded that the Focus on the Family broadcasts of Jim Daly’s and John Fuller’s interviews with me are airing today in Australia.  Prayers appreciated for whatever God plans to do with them!

So today’s question – since it is pretty stinkin’ amazing and obvious that so many of you are wise – without gossiping (naming others specifically) in what ways do YOU see a lack of balance in how Truth is communicated in relationship to marriage? How do you think the church and/or the body could improve in this area? What do you think would help solve the problem?

Love that you are here, love the dialogue!

Love to you,


A few of your favorite posts:

101 Ways to Love Your Wife

6 Things to Change Your Marriage Today

Is a Label Messing Up Your Marriage?

For Parents of Twenty-Somethings

For Young Wives with Little Kids

Hope you’ll subscribe over on the side bar – we’ll continue our journey through The Respect Dare process and every Monday til we are done this year! 🙂

titus 2 women leadership

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

6 thoughts on “Maligning the Word…

  1. I just had a thunderstruck moment here…

    Respect is only one tool. When our search for God begins and ends in our relationship with our spouse, we’re running on empty before we even begin. TRD is a great starting point for building a faith based family unit, but it can’t end there. The next step is rooted in your own faith. Try taking on some reading that is about YOUR relationship with God, explore some of your thoughts on the women in the Bible and find something that fills your tank. Find your joy in it and stretch the boundaries of Gods role in your life. Most importantly, give your husband over to God. Gods plan for him is every bit as perfect as his plan for you, and it is in his hands. Try to be resilient. When I have those moments, I think about the funny internet picture – “His Diary/ Her Diary” Motorcycle wont start… can’t figure out why.

    • “Respect is only one tool. When our search for God begins and ends in our relationship with our spouse, we’re running on empty before we even begin.”


      100% agree. 🙂

      So glad you are here!

      Love to you,

  2. Goodness…well I think there is little to none (with the exceptions of you and Peacefulwife) talk of godly ways to influence your husband without nagging or demanding. Submission in generally can be painted as an “old fashioned” way of relating…

    Even more though, there’s a lot of talk about how others should act but not enough about how we need to operate rightly with God, being responsible for ourselves, in spite of how we are loved or treated imperfectly. And I think especially when it comes to marriage, there’s not enough talk about how important it is to continue to seek God first daily and keep your eyes on him and not your spouse. God will lead, guide, and fill us and keep our focus where it needs to be, allowing Him to be the one to makes changes in our marriage. (I hope that all made sense…)

  3. I felt strongly about what I read. She has done so much for him. I strongly feel that she is not the only woman in his life.

  4. The church you attend can make a huge difference. Confusion and guilt plagued me, then I found out about the porn addiction my husband had and church became a nightmare for me. He was taken to breakfast and lunch a few times and asked to apologize to me. (fight the bitterness even though there is a place for righteous anger) Anyway–God met my need outside the church we attended, when you seek, he answers.
    I think you know the answer to where the balance is off. Isn’t that the reason for your ministry? For Daughters of Sara?
    I’ve sat in support group when women were told they didn’t have to read the Bible to get closer to God, when a woman wasn’t told that her actions were terribly disrespectful towards her husband. And I’ve seen the flip side. I have a friend who believes she is never to question her husbands decisions.
    We need intimacy w/God and his Word, prayer and wise women to share what they’ve learned and to ditch the outward concerns that separate us. (stay home or work, public or home school, spiritual gifts concerns)
    p.s. PTL, hubby free of porn for 8 years

  5. Nina,
    I think you already said it.. Mutuality. God wants us to work together in everything.. even in prayer! I’m not good a quoting scripture, but I know there is a verse about 2 or more coming to the father in prayer..
    Like “Lonely wife” I was counceled by most to leave my husband last year. I felt very strongly that God had told me not to do that. It was hard, but I listened to God. I know my friends and family meant well, but God is who counts! I listened, prayed, learned, and prayed some more.. Today, my marriage is better than ever! The advice I left for “Lonely wife” was to just pray and turn her husband over 100% to God.. we all say we do that, but really don’t.. This time, I actually did it! And it worked! Still not exactly where I would like things, but hey, I’m happy.. I have a committed spouse again who plans for our future together and tells me and shows me he loves me.. I have learned to be more respecful and to hear his love language also.. I keep praying everyday mostly that I feel God’s love, peace, and happiness… and that I not invest my emotional well being in any other human, including my spouse. Only the Lord provided it to me.. and only He can sustain it!

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