I Flunked the Biblical Wife Assessment for The Respect Dare… Dare Three

This morning, after rising too late, starting a load of laundry, making copious amounts of cappuccino for DH and myself, I sat down to "do the dare."


“Biblical Wife Assessment.”



That stinks.

Excuse me while I feel small and crawl in my closet.

Or go back to bed.

I went through each category, item by item, and satan grabbed hold of me and before I knew it, I felt like a complete failure.

You might be having the same experience. If you’ve “done the dare” before, know this is one of the reasons we emphasize looking back to before you even started it, instead of focusing on the perfection we will never attain.

I not only WROTE THE STINKIN’ BOOK, I have “done the dare” about a bazillion times. Okay, He wrote it, but used my fingers to type it. You know what I mean.

And I said, “Um, Lord…what’s true here? Because I wrote this at Your leading, and I know You don’t want me feeling defeated. I know You know that sucks all the life and motivation out of me…”

I don’t have all my ducks in a row.


And He lovingly reminded me of Matthew 6.

Normally, a discussion on motives makes me want to curl up in a corner and hide. This time, however, He not only reminded me of how far I’ve come, but reminded me how much He loves me. And my desire to please Him, my motives, make Him smile.

So do yours. 🙂

So there, satan.

Boy Sticking Out His Tongue

Last week I wrote about dealing with criticism from others. Today, I’m talking about not criticizing myself!

And thanks be to God for pointing that out also!

My favorite item on the assessment is under “disciple.” Do I live my life for God, or do I care more about what other people think?

I see tons of progress there, even though it has cost me much, nothing quite measures up to what it cost Him to save me, so I guess I’m okay with that!

And when I remember that, I’m okay with my house not being perfect, FAFSA not being filed yet, taxes looming, home schooling my kids, and Daughters of Sarah still having just 4 sessions left of scripting to do before we can get in the studio (please pray for me this week – it HAS to get done! I actually finally know what He wants, and I just need time to finish it). In the middle of all of it, I know He knows my heart is wanting to do all things well. 

And I’m actually okay with that.

If you’re having trouble knowing who you are or Whose you are, this might help.

And I’m praying my heart keeps that motivation. It won’t, but He’ll gently bring me back and keep growing me.

Hope you’ll join us on this journey if you haven’t already by subscribing to my blog over on the sidebar to the right. We’re going through the dares, one a week, in different contexts.

In the meantime, what about you? Are you glad I flunked? What did YOU experience going through the assessment?Please comment below! :)Let’s talk!

Crazy week with the broadcasts. If you didn’t hear the ones on Focus on the Family, click here to listen. We also love the ones we did two weeks before with FamilyLife Today. Lots of basic info to get you started on the dares. Jim and I just registered for their Weekend to Remember – we’ve been 5 times and love going back for a tune up. Hope you can attend one soon!

And you should totally follow Leah if you are a young wife with little people, and Debbie if you have tweens, teens, or twenty-somethings. Like us on Facebook so you can know when Daughters of Sarah becomes available in video format this year, or schedule one of our weekend retreats. 2014 is nearly full, but 2015 might be an option. I’m also active on Twitter as @NinaRoesner.  Come join the discussions! 🙂 You can follow via the Twitter link in the sidebar to the right.

At any rate, I’m so glad we’re all in this together, on the journey at the same time. Iron sharpening iron… Dare you today to chime in on the environment you are creating in your home… What do YOU feel led to do? How have YOU responded to criticism?

Comment, share… let’s change the world together.

Love to you,


If you blog, please join us and feel free to share your blog in the Linky below – we’ll pick some to send out to our readers over the weekend each week. You’ll be a Titus 2 woman of influence by commenting, even if you don’t blog! 🙂

titus 2 women leadership

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

7 thoughts on “I Flunked the Biblical Wife Assessment for The Respect Dare… Dare Three

  1. I absolutely love journaling especially since I have been reading The Respect Dare. It allows me to read about my failures and pray about getting it right the next time, but it also allows me to celebrate my successes. I can see my growth as a wife and my husband gets the benefits and God gets the glory.

    • Martha! 🙂 YES YES YES Celebrate the successes! 🙂 Good stuff. Whatever is true noble right pure etc-style! 🙂
      Love to you,

  2. Oh I have flunked this one many times over.. this is my 3rd go round.. and like you, I see progress.. I have my journal from the first time.. I was SOOOO sad back then. I was feeling defeated by everything and feeling like a complete failure in my entire life up to that point. I know I will NEVER pass this one the way I would want to and that is ok. I do what I can and keep trying and praying. steady improvement and progress in my walk with the Lord is all that is required of me.

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