When A Child is Hurt… Dare Five of The Respect Dare Journey

Of all the dares in the book, Dare 5 strikes the most nerves.

A child is injured.

Mom saw it coming.


She chose to stay out of His way, and God showed up to teach her husband something.

But what if it had been worse?

Could you have trusted God’s goodness if it hadn’t gone well? Wouldn’t you have taken it out on your husband?

Jim Daly asked me that during a Focus on The Family interview in January. One of the stories in the book is about one of my own kids doing something my husband was cool with, while I was not. He ended up being fine, but what if he hadn’t?

We all come to places in our journey where we have to decide if we (or our marriage, or our kids) are our idol and our goal is to control, or if it is to learn to trust God. If He is everything, if this life really IS all about His glory, if we really believe He is good, then we have to trust Him with the awful things.

Ages ago, my heart bucked at the notion that a good God would allow bad things to happen to the people that chose to follow Him. And as I grew in my parenting (a context, I believe which can really help us understand Him more, and probably why He designed it) I began to allow circumstances to run their courses – and I didn’t always rescue my kids as they grew. Jim and I let them make decisions, and mistakes.

And we’ve learned we not only can’t, but shouldn’t, protect them from everything. (And before you get nervous, know I do/did protect my kids – as led by God, and no, I never let them learn a stove is hot by letting them get burned! :))

But too easy lives typically produce adults with thin skins and little tenacity.

What’s interesting to me as an author, however, is how harsh some other Christians have been about this particular story in the book. I do understand their angst, but some of the blog posts, emails, and Amazon reviews wielded razor-sharp words that well, just hurt.

And early on, I confess some of those words stung enough to bring tears.

Especially the one where I was called, “the worst thing to ever happen to women.” Ouch.

But I also needed some toughening up. I probably still do. And I’m thankful for the opportunity to pray for those who worship a god who only allows good things to the people that follow him.

They don’t know the One True God.

And neither did I when I thought He was like Santa.

But it’s a question we all must wrestle with – and at the end of the day, we’ll either find ourselves worshiping Him for loving us enough to not leave us the same, to grow us through difficulties; or we’ll find ourselves walking away from a God we didn’t even know.

And knowing Him is not only possible, it’s everything. He’s life. He’s hope. He’s everything.

And in the meantime, as we encounter fellow wrestlers, we need to remember our husband is one of those people, and will become our brother if we will but be his friend  and journey with him, instead of expecting him to be our God or Holy Spirit, or trying to be his, all the while wishing he was “further along” in his faith.

contexts through which we become like christ

And while half the world argues over “submission,” “respect,” “slaves,” “how Christian women are still oppressed,” and Jesus, we just need to remember that every moment of every day presents us with a plethora of small decisions to worship. Will we choose Him? Or self?

Will we become an encouraging person? Or will we continue to complain, nag, focus on what’s wrong, instead of looking forward to the learning God has for us in THIS. Even if the now we’re in is nothing less than awful for us at the moment.

Dare you to ask Him to teach you, and know I’m joining you daily in that!

And know you’re not alone…I hope you’ll subscribe to the blog in the sidebar. Know we don’t give out your email to anyone for any reason. But we’d love to have you in our community and join us on the journey.

And if you are parenting little people, you should totally follow Leah and Debbie if you have tweens, teens, or twenty-somethings. Like us on Facebook so you can know when Daughters of Sarah becomes available in video format this year, or schedule one of our weekend retreats. 2014 is nearly full, but 2015 might be an option. I’m also active on Twitter as @NinaRoesner.  Come join the discussions! :) You can follow via the Twitter and subscribe to the blog via the sidebar to the right.

What do you think about all this? Glad you are on the journey!

Love to you,


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2 thoughts on “When A Child is Hurt… Dare Five of The Respect Dare Journey

  1. I am learning so much. Imagine my amazement when I began reading Dare 7 this morning. The Pastor preached on the exact verses last night. I guess God really wants me to get brave and ask the question. I’ll let you know how it goes. Thank you for your book and your blog.
    I feel my life is really changing.


    • Praising Him with you, Kari! 🙂
      So glad you are here!
      ANY good you see is Him!
      Love to you,

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