Last night, the daily dark thoughts that I’ve been turning over to God moment-to-moment style took hold of my subconscious.
I wasn’t worrying, but I wrestled all day…Someone really close to me with a life-threatening illness and too-long wait for the next doctor’s appointment, a friend’s son hospitalized, another one moving across the world, multiple serious concerns and woes for a number of our church family and our good friends… and my own child-boy-man graduate going in for surgery today to have the metal bar removed from his chest that was implanted to pull his sternum out of his heart a few years back.
These things all spilled over unchecked last night into the strangest of nightmares that seemed to never end.
And yet, His mercies are new every morning.
And today, I was greeting with this, from Acts 27:13-44:
18 The next day as we were being violently storm-tossed, they began to jettison the cargo; 19 and on the third day they threw the ship’s tackle overboard with their own hands. 20 Since neither sun nor stars appeared for many days, and no small storm was assailing us, from then on all hope of our being saved was gradually abandoned. 21 When they had gone a long time without food, then Paul stood up in their midst and said, “Men, you ought to have followed my advice and not to have set sail from Crete and incurred this damage and loss. 22 “Yet now I urge you to keep up your courage, for there will be no loss of life among you, but only of the ship. 23 “For this very night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood before me, 24 saying, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul ; you must stand before Caesar; and behold, God has granted you all those who are sailing with you.’ 25 “Therefore, keep up your courage, men, for I believe God that it will turn out exactly as I have been told. 26 “But we must run aground on a certain island.”
So this morning, as we walk into this day, I am reminded that even if we get it wrong – He’s still with us. I am reminded even if we’re in the midst of a horrible storm, God is still speaking. Even if our courage fails and we think all is lost, our souls are saved because we have chosen to ask Christ to forgive us, and set our lives about the business of following Him, making Him Lord.
And I’m reminded of the amazing things God did when we went through the implanting of the bar, and I choose to remember the blessing, instead of giving over to fear and thinking about the horrifying mistake that was made that no child or parent should ever have to go through. I choose now, and will all day, to pray for those taking care of him, refusing to fan the flames of fear that lick around the periphery of my heart.
And I pray that I learn to listen so well that I can be just like Paul. I want to SEE angels, in addition to hearing God’s voice through His Word, circumstances and the world around me. Call me crazy, but yeah, I want to see angels.
As for me, I plan to spend the time in the waiting room working on editing – I physically shudder when I think of the copious amounts of work I have to do to get the Daughters of Sarah class ready for the women coming to our first training in June. And yet I am thankful for the work, because focusing on that will help me take those other thoughts captive.
Now to just learn to do that in my sleep!
I will be praying for better rest tonight, that’s for sure.
Thanks for being on the journey. If you think about it today, prayers are appreciated.
Love to you,