What We Can Learn From Monica Lewinsky…

Is what the feminism movement won’t talk about.

It’s the elephant in the room, regardless of which “wave” you grew up in.

It’s the thing you might identify with…and wish you couldn’t.

The thing that lingers at the edges of the memories that young women wish they didn’t have…

It’s what you may be trying to prevent for your own daughters…

It’s the SHAME that comes with the so-called “sexual freedom” associated with the movement.

Try as they might, it seems women of all ages have difficulty having that attitude of freedom – for many women it seems, regardless of their religious bent or lack thereof, the feelings associated with out of marriage and pre-marital sexual experiences haunt instead of liberate.


But Monica Lewinsky is talking about it.

Think for just a moment what it would be like to be her, or to be her mother. 

I realized yesterday that Monica Lewinsky is only seven years younger than I am.  (She’s 40 – yeah, I know, we’re ALL older, right?)

At the time of her encounter with President Clinton, I thought of her differently – as younger – and what’s funny is I still think of her as a young girl –  even though we’ve all aged.

Thankfully, she DID age. She confesses in this article that the scandal made her suicidal – which, if there should really be freedom associated with sexual equality and that aspect of feminism, then why the shame?

The truth is that the media eats its own to sell advertising. 

And 15 years ago, the media wasn’t as “owned” as it is now, so conservative voices, brutal as they were, ate this woman for lunch. They shared the details about the blue dress.  They shared the details about a lot of things.

And as I write about her situation today, not knowing her, I admire her speaking out about the TRUTH of what those days did to her. How she felt. And as the press tries to politicize her statements, I just want us all to take a minute and understand that this girl is someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, and someone maybe not so different from you and I in a number of ways.

But if the left is correct (excuse me while I skip the pun), we shouldn’t have done much but bat an eye at the whole affair.

We should have cared as much about the color of the dress as we did about what was on it.

And if the left is correct, and sexual freedom should be celebrated (though deadly) and even pursued, then why does the research show this finding: The prevalence of sadness, suicide ideation, suicide plans and suicide attempts increased with the number of sexual partners across all racial/ethnic groups.”

And let us PLEASE not forget that what

the feminists say they want is this:

We want the right to be sexually active without the presumption that we were used or duped. We want the right to determine our own choices based on our own morality.

But here’s the problem with that: “our own morality” is a relative term.  The problem with relativism is that one person’s moral code crosses another’s – to his or her detriment. 

In Nigeria, RIGHT NOW – as in TODAY, nearly 300 girls are being sold for $12 a head into marriage while their mothers cry.

Whose perception is the presumption of being used or duped based upon?

Those girls feel duped or used at the very least. Their captors I’m sure feel differently – but they aren’t being forced into slavery.  This is literally the opposite of what feminism could ever hope for – it should be what the movement stands against. For what it is worth, I think it does, to a certain extent.

Want to help the Nigerian girls?  Pray.

Just yesterday, the US decided to help. This will not be easy.

We in the west have no clue what “rights” and “equality” are really about.  We with our first world problems have no idea what physical and emotional suffering really is. 

And for a moment today, pause and think of what it would be like to be the mother of one of these girls who has been stolen into forced Islamism. What would you be thinking or feeling if you discovered your daughters gone with all their friends, knowing they were sold as brides to grown  men they didn’t even know who were part of a terrorist ring?

In a world where the same voices that criticize and condemn to generate advertising sales also criticize the Truth that solves many of these issues – we just have to remember that Jesus didn’t call us to judge one another, but to make disciples, to help those who have chosen to follow Him know and obey Him more deeply. 

If we ALL followed Him more closely and understood His words more deeply, we wouldn’t question whether women were precious and important and worthy of respect and love – women would receive honor from men instead of feeling insulted by it. Men wouldn’t use their larger frame to intimidate and control, but rather to protect and serve.

And so I’m asking those of you who do know Him to consider what that means for you.  Dare you to join me in thinking deeply about what we are teaching our daughters, what we are modeling for them as we come to understand Biblical submission and respect and how they play out in marriage.

As Titus women we are to be the Word with skin on – are we doormats or steamrollers?  Or have we found the balance in the narrow path He’s called us to?

Would love to hear how you are figuring this stuff out in your world.

Especially if you have found the freedom He offers to all of us – regardless of where we’ve been or what we’ve done. Or if you are still struggling, know you aren’t alone.

Young Woman Standing with Arms Stretched Out

We are just glad you are here!

At the very least, please pray – and consider yourself invited to get involved in our prayer ministry – you’ll receive just one email a week, plus you’ll get the inside scoop on what’s coming up – not that it’s the reason to join, but at least you’ll have more info than what you get here and can pray more purposefully for the work He has us doing.   :) Thank you so much! You’ve no idea how precious your prayers are to me, personally, and to our entire team.

And, if you are a parent, you know that can be like herding CATS…so know we have people that can help. If you are parenting small people, you should totally follow Leah BUT…follow Debbie if you have tweens, teens, or twenty-somethings. Like us on Facebook so you can know when Daughters of Sarah becomes available in video format this year. I’m also active on Twitter as @NinaRoesner.  Come join the discussion!

Love to you,




titus 2 women leadership

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10 thoughts on “What We Can Learn From Monica Lewinsky…

  1. This moved me today. As I think about those precious girls being sold, and then think how so many in our country tell us that sex means nothing, the dichotomy of these two makes me want to cry. So many women are lost and hurt because of the lies they are fed. I know so many who are haunted by their past. Thank you, Nina, for writing this today. I am praying for those girls in Nigeria. I will be praying for the girls who are hurting. Thank you for addressing a tough and tender subject.

    • Agreed. Too many tears over the last day over this one. Thanks for being here – any good you see in me is Him, baby. 🙂 Thank you for praying for them. I join you in that.

  2. If If it sounds to good to be true, it probably isn’t true. That’s what I have said to my boys so many times as they grew up. Women in our culture have been offered sexual freedom as free; no cost, no obligation, just romance. Thank you for reminding us that we are not free, we are precious. We have been redeemed, bought at a price. We must speak up and let God’s truth be known to our sons and our daughters.

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