“You don’t understand, if I don’t do it, it won’t get done.”
“He doesn’t lead at home at all. He doesn’t even participate.”
“Why should I submit or respect? I’m the one doing everything in our family.”
My heart aches for those statements, and the women who make them. And unfortunately, I understand, because I created an environment in my own home for a while where it would have been nearly impossible for any man to lead, much less the good one I married.
And understand this, I am NOT saying that a woman, a wife, a mom, shouldn’t also lead in her home. She’s the kids’ main disciple, teacher, and she’s the one who SEES the home more clearly than her husband, so she’s the home manager – but biblically, when the day is over, she’s not the one God holds as fully responsible for her family.
Check Genesis 3.
And while there are those that say because a man is the head of the wife in the bible, the wife shouldn’t do anything he doesn’t tell her to do, hat she’s a “second class citizen,” a “maid,” if you will. I don’t know when serving like Jesus became such a bitter pill for women to swallow – the whole bible is about this, btw – and we are naturally wired to serve and care for others… but that other guy would have us think all sorts of things that are the opposite of “health” in relationships. I recently blogged a bit about the whole submission discussion here, if you want more on that. It’s just not what we think. We make it way too complicated.
If you have a “passive husband” or buy the lie that you have no voice, you need to rethink a few things. We wives can have a ton of influence – but we often go about it wrongly, at least I did. We get in our own way (or as the Proverb says, tear down our homes with our own hands, instead of being wise, and building it).
I listened to today’s Focus on the Family broadcast and discovered that Jim Daly, John Fuller and I talked about submission, sex, and men’s leadership. Good grief. Did I leave anything controversial out?
Click on the below image of Focus on the Family’s logo to hear today’s broadcast, but before you go, can I humbly invite you to “subscribe” here to the blog? We won’t give your email away to anyone at any time, and you will stay up to date with our journey through The Respect Dare book together, just one dare a week. Consider yourself invited, and share wildly – if your husband’s not participating much less leading in your home as your life partner, you’ll want to learn how to help with that, and so will your friends. I want for you what God has brought into my life – freedom, a strong sense of who I am in Him, and a marriage that glorifies Him. I so hope you’ll join us! And I do hope you’ll share today’s broadcast with others – as wild as this sounds, even to me as I write it, we feel called to impact the world, to help other women deeply connect with the Father, and change their families as a result. #humbly submitted… 🙂
And you should totally follow Leah if you are a young wife with little people, and Debbie if you have tweens, teens, or twenty-somethings. Like us on Facebook so you can know when Daughters of Sarah becomes available in video format this year, or schedule one of our weekend retreats. 2014 is nearly full, but 2015 might be an option.
At any rate, I’m so glad we’re all in this together, on the journey at the same time. I also talk about the importance of girlfriends and how they are SUCH a necessary part of doing marriage well in today’s broadcast above. 🙂 Iron sharpening iron… Dare you today to chime in on the environment you’ve created in your home… do you have a voice? Has he stopped listening? What lies have you been believing that have left you longing for influence? Or do you have a partnership, one where both husband and wife are focused on what God wants instead of their own agenda?
Comment, share… let’s change the world together. 🙂
Love to you,